25 January 2022 at 3:27 pm #147418
Hello again,i was gamble free since the last time i posted,but yesterday i relapsed.I think it hurts even more then before because i was clean and didnt gamble for aboout one month.I really dont know why i did it.I really feel bad about right now and seems to me that i will never the gambling go.I dont even play anymore to win money,its just inside my head so deep that i cannot explain it.I cant find joy in anything anymore,im hiding this dark secret from my girfriend and family but i notice that they think there is something wrong.I just wanted to wtite this here,thinking that i will feel better because i realize that there are a lot of people like me.
I dont knlw what to say really,i just hope that i will stay strong and get rid of this thing completely.Wish you all the guys that are reading the same.
25 January 2022 at 7:04 pm #147435ccmessina18Participant
It is very brave of you coming here and tell your story. Now, relapses happen and it is ok as long as you don’t put yourself pressure. I have had gambling problem for a decade now and I have had many of these bad days. However the best days are those where you take the decision of moving out again. Remember who you are and that it is only one day lost of your life. It does not determine the progress you have nor your future. Remember that deep down you know your limitation and that you are human after all. A human that is here to fight and give a better future to yourself and the people around you. Be proud of you mate. Xoxo
25 January 2022 at 7:26 pm #147437
Thank you for your response,it helps when you realize that you are not alone.
Well this is only addiction i ever had,i dont use drugs nor alcohol and i dont really know how to cope with it.Some unfortunate things happened in my life that may led to this,maybe i was looking for escape,i really dont know.
Thanks once more for your kind words.
Much love <3
25 January 2022 at 8:20 pm #147441
Hi Vintagehoby. Yes, you are very brave to be open about your relapse. Its part of our journey to relapse and get back on the horse again. You certainly are not on your own. I’m struggling to stop for 24 hours at the moment. Super well done for the length of time you managed to stop for. Have you managed to stop again now? I have been reading some interesting research about just how this addiction is chemical and that our brains become wired for gambling in a chemical reaction sense. That must be why it is so hard to stop. We have to start rewiring ourselves to stop producing the chemicals we produce when we gamble. I think thats the gist of the research? Maybe someone can shed some light on this. Anyway, keep going again. You are not alone.
25 January 2022 at 8:35 pm #147443
Hello there,thanks for your care and nice words,i relapsed yesterday and lost some 200 euros in matter of minutes,i felt urge to go to atm and deposit more money but somehow i did not.
I went home and had nervous breakdown,all those thoughta were up in my head,everything i did up until now.Why did i start it,will i ever stop.I was feeling really bad and i didnt even return call to my gf.I really dont know much about these chemicals in our brain,i read something about it but still is a mistery to me to be honest.
When was the last time you gambled,and what are your ways of surpressing the urge?
25 January 2022 at 8:42 pm #147444
I am at the beginning of the stopping journey vintagehoby. I cant event stop for one day at the moment. When I do try I find distractions work like watching a good film, going for a walk, anything really to try and take my mind off getting obsessive thoughts about gambling and acting on them. Also I have been trying wellness meditation apps – they seem to be quite good. It’s good that you stopped yourself getting more money from the ATM. The only thing I have done is cut down the amount I’m gambling. But that isn’t foolproof and I know that really the only way is to cut it out completely.
25 January 2022 at 9:00 pm #147445
I understand,i had period of time when i was losing insane amounts of money.But interesting thing is i feel like that even winning right now isnt filling this void inside me,i dont know if you feel the same way?
I try to play some video games in my free time,watch some movie also i like to work on my car,everything that keeps my mind away from thinking about gambling.
If its not too personal,do you have some ocupation,like unevrsity,job or something else?
- This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by vintagehoby.
25 January 2022 at 9:12 pm #147447
Yes, I think I get what you are saying? It’s as though money has lost its real meaning – winning or losing its kind of the same? Is that what you mean? I think filling that void has long gone. I feel as though I am on auto pilot about gambling. I just have to do it. Win or lose. I dont care anymore. That’s why its so important to stop. life is going on around. We need to jump back in to reality. Otherwise its like being in some strange Scifi movie – reality has changed. Yes, I do work too and have a job. That keeps me sane I think!
25 January 2022 at 9:32 pm #147448
Yes i mean exactly that,when i started gambling, winning meant something,later it was just for filling the urge.And i think that is the biggest problem of ours.We need to have that fix otherwise we will feel emtpy and life will not have any purpose.It should not be like that,we have families,a lot of other things that this world offers we can enjoy in a nicer way.If you ever feel need to talk personaly send me a message and we can talk,maybe will benefit for both of us.
25 January 2022 at 10:04 pm #147454
Let’s try and keep those things at the front of our minds: family, friends, jobs, things we enjoy doing. The REAL aspects of life: not the fantasies of winning loads of money. We know that this will never happen! If winning or losing have lost their ‘fix’ worth – then why are we carrying on? I can win £X of money – but I have definitely lost £X money same amount. All I am really doing is winning back the money I have spent. Why not just not bother to gamble it in the first place? I will have the same amount of money anyway? Just to get my ‘fix’ of gambling highs which dont even get me high anymore? It’s rubbish. It’s a waste of my life. It’s time to stop. Surely? And yet…why can I put £10 on a game and win £1200 which I did and so have you and everyone else and THAT’S why the gambling companies keep reeling us into their NETS!!!
25 January 2022 at 10:24 pm #147457
Exactly,its all big lie and illusion,im just amazed how its promoted everywhere,on instagram,celebrities are advertising it on instagram and making it look like its something good.And many young people i know are victims of it,its all pretty sad
Lets keep it positive mate,we will get out of this!
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