- This topic has 22 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by Steev.
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24 November 2019 at 3:15 am #53162Ryan123678Participant
Lost all my savings just over a week ago really been struggling as I don’t get much money as I have a disability so it is very difficult to save any money.
Any tips for resisting the urge to gamble I can’t seem to forget about the losses and feel sick daily thinking about it.
Have just got a huge vet bill aswell which I can’t afford and is making me want to gamble more.
Also about a year ago I went in my bank and told them I was a cg and they said it would be put on system. So I contacted them last week saying why was I allowed to empty my account in a short space of time. They said they can’t stop me spending my own money but I don’t see the point of putting it on the system if they are not going to stop betting site transactions. Don’t know if I should try to take it further. -
24 November 2019 at 3:26 am #53163i-did-itParticipant
Hi Ryan
I’m sorry to read things are difficult for you right now. Resisting urges is very difficult – I use barriers to help me – So I have gamban on my phone and other internet devices, I ordered a new bank card and got someone to scratch the last three numbers off the back so I can’t use it online.Another idea is to switch to a bank which will not allow gambling transactions like Monzo bank.
I hope this helps .
Stay strong – things get so much better when we stop.. -
24 November 2019 at 4:45 am #53164MurrS7Participant
I did the same thing, the bank literally HAS to give you any available $ that you have available to you. By law. They can make a note of it, and maybe mention it when you are trying to withdraw, but chances are you , like myself, will tell them give me the $ I am asking for(happened to me 100 times). I know the feeling all too well if losing all of your savings, and chasing losses was my downfall. Basically you need to accept the money you have lost is gone, you are never going to get it back, you can only make the number larger should you decide to chase more., and even if you did get it back, you would convince your brain that you have $ again to gamble and you will play smarter yada yada yada been there 100 times also, the more money we have the more available funds we have is only more time to fuel this evil addiction. How long do you want to feel that pain of losing , winning, losing it all again , until like myself, there is nothing left to gamble. Almost consider it a relief that it’s over… now time to be smart. Learn from mistakes, work hard, rebuild your finances and your mental health. Don’t think like a gambler, think like a measured individual who is wise and learning from mistakes. Think of your losses as a car loan or a student loan.. pay it off in time… don’t think of it as gambling loss.
Take care
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24 November 2019 at 6:32 am #53165Ryan123678Participant
Thanks for the replies been coming back on the forum and reading posts when I feel I am about to gamble again.
I have read most of your article murr and it has been very helpful reading your story and people who have posted theirs -
25 November 2019 at 10:02 am #53166duncParticipant
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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1 December 2019 at 4:11 am #53167SauchgirlParticipant
Hi Ryan,
I’m sorry to hear you have lost all your savings as well. Do you have pet insurance to help cover your bills?
It sounds like you have been gamble free for over a few weeks now which is great! We just need to keep telling ourselves that we will never re coup those loses with more gambling. I’ve been on this site so many times the last few days and I find the constant checking in really helps.
Today is a new day and new month.
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1 December 2019 at 5:13 am #53168Ryan123678Participant
Yes it’s been a couple of weeks and got a bit easier each day.
Unfortunately my dog had pre existing conditions so would have cost too much for me to insure him. -
8 December 2019 at 1:14 am #53169Ryan123678Participant
Been so depressed the last few days can’t stop thinking about the 7k I lost it was everything I had. Really struggling don’t know what to do I’m not even sleeping.
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8 December 2019 at 1:53 am #53170i-did-itParticipant
Hi Ryan
One of the hardest things when we stop gambling is to let go of the losses. I try to think of it as a failed business – when a business person goes bankrupt they don’t go and sink more money into a bust business. They often brush themselves down and start again.You can do this too- letting go of the loss will stop you wanting to win it back .
This is not an easy journey but life does become much easier if we can stick with it .
Keep strong – u are doing good -
8 December 2019 at 6:42 am #53171Ryan123678Participant
Thanks for the reply. The analogy of the business is good. I need to find something to keep my mind busy I’m dwelling on it too much.
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8 December 2019 at 7:39 am #53172Seanraj4731Participant
Hello ryan. I read your journal i feel that hurt and pain in those words. Now you focus on healing and recovery being here and getting the emotional and practical support we need to move on. I am here for you on this forum to let you know life moves on after a lose and as the other members here have reply to you see it as failed business and a student loan, see it as a tool to move you away from that negative activity and to put your mind in a place where people like yourself are struggling daily, with to help them with bigger problem than yourself. Have that desire to rebuild and move on my brother. Stay strong. Be strong. Be a role model. And rise above this.
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22 December 2019 at 11:56 pm #53173Ryan123678Participant
Does anyone else have a bad day when the day they lost comes around again.
I lost all my savings over 2 days and each Sunday I think this time however many weeks ago this happened all day.
Really struggling recently can’t seem to forgive myself.
Also does anybody feel guilty at Christmas I do knowing people will spend money they have earnt on gifts for me when I have wasted all my money I feel like I don’t deserve anything. -
23 December 2019 at 12:20 am #53174kathryn111Participant
im thinking that there are so many doorways into stopping and am so afraid of hitting a bottom before i stop. i feel like this is a good first step. ive been reading a few sites about “the problem” but i m looking for what is the thought that will get me to make the decision to stop. i know my first thought is what will i do with the emptiness of the days and nights without the high and whatever the chemical that is released in my brain when i am gambling. i have been able to head home after work because i dont want to drive the snowy road in middle of nite to go home. but i have now signed into an online gambling site and went like seven hours straight. i feel like it is a matter of doing a list of steps that will fill my time and lots of self talk. i have shingles i think from the stress and where i would usually divert my self to physical stuff like housework , i have been just going to the computer or tv. i am glad to have a place like this where i know others will understand and i can have some hope to stop this madness.
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23 December 2019 at 4:48 am #53175MurrS7Participant
You have to be more kind to yourself Brother. Be more compassionate with how you speak to yourself during these times. You cannot change the past, you cannot change what you did and neither can I nor anyone else. But we can learn from this and grow. We can never make the same mistake again, we can rebuild our life gamble free, we can make money back, we can have gamble free time. time with loved ones, family, friends, partners. People spend money they have on gifts for you because they know you are a good person, you are not a bad person for being a compulsive gambler. You had an addiction That you are working at beating everyday. Remember the true meaning of Christmas is not gifts.. it’s moments
spent with those close to you. And if you can continue gamble free, to me that is the greatest gift of all that you can Give yourself ; and also to those around you that You think you’ve hurt with this addiction.
merry Christmas brother stay strong -
24 December 2019 at 4:12 pm #53176Seanraj4731Participant
Good day Ryan I am agreeing with Stephen when he typed: “You’ve to be more kind to yourself Brother. Be more compassionate with how you speak to yourself during these times. You cannot change the past, you cannot change what you did and neither can I nor anyone else. But we can learn from this and grow. We can never make the same mistake again”
The power words have on our own lives we ought observe closely on what we tell ourselves daily.
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25 December 2019 at 1:16 am #53177Ryan123678Participant
Thanks for the replies everyone it helps a lot and I hope you all have a good Christmas .
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25 December 2019 at 1:37 am #53178Seanraj4731Participant
Thanks ryan to you the same. Have a wonderful holidays. Keep on keeping on bro. Peace and love brother
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28 December 2019 at 1:27 am #53179CarrieAngelParticipant
Hi Ryan,
I am somewhere in between a heavy gambler and someone who does not have a gambling problem and attempts to help the gamblers. I used to play blackjack and lost $300 at a time. I did that several times in a row and also lost unknown amounts of money on scratch-offs, Club Keno and other things. What I did was I started keeping a tally of my wins/losses in my phone. I kind of got lucky at first because I showed a modest positive balance so I didn’t learn my lesson and I kept gambling. Once I started to go negative and I saw that it was creeping downward even more (after many ups and downs), it started to discourage me from gambling. When you don’t know what you overall losses are, you are more likely to engage in gambling than when you do. Some people think they’re starting with a clean slate every time they walk into a casino (or bar that has gambling.) I always weigh my TOTAL losses/gains (since I started keeping track, that is). I pretend my total losses are basically my losses for THAT day…THAT session.
Merry belated Christmas and good luck 🙂 -
28 December 2019 at 2:45 pm #53180Ryan123678Participant
Thanks for the reply. I’m really struggling accepting the losses I’m thinking about it everyday I hope it will get better and we can all have a good 2020
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29 December 2019 at 11:20 pm #53181SteevParticipant
Ryan – can you get into chat one evening or maybe contact someone on the 1-2-1 here. It is difficult to help when we know so little about you – e.g. the nature of your disability, where you are located, etc. There may be things that people could suggest that would be helpful – but I feel all we can say at the moment is “forget your losses and don’t gamble” which I don’t think is helping you. Hope you can get in touch soon.
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30 December 2019 at 10:53 am #53182Ryan123678Participant
Will have a look.
I’m in Liverpool uk.
I’m trying to be more positive and it helps me coming on here reading others stories. It’s been about six weeks now without gambling and I don’t think I could have done it without this site thank you everyone who has taken time to comment on my journsl.
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28 January 2020 at 1:45 pm #53183Ryan123678Participant
Wrote an update in Sean’s thread and thought I would put it in here for anybody interested.
Its been about 3 months now and it has got easier I’m not as focused as I was on the losses in the early weeks. I try to just see it as an expensive lesson learnt. Things going on in the world and to people I know brings things into perspective and I’m lucky to be alive and need to live in the present as I can not change what has already happened. -
28 January 2020 at 2:51 pm #53184SteevParticipant
You are right – it is an expensive lesson to learn, but if we have learnt it then it is all good.
Some never learn it and lose their homes, their livelihoods even their lives.
I sometimes feel I wasted 20 years of my life – I am travelling now in my 60s and I could have been doing this in my 30s or 40s … but then I think, “well at least I am travelling – if I was still gambling I would be stuck in a darkened room somewhere pushing coins into flashing machines!”
Congratulations on your 3 months and I look forward to most positive posts from you!
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