19 August 2010 at 12:34 am #16778martinloonParticipant
ok here goes. have denied this for five years. i have a massive gambling problem and have most likely lost everyone and everthing in my life. sat on sunday and watched the golf had a player backed and was set to win enough pay everyone off and start my life again. he came second. monday went in to bookmakers and did a ridiculous bet that could never come in. The last horse lost the other six had won. again it would have paid my debts easily. and today i got two tips for horses but i decided after sunday and monday i had enough, i was out of this maddness. the two horses won at massive prices ( I swear this is true), if i was doing my normal bets i would have again won my way out. 2 reasons i didnt. no1 im broke + no2 i was just angry after the other two days and said no. So here i am. My head melted with thoughts about how close i came to getting out. This should have been the best day of my life in five years instead its the worst. but something tells me i will never get properly "OUT" until i do this. please tell me thats the case. and please tell me i wont go back searching for the big win i always wanted but destroyed myself in searcing for for the past ten years. Fear i lost everyone and everything. Just fear the future. What am i?
19 August 2010 at 1:46 am #16779paul315Participant
Originally posted by Martinloon
… i have a massive gambling problem …
… My head melted with thoughts about how close i came to getting out. This should have been the best day of my life in five years instead its the worst. …
… please tell me i wont go back searching for the big win …
… What am i?
Good evening Martin, welcome to GT. My name is Larry and I am a compulsive Gambler, my last bet was August 13, 2009.
Your story is a repeat of many of the stories here, we have all experienced the things that you have, we have all shared in your losses, pain, and fears; you are not alone. Your last question, "What am I?". is answered in your opening statement, from your own descriptions, you are a compulsive gambler. A person overpowered by one of the most baffling, insidious, compulsive addiction that plagues us.
Your other question does not have a quick answer; you can not be told that you will not go back searching for the big win. However, I can tell you that this can be the best day of your life, and not the worst; and that if had won that big dream, you would have gambled it all away – it is the nature of the beast to chase the bigger wins and the losses. You coming here can be the start of your recovery that can help control the outcome of your return for the big win – the gamblers fantasy dream.
Start reading the post and searching for ways to limit your opportunities to gamble and restrict you access to funds. Ban yourself from the bookmakers, stop cash advances on your credit cards, have someone take control of your money; gambling took control of it, now give that control to someone you can trust. Visit the group sessions and chat rooms here, and get in touch with the Help Line; do something positive, take action. Keep coming back and you will be able to get "OUT".
God’s speed, use your higher Power to strengthen and guide you.Larry"Day Two Is Another Day Behind" – With the help of a Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, I will continue to be gambling free.
19 August 2010 at 1:48 am #16780gloria mParticipant
You don’t say where you are located but I am assuming you are in the UK because of the bookies but I usually guess wrong. You came to a good place. I came here and was glad I came. One of the first things I did was sign up for online councilling. I went back to Gambler’s Anonymous. I read and posted alot. I went to group therapy. You have already did step one – admitted that you are powerless over gambling and that your life has become unmanageable. It sounds like you are ready to accept help. It is time you start facing the fact that you are not going to win yourself a good life and get out of the **** that you have created being a compulsive gambler. A lot of people will tell you to turn your finances over to someone you trust, ban yourself from the casinos or bookies and get to meetings. I haven’t found any miracle cures for this as it is a lifelong disease that can never be cured and YOU CAN EVEN BE ******** if things get bad enough. I should know as I spent 150 days in work release because I thought I could use money that wasn’t mine to get myself out of the trouble I made for myself. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.Winning a jackpot will never be life changing, but gambling compulsively is for me.
19 August 2010 at 2:39 am #16781irc49Participant
All those So called BAD BEATS as gamblers refer to them as the shoulda woulda coulda ALL happened to me over my gambling carreer as recently as may -june 2010 –it’s the powers that over see this sinfull stuff not nesecarily a higher power so to speak but SOMETHING –$8000 exacta beat a nose on and on mind changes on winners for huge amounts something prevents it at certain worse ***** stopping is TRULY the only true way out i hope we both get there martin and stay thats all i can say but i do believe what i just typed!!!! Keep posting and chatting 21 days tommorow 1 day 2 a time guy.how can i quit?
19 August 2010 at 6:17 am #16782DuncKeymaster
Hi Martin, A Warm Welcome to Gambling Therapy
Having found us you have also found a diverse community who can help and support you on your recovery journey.
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and non-judgemental environment and by reading others stories am sure you will see that you are very much not alone in this addiction
Please click here to see our services page, feel free to use all that this site can offer…
To chat with others in real time you may wish to make use of the support groups, the ***** of these groups are advertised under "What’s on and When" or click here to see the weekly group schedule.
For one to one chat you may want to try the live advice helpline. Click "connect" when these options become available.
Also to say when you registered we would have sent you an email with an attachment, this attachment will help you navigate the site and find the support you so rightly deserve, alternatively this guide can be downloaded by clicking here.
Harry"Occasionally its wise to doubt our doubts, to question our questions, and to re-think our thoughts."
23 August 2010 at 6:15 pm #16783colin in brumParticipant
Hi Martin and welcome to the forum. "What am I?" Well it sounds to me like you are a compulsive gambler. If you are in any doubt of that then check out the 20 questions they have on the GA site.
I was like you, i broke into my brother house once and you can imagine the strain that put on family relations! Later in recovery he was best man at my wedding – whatever bridges you have burned you CAN rebuild them.
I believe you when you say those 2 horses would have won – i also know it wouldnt matter a ****. We all had our wins – would just mean we took longer to lose it back again.
Make NOW your rock bottom and NOW while you are feeling **** start putting things in place. Get yourself banned from those bookies, put thing sin place so you CANT access your money to gamble when you do get funds back. Check out your local GA meeti9ng. Its important to do these things NOW coz the pain will fade, the ureges will return and that when you need things alreaady in place. keep posting and let us know what positive steps you are taking.
27 August 2010 at 8:56 pm #16784pParticipant
Hi trying to keep you newbies to the front page, keep going and keep posting.. you can do it one day at a time
P – Living and Learning
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