29 July 2017 at 8:57 am #5840lilyParticipant
Things change so I thought it was time for a new thread…..
I have been privileged to of spent the last 6 months of my life with the man I have loved for 18 years and see him in true recovery. To see the man I always knew was in there under the gambling flourish and grow, to be on the receiving end of his kindness and love. To see a person so willing to change and keep at it for 8 years, having many falls but always picking himself up, To see that someone with this horrible addiction can find a way through. That was all down to him, he kept at it, I had to walk away 7 years ago for the sake of my child and for my own recovery from co-dependency. so what a gift he returned to me and I got to see him for who he truly is, an amazing, strong, determined and loving person. How special it was to share the results of our separate recoveries and reconnect.
After a recent trip to see him and spend time with his Mum who I adore, I came home feeling we were unshakable. Maybe I was taking what we had for granted, maybe I was moving too fast as on my return we got into an argument over advice he had asked for but then not acted upon. I gave the advice out of love and concern as I felt he was potentially endangering his place of work and his home by inviting someone in who was not in the same place as him. It was not because he is a CG, it would have been the same advice I would of given to anyone I cared about. I reacted very emotionally to my advice seemly being ignored, I was scared for him, for what he had worked so hard for. He reacted badly to my reaction and we ended up deciding to go our separate ways.
Love doesn’t stop because something has ended but hey life always goes on. I have my wonderful son to care for and my inspirational sister who has terminal cancer to spend quality time with. I have many good things in my life and plenty to live for, think about and work on. I will survive and I will continue to work on my own recovery and remaining strong not just for my child but for me. What happened is sad but it will not shake my recovery because that is up to and down to me and in the same way I do not believe it will shake my partners as that rests with him, as it always has.
I believe no one can fix another person, you can walk along side each other but ultimately together or apart you are each on your own path. Recovery for anyone has a start (usually before you realised it started) but it doesn’t have an end, it is, like life, an ongoing journey. there is only ever today and is why the best advice is always one day at a time. Lily x29 July 2017 at 4:34 pm #5841veraParticipant
Do we always act on the advice we are given, Lily?
I usually do the opposite!! It’s difficult to say “I was wrong!”
Relationships ebb and flow.
Let’s hope yours’ will take up where it left off in due course.
Taking time out to cool off won’t do any harm.
Time is a great healer.
Yes, Life goes on.29 July 2017 at 6:28 pm #5842lilyParticipant
Yes you are right of course Vera and I do understand that about advice. Thank you for your wise words x
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