I feel like killing myself today!! I’ve been gambling free for approx 3 weeks until tonight! I banned myself from all the local bookies when I ‘gave up’ but still managed to blow all my wages in a fobt! It doesn’t matter what I do to stop me gambling or how many times I cock up, I just keep doing it over and over again.
I feel awful, I’ve let myself down as well as my family! All I want to do us just have my life back, I have such great expectations for my life but I’m constantly being f**ked over by my stupidity as a compulsive gambler… How many times will I have to hit rock bottom and cry myself to sleep before this horrible addiction has left me. This must be the at least the 10th time in the last year I’ve felt like this and it feels worse every time it happens! Truth is I don’t know how much more I can take of it. I just want a break but everywhere I go there are gambling machines, I feel like they’re constantly bullying me and I just want out!!! Please God give me the break I need and let me live MY life.