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    • #27284

      Sitting here writing this in a very distressed state , I’m gritting my teeth and tensing every muscle in my body, why do I keep doing this why, this is no life , I m so desperate to get that win it doesn’t happen I keep taking ridiculous choices , getting myself deeper trouble , it’s. Been a horrendous month in all ways , I’ve gone back to gambling I’ve been very down and anxious and beside myself .
      All the good work has vanished , from having time away from gambling I have gone back on self destruction and started a the behaviour of my previous past .
      I feel physically I’ll and am
      Extremely angry and agitated I felt the only way to express how I feel us to write here .
      Online gambling on my phone has got out if hand betting on tennis and football , spending all day watching radius and desperate to win , I’ve struggled to hold a job down all I think about is gambling , I wake up to bet , I feel a walkjng zombie , drugged up by the gambling if that makes sense, I was doing so well so why have a dive this again , I no why I wanted to ruin everything , and what started off just gambling has now affected my heAlth now the way I approach my day , I no one thing the return to gambling this time has had more dramatic effects than in the past , no enjoyment , certainly how i feel now I wouldn’t wish. On anyone , I’m at rock bottom and I need help , I feel lost as I’ve been in treatment already befire , Is this it , I want a life but sometimes i think
      It would be less painful if I wasn’t here , I would hurt less people and u wouldn’t have to feel how I feel right now , I honestly have given up I don’t leave the flat , I’ve got no purpose and if I had miney I could get hold of I would have a bet . That’s crazy but am just been honest .

    • #27285

      Hello Wizefox, i’m sorry to hear of your situation i have been there many times myself, don’t despair because you can get yourself back on track just hang on in there and take it one day at a time , one hour at a time if needs be. We all have relapses it’s how we deal with them that matters , your at rock bottom now so you can only go one way and that’s up . Micky.

    • #27286

      Gambling is a progressive disease Wizefox. Every time we go back after a break, the problem escalates faster and more seriously until the damage seems irreparable.
      I know what you mean when you say gambling makes you ill. It has wrecked my health as well as my finances. The stress and anxiety created by gambling wears off in time but it can have long term effects.
      Do you need to see your GP and maybe take some time off work until your head clears?
      It seems as if you are in shock right now but things will improve. Don’t lose hope!

    • #27287

      Hi Wisefox, well done on writing your feelings and seeking support. Most of us on here have felt as you do right now..In shock and disbelief about what we have done. It might be an idea to put a gambling block on your phone straight away.

      All the good work has not vanished wise fox. You hAve experience of freedom from gambling, you know that you have done it before and can again and you also know his quickly life an return to normal.
      U know the drill! Force yourself to get strong barriers in place and start again!! You will do it this time Wisefox!!

    • #27288

      Sorry the helpline is causing me issues…. The group will open at 11:30 and a session between you and Dave H has been set for 15:45 to 16:15

    • #27289

      Hi Wize Fox. You can do this. Use all the support you can, apply all the tools you have. If the gambling on your phone is too much of a temptation at the moment then use that knowledge – get a new phone! One that just makes calls and texts for now. keep posting.

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