13 July 2012 at 4:02 pm #7431paul315Participant
13. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family?
As mentioned when I started using a new topic addressing a single issue instead of keeping a general thread going, posting about a single issue in new topics as a way of continuing my postings started in Recovery – Ways & Means . Again I am going to repeat here a subject I posted to that original topic to give me better tracking abilities in the review of my journaling. And this topic on the GA 20 Questions, also is a way of me following their advice to "continuously review the Twenty Questions".
While reading over the 20 Questions during a past GA meeting, one stood out in my mind; Question 13 – Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family? My original answer at the GA meeting was a simple yes, bur here in my early post in GT my answer was, Yes, I cut my daughter’s child support short. That answer is the same when first answered, but, now that I am making amends for that particular financial harm, it is no longer the obvious answer to the other harm, I can see other ways that I was careless; both to me and my family.
A major carelessness that still haunts me is that I completely ignored any thinking of how my being separated and the consequential breakup of my marriage would effect us and our welfare. My only purpose at the time I left was to escape, an escape that led to my loosing myself in the bowels of compulsive gambling. This addiction was an easy escape from dealing with the cause of my leaving my family.
I have now dealt with, and am dealing with, the cause, and the financial responsibilities that I ignored. However, correcting the separation is no longer a viable option. This realization hid me hard when others at a GA meeting were talking about how their wives still brought up past wrongs even though they had now been gambling free over periods of time; the mistrust and reminders still caused concern and a need for continued efforts in making amends. I wish I had their concern;although I now contribute to our daughters welfare, my carelessness left me gone, left me separated from any concern over trust, and any direct family involvement at all, it resulted in a broken family.
I am reviewing this Question today because of a message in "Today’s thought from Hazelden". It is copied below not to remind me of the hurt, it is not needed for this, but to remind me to not cause any more. Also that others might be made more aware of the collateral damages of gambling.
Today’s thought from Hazelden is:
Is there any stab as deep as wondering where and how much you failed those you loved?
–Florida Scott Maxwell
Treating our loved ones as we hope to be treated is our assurance against failing them. And if we listen to our inner voice, we’ll never falter in our actions toward others. There is always a right behavior, a thoughtful response, and a respectful posture.
Let us be mindful that we’re sharing our experiences with others who need the talents we have to offer. It’s not by coincidence but by design that we’re given opportunities to treat those close at hand in some manner. We’d do well to let the choice be loving.
How we treat another invites like treatment. Actions from our heart will soften our own struggles. Also, spiteful, critical treatment of others will hamper our steps. We teach others how to treat us by our gestures and words.
The inner voice can be heard if I choose to listen. It will never guide me wrongly.
You are reading from the book:
The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg
LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all , I will continue to remain gambling free.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.