[hopefaithlove]

Kudos to your site. Of all that i’ve gone through, this one is the most supportive, real, welcoming and hopeful.
Here’s my story.
We’ve been together for more than 10 years. We had the perfect relationship, we loved each other so much, we made each other laugh, we thought that we could be anything we could. I couldn’t be happier.The future was bright. We were slowly building our lives and careers, waiting for the time when we can afford to finally settle down, get married and live together.
Fast forward to years later. We’ve both built our careers After years and years of being together, the love just grew. Couldn’t imagine myself with anyone else in the future. For me he was the perfect partner, loving, supportive, stable. Or so I thought. I just recently found out that he’d gambled away all his life savings with a huge debt on top of it. He’s been borrowing thousands of dollars from me, saying it was for the business, but I found out that it was all funneled into his gambling.
Everything started to fall into place then, why we couldn’t afford to get married, buy a house, build a future, considering I thought we were doing really well.
He promised that he’d start over. His family helped him out of his huuuge debt, and they’ll still be paying for it years and years from now.. He promised he’ll stop. He attended a few GA meetings and therapy.
A few months later, he returned to gambling. The money loaned by his company to finance the business, the earnings that they were supposed to get, the savings that they already had. Gone. ALL OF IT and MORE.
I love him dearly. I can’t leave him at a time like this. He’s so depressed and broken and I can see it, because he relapsed. But I said the last time that this happened that if he does this again, that was it. We were breaking up, coz I couldn’t build a future and family w/ someone who can’t be trusted at all.
I love him so much, and I want to help him get better. I’m afraid if I leave him to keep my word, it might break him further, he just might give up. but i’m afraid that if i don’t leave, it will break me.
I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid of what he’ll do if I leave. He was diagnosed before with clinical depression. I don’t know what he would do. But I’m afraid of what will happen if I stay. I love him so much and I want to be there to help him through these tough times. But I don’t know if I should stay,and risk everything repeating when there is more at stake, when we already have kids and bigger responsibilities. I want to keep on believing that he’ll get better, I want to tell him that I’m not giving up on him. I want to tell him that I believe that he’ll get better, but if I leave him now, that will totally negate whatever I say.
I can’t imagine meeting another person that is as good or as kind or as happy as he makes me feel when I’m with him. But im afraid that it’ll eventually run out, leaving me to hate him for all the lies and the pain that he’s putting me and all his loved ones through. Help. i am so confused right now.

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