29 June 2023 at 10:12 am #178223ryanp55Participant
My name is Ryan and I am 21 years old. I unfortunately discovered gambling at an early age in the form of poker. After playing throughout high school with friends, my habits worsened. I was playing online and in person for a good amount of the money I was bringing in doing the various jobs you do as a teenager. Between graduation of high school and now my habits seemed to spiral. I often used credit cards to play and started to find myself struggling to pay them off in a timely manner as I was spending so much gambling. In my two years at college and even to now (hopefully not for long) I don’t think I ever had my cards fully paid off. Last year around this time I shared with my family, who had a hunch, about my habits. It was amazing to have people close to me who supported me 100%. They helped me pay off my debts, which I still owe them to this day and is a large source of guilt for me. Unfortunately the story doesn’t end there. After a couple of months of not gambling I found myself yet again at a poker table. Every time I won I wanted to play more, to see how much more there was to win, and every time I ended up leaving with nothing. I never seemed to be able to stop myself once I started. This problem persists to this day, however I hope that this is the first step to freedom from this terrible addiction. For context on my current situation, one of the biggest factors in my relapse, I believe, is the fact that I am traveling more than half the year and living in hotels for my new (dream) job. I have been home for 3 weeks this year and being away from the life I knew and my family is starting to take a toll. I often times find myself with nothing to do in my hotel room and somehow it always leads to gambling. I recently informed my family of my relapse and yet again they fully support me in my journey to coming clean. I have been told to reach out for help by them and this is the best way given my circumstances that I think to do so. The extreme guilt and the fear of losing my family or even my job over something that CAN be overcome is overwhelming. All I know is that I am blessed to recognize my problem when I have, before it destroys my relationships and opportunities that may come with my youth and I pray that I can overcome this before it destroys me any further.
I plan on looking into other threads and resources, however I felt the need to share my story with people who may be or may have overcome the same thing I am dealing with now and may have some insight on what my first steps should be. I’m not sure what I really am looking for when it comes to recovery but I’m open to anything. I think if I could find some sort of online support group or connect with others online it could be a great first step. If anyone has any advice on my situation and where to start my journey I would be so thankful for any feedback.
Thank you for taking the time to read about my story and I would love to respond to any feedback or questions I may receive!
29 June 2023 at 10:14 am #178235AntonioModerator
Welcome here and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums.
Giving up gambling is not easy and because of that having some extra help and trying different routes can be helpful.
Here at Gambling Therapy, we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum, you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum, so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group on Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
The Gambling Therapy Team
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