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    • #29891
      Smee707
      Participant

      I was 2 weeks gamble free after losing £20,000 online.
      I was happy, I was getting on with my life and working hard to save up some money. I had £10,000 and plans to move to London next month and start a new job.

      Last night, somehow, I let myself play blackjack again. I won £500 and closed the table, an hour later I was back.

      Deposit after deposit I lost everything I own except £1,000 because I somehow seen sense in that I need to eat for the next 2 weeks before I get paid.

      I was happy before, I had gotten over my £20,000 loss and was on the up.

      Now I feel like im in the biggest hole ever, I doubt that I will ever stop if I relapsed after just 2 weeks.

      I had £30,000, I now have nothing.

    • #29892
      Anonymous
      Guest

      hi Smee,it is the most horrible feeling in the world when you lose a huge sum of money. As you found after your first 20.000 you will get over it and the temptation will be there to chase it. Use all the support you can Smee…these forums, the helpline, the groups and also GA,

      you have learned a very hard lesson about when gambling becomes compulsive. you will be able to stop. Many people stop every day. Don’t be too hard on yourself-whats done is done.

      you have kept enough money to last you til payday.
      you can put barriers in place like a gambling blocker on your computer.
      you will be ok.!!!

    • #29893
      vera
      Participant

      You will NEVER win your money back Smee!
      Believe me, I tried.
      It just gets worse and worse every time.
      We only stop gambling when we suffer enough!
      Time to start again…
      Love yourself .
      Tough Love!

    • #29894
      Smee707
      Participant

      Thank you guys.
      I really appreciate your positive responses.

      I find it so hard every day, realising how much money I had and now don’t have. Realising how I can’t do the things I want to do.

      2 weeks ago I thought I had ruined my life, I still had £10k but that seemed like nothing.

      Now I have £1,000 and just realise how pathetic and miserable my life is and my future will be.

    • #29895
      I_Maverick
      Participant

      It’s a hard fact to take sir. I am still trying to adjust that I screwed my source of income – my own business. I have no work, no clients. Why? Because time I should have spent building the business I was gambloing? Why? We had a massive contract that ended in Jan. Since Jan I have been a wreck. I have to live with that.

      I wish you all the best. Go to GA and meet others. Get blockers – DO NOT USE CREDIT CARDS TO TRY AND WIN YOUR MONEY BACK, PLEASE!!! Let it go, do not do any more damage. You are a CG like the rest of us. I couldn’t accept it 3 years ago, I refused to even though to my wife it was clear I was. I pretended to give up but gambled in secret. Then get caught, then pretend again, then get caught. Pathetic. Now it;s over I am on day 8 – only when I lost everytghing (she is leaving me, my biz is dead etc etc) can I stop. I could fall further still in terms of credit cards, but I have devided this is where it stops. This is where I take a stand. I hope you can do the same.

      I lost 30K over 3 years, but I lost much more than that. That’s less than a yearly income. MOney is not so important as love and trust and I blew that.

      Find where your nearest GA is and go as many times as you can. I go 3 or 4 times a week.

      My heart goes out to you mate

      M

    • #29896
      I_Maverick
      Participant

      Hey Smee

      Not heard from you for a while. How are you doing and getting on? Let us know, there are people here who care.

      Hope all is well

      Mav

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