2 April 2012 at 4:11 pm #7441paul315Participant
Originally posted by paul315
… This will not really be a new topic per se, it is still about the ways and means that I find helpful in my recovery; I am merely separating and posting the sub-topics …
In reading past post and in dealing with some recent thoughts of my own considering "why not gamble", I have came to a conclusion that "urge" is a word that stands on its own, similar to the word unique. An urge to gamble is by definition a "a strong impulse, inner drive, or yearning" and I find that it can not actually be added to or subtracted from; that is, urges can not become stronger, or weaker — they may become more or less frequent, but the feeling itself is always a strong inner drive.
In my recent battle with gambling in the form of "playing" the lotto, I have also found that while an urge to gamble is always a strong impulse, that it is our desire, e.g. our longing, craving, and wish, to gamble that can increase or weaken in strength. And while the simple, yet strong, urge to gamble can be dealt with for what it is, our desires concerning gambling is more complex and has different values. We have both the desires to stop gambling, and the desires to continue our compulsive gambling, plus the desire to be a "normal" gambler in control of gambling.
The urge can be dealt with by delaying the action, and my just letting it pass as show in the theory of Urge Surfing (one example can be found here: http://www.theemotionmachine.com/urge-surfing-how-to-overcome-addictive-behaviors); an urge can not hurt you, only in giving in to an urge can we, or those around us, be harmed.
Urges can also be confused with just everyday adventures and having to face the normal everyday brushes with the gambling industry; seeing an ad for a casino, or the lotto, is not an urge, hearing about someone else’s gambling experiences is not an urge, and even that "I-Don’t-Give-A-Rat’s Ass" attitude that creeps in is not an urge. When we see such normal everyday encounters, and the occasional feeling to just give up, as an urge, we start to want to battle something that does not exist, allowing for even more diversions form our work on recovering. Deal with an urge by letting it go; deal with the temptations that entice everyone to gamble, and deal with the fact that we are in the mist of gambling in our everyday lives by looking at the affects of gambling on our lives in a rational, honest, and sincere way — "weight the pros and con of the gambling, and you will find that the benefits of not gambling far accedes any of the promises that the gambling industry presents".
Dealing with and directing our desires is where the harder work in involved, we can not just say we have a desire to stop gambling and proceed as if there is no counter desire. The desire to gamble has been nourished for a long time, and a desire to be gambling free has to also have time to nourish and take over. And when an ad or reference to gambling turns into an obsession or a negative growing desire, it it time to face that problem and work at not gambling for anything; it is time to to let the "HOW" to recovery take over, we need to be Honest about our feelings, Open minded about the truths and consequences of gambling, and Willing to do all we can to not gamble — in doing all we can to not gamble, we are not leaving any reason to gamble.
To build our desire to live a more normal life we need to live gambling free; we need to live now during our struggles as we are hoping to live when the control our addiction has over us has been arrested — we need to "fake it until we make it". But to even just fake living a better life, we need to not give in to urges or the temptations, we need to stay gambling free. We need the quality time that not gambling allows us to make the needed changes that will keep us gambling free, and will strengthen our desire and resolve to not gamble again.
This is not to say that if someone does give in to an urge, or does just gamble for no reason, that they are forsaking what is required to progress, that they are not doing what is required to reach our goal of living gambling free; when we "slip" we are still in recovery, and when we return after our relapse, we are still working our program and still progressing. And even with the break in clean time, we are still adding to the quality time needed to become the person we are meant to be by being gambling free today, and in the today’s of the future.
This is my views on urges, and the thought process that helped by pass by the lotto shops and overcome the temptations that bombarded the airways and the talk on the streets concerning a $600 Million Dollar payout. Not only did my looking at the HOW for staying gambling free, what I read and heard from others helped me in making the right choice; seeing the cons of winning, in additions to the cons of returning to the road of gambling and despair, showed me just how fortunate I am. l hope that anyone who reads this might benefit from the thoughts expressed, and if willing, respond to them so as I and others may learn from you. And not only respond, but add some Ways & Means of your own. We are all in this together and need each other; "We are not one self but many selves".
God’s speed. Keep aware. Stay strong. Don’t gamble for anything, or for nothing.
Thanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.– 4/2/2012 5:17:48 PM: post edited by paul315.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.