[Palmsandsun]

There we are again… after 180 days of GF I have had a HUGE fall back. In one month I lost 500 euro’s again, while I am just a poor student with a very high student debt.
nAfter quitting gambling I got my life back.. My finances got better and actually got to spend money on fun things.
nI was so happy and the outside world noticed it. I found a really nice girl and I have a relation ship with her now.
nSo WHY? Why did I have to gamble again? I hate myself for it. I thought it would just be once or twice.. but I couldn’t stop. I don’t have it under control. I can think like: “Today I will definitely not gamble” and 15 minutes later I’m pressing the button on slots again.
nAn overload with guilt , especially to my girlfriend. We could have done so many nice things from that money. I think the main reason for me to gamble is chasing losses. Or when I feel sad.
n
nSO it’s time to quit again. Now really. Last time I was able to quit because of promises I made to myself. If I gamble once more from now on.. I will tell my family about my problem.
nI already told my best friends how serious it is, I also asked them to take action if I gamble from now on. I will be active in quitting, this will be my diary for the coming 2 months. I believe that after 2 months it becomes a little bit easier.
nThere is still time to turn this around. I am still out of debt on my bank account, I actually have more money than I have ever had in 2 years. It would be ashame to throw that all away.
nMy debt to the government is now 40000. It makes me sick.. but I don’t have to borrow money from them anymore. I have enough now as a buffer and I have a job. I will work hard and I can turn this around.
nPlease I hope this works out 🙁 .
n
nI hope you all are doing fine. I will post updates here once in a while.
n

[G Rec]

Welcome to the forum Palmsandsun.

I was in a similar position to you timing wise about 2 months ago, having a relapse after a decent spell gamble free. The good thing is that you have recognized you need to take action and are taking steps to do that.

I would really recommend checking out the new member’s practical advice groups held on Mondays and Thursdays, I found those very useful.

You mentioned being worried about throwing away the money that you do currently have. To help with this, you could consider having someone you trust temporarily be responsible for your funds where you still decide when and what you spend your money on but all spend has to go through that person. If that isn’t an option or something you are comfortable with, making sure you are accountable for your spending is a good alternative, i.e. provide someone you trust with visibility of where you are spending your money.

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