Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 20 total)
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  • #8937
    janey1
    Participant
    #8938
    Hope1
    Participant

    Interesting paper. The thing I find difficult is that after the action of gambling. When the losses are realized and the damage is done as the gambler realizes the aftermath to come from his action of stealing money to fuel the addiction, the gambler tells me how bad he feels and he does not feel good about himself. After such a negative low though he still went back and did it all again. So there were no rewards to reinforce the behavior just pain.

    #8939
    Anonymous
    Guest

    There are rewards Anni.. Each time a decision is made to gamble the fantasy world of the gambler takes over .. There are possibilities of huge wins which will put everything right, which will allow the gambler to be the generous person they were before the addiction and give to family and friends, which will undo all the bad gambling has done .. All will be ok

    …but of course that doesn’t happen..instead the problems caused by gambling get worse , driving the gambler to further despair .. Until there is hope and promise once more and the gambler can escape the awful world he has created ..

    It is a vicious cycle ..the further the gambier falls, the more it seems like gambling is the only solution , so the stakes must be higher to get a win worth having …
    So the reward for gambling is hope which is uplifting, the buzz of the wins and escape from the awful world he has created

    #8940
    Hope1
    Participant

    Thanks, but equally the feeling bad after all of it goes wrong is such a negative feeling so if you think about it -gamble, lose -get into trouble- so that makes you feel bad and surely you would want to avoid that. E.g. You touch a hot iron, there is pain so you don’t touch it again. The gambler I know said after doing it he felt bad and it all felt wrong. I do get what you have said, it’s just hard to fully comprehend. I have listened to five live where the footballer john hart son told his story, even though he knew he was doing wrong he kept on going. What it that makes a gambler really and finally change?

    #8941
    velvet
    Moderator

    Hi Anni
    If you are still following this thread, I suggest that you join the Friends and Family forum or the Friends and Family group.
    You have obviously been affected by the addiction to gamble and I recognise that you will have many questions.
    I would love to ‘meet’ you in a group, or reply to you in the forum -where I promise you understanding.
    Hoping you post again soon
    Velvet

    #8942
    Anonymous
    Guest

    gosh i can understand until a point. you know the low that they feel of gambling is what i would the gambler that we live would remember .
    if he kept that feeling he would think about it more before going… i love to read about their ways that way i can have an understanding and educate myself but still hurts and its still hard the loneness that is felt . i hope that this still helps.. god bless

    #8943
    Hope1
    Participant

    Hello Tania, go to the family and friends page where I have written about someone getting their life back on track. When a gambler realizes he needs help because he has a problem, then there is hope. The next step is for him to get help, real help and therapy when you get to this point hope becomes real and people can turn their lives around just by understanding the addiction and the triggers to gambling . There is hope but there is a long onward journey. Try to get your partner to get help, that is the only way. I have not heard of one person who has managed to get through this alone. All the best A

    #8944
    joker
    Participant

    Good article. I can agree with the well defined reasons for gambling. Now I would like to see an article of the same caliber with studies or ideas to counter-act those reasons for gambling. Gambling addictions like a black hole that seems too complicated for many folks with the “know how” to want to pick apart and analyze a clear and concise explanation. It seems the smart ones with the “know how” are working against us working for the casino, instead of working for us or offering any real world help. There’s a deep black hole and a bunch of helpers only want to peek their head in and make a snide remark or quick quip or comment. I commend anyone with deep commitment on this subject as I am a dedicated student.

    #8945
    Hope1
    Participant

    Well here we are again only it is worse because after six years of pain, then in January 15 three months of hope and belief we are in the same horrendous, heartbreaking, soul destroying, sea of hopelessness, knowledge that there is no support out ther that gamblers are full on liars, only interested in themselves. Even after giving, giving, giving giving, believing, hoping etc etc etc etc nothing changes.

    #8946
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Greetings
    It’s like a roller coster..
    Am sad that you are finding your self in this moment.
    They get out of control ,and its a scary road but as dark as it seem there light only if they choose to see it.
    Their lies are worse as there their addiction progresses.
    What have u done for you gosh I hear your pain I do
    I have learned to a bit more for me and the kids its a working processes. Trying to look for help for me let’s see how it goes.
    Your strong don’t give up on u!

    #8947
    Hope1
    Participant

    Thanks tania for your encouragement but at the moment I can’t see anything positive , I’m just done in

    #8948
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I understand and no one can hold that against you
    Its wears us out..
    Your feelings are valid
    We give it are all and we still feel that it wasn’t enough but it is they are onces that don’t give it a Start . your strong, hope for you hope for progress don’t lose it.

    #8949
    Abandoned
    Participant

    I am also back to square one 10 years later. CG husband left and left me to sort out the joint debts he is living elsewhere and paying of his gambling debts with no interest to provide food or help to me and 2 children. What kind of people do this acknowledge they have a problem but can’t say sorry and then leave you with the problem

    #8950
    charles
    Moderator

    Hi Abandoned and welcome to the site. Whilst you will never get abandoned here, this is a quiet forum used to discuss the latest research articles etc. If you copy and paste your post to the Family and Friends Forum you will get a lot of feedback and support there.

    Check out the Group schedule as well – there is a friends and family Group on a Tuesday evening (UK time) and other all members welcome groups as well. A New members group is running as I type this. Hopefully I will meet you in a group soon and look forward to seeing you progress with the support that you can get in the Family Forum.

    #8951
    RebeCz154
    Participant

    Good read. Thank you for sharing.

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