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    • #30118
      maria5551
      Participant

      Hi I’m new here and really don’t know where else to turn. I have been gambling for about 5 years now and stopped a few times but started again about a year ago and its completely out of control again. A little about me I’m a single mum of 3 boys ages 16,11, and 7. My eldest is autistic and my youngest is autistic and has ADHD. I suffer from various disabilities myself and am housebound a lot of the time. My problem is with online slots I can spend anything up to £2000 a month doing this. I will wait up until midnight the night I’m due to be paid and as soon as my money hits my bank account I start playing. I have got myself into major debt doing this. I just got paid £580 at midnight and have spent £480 in an hour on the slots. I feel so ashamed of myself wasting money that I could be spending on my kids I mean what sort of a mother am I to do that. I always have to tell my kids no when they ask for stuff even a £1 ice cream as I have spent all our money on slots. I’m sick of it I’m sick of this life I’m sick of always saying no and I’m sick of feeling like the worst mum in the world. I desperately need help to stop doing this I have been reading the Allan Carr easyway to stop gambling but it’s not stopped me gambling. I don’t know where else to turn I can’t go on like this xxx

    • #30119
      Fritz
      Participant

      I am so sorry to hear of your trouble. It is awful when you are out of control and so remorseful. Is there any way you can get someone to take control of your finances for a while? When it is such an ingrained habit you really need some help or it is quite likely to continue. Also try the helpline here, and group chats, they are great. You are not alone, take care and hang on, have faith.

    • #30120
      velvet
      Moderator

      <

      Hello Maria and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team


      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
      privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #30121
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Hi Maria You can buy a gambling block for your computer or get someone else to fit k9. This way you will be a me to use for computer for everything except gambling .

      We done for coming here and seeking support. You are nota terrible mum… But you do have an addiction.. We all do on here.
      You can download k9 for free. Is there anyone who can set the password for u ?

      This is the start of your recovery and a better life for you and your kids

    • #30122
      I_Maverick
      Participant

      Hi Maria,

      Well done for finding help on this site. It is something I wish I had done last year before I lost everything.

      I can only reiterate what they others said. You MUST block yourself from online use using something like K9 which you can set to block ALL gambling sites. Can you get a family member or friend to help you manage the finances. Are you able to get childcare for free for an evening so you could go to GA?

      Stay here on this site, it works. Since coming here after 3 years of pretty much non stop gambling, which has resulted in my wife leaving and taking my young child and the loss of my business, I have now been gamble free 25 days today, which is the longest I have ever gone without a bet. If I didn’t have to deal with the fact I only stopped when I broke everything, I would be in a much better place. But that’s how we do it as addicted gamblers – we often don’t stop until there is nothing left. I Hope you don’t do that. Imagine the worst thing that would happen that hasn’t happened. Know that it WILL happen if you don’t stop gambling. That is what I didn’t do. Please, for your children’s sake.

      I send you all my love and strength. Say to yourself every morning:

      Just for today… I will not Gamble.

      You only need to not gamble one day at a time.

    • #30123
      charlster2
      Participant

      Hi Maria,

      I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through with everything you have on your plate at the moment. You’ve done a great thing by simply visiting this site, the help and support available here will be invaluable to you.

      I’ve just installed the K9 blocking software on my computer. As mentioned, it’s free and you will need to set a password. There’s no use you setting a password that you’ll remember as you’ll be able to uninstall the programme. Ask a friend or family member to install it for you and to keep the password from you at all costs.

      I can relate to you when you say that you stay up until the money is credited into your bank account, I’ve done that thousand’s of times. I’m not an expert Maria, but just reading your brief account of your situation, you’re probably using gambling to escape other situations and when the gambling sessions stop, or when you’ve lost all you can, the reality of your actions kick in and that is when your mood plummets to the depths of despair.

      Please stay with this site and use the helpline. It’s strictly confidential and will help you enormously and the rest of the site you can use to interact with people that understand what you’re going through, something that is hard to find in everyday life.

      You are a fantastic mother who needs help yourself and you’ve made the first steps to finding that help.

      I wish you all the best, things will seem dark now, but there are better days ahead, we all just need help and guidance towards those happier times.

      Take care,

      Charlster.

    • #30124
      maria5551
      Participant

      Hi I have k9 on my computer and my son has the password but I am still able to gamble using the kindle and I can’t find any blocking software that works on the kindle. My son tried putting a password on my kindle for me so I had to ask him every time I wanted to use it and he could see what I was going on but I worked out how to change it without having to go through him xxx

    • #30125
      maria5551
      Participant

      Thank you all for your replies I have a good friend who knows I have a problem but doesn’t know I have started up again. I could give her my card the problem is I know all the details on my card by heart including the long 16 digit card number so can easily go online and gamble. I can’t put blocking software on my kindle believe me I have tried. In the past I have had great success with blocking software it stopped me completely for over a year and I got over it. I started again kidding myself I could handle it and just have the occasional play but who was I kidding. My son has cottoned on to the fact I have a problem and really wants to help me but he really shouldn’t have to cope with this sort of stuff at 11 years old. I have just had a thought I could get him to do the main parental control password on the kindles that way I wouldn’t be able to change the kindle pin code and gamble I would only be able to use my kindle when he is home and he can keep an eye on what I’m going on. He is a very mature 11 year old but I still feel like this is way to much to ask of him xxx

    • #30126
      charles
      Moderator

      Hi Maria,
      Good idea about getting a parental control on your kindle.

      You could still get your friend to help you with that card. if you report it lost or damaged you will get a new card with a new 3 digit security code on the back, give it to your friend and don’t learn it.

      Keep posting and let us know the positive steps you are taking.

    • #30127
      charlster2
      Participant

      Your son sounds like a very mature young man. I’m sure the fact that he can help out makes him feel good.

      He’ll reap the rewards by having more quality time with you and you with him.

      Keep us posted on your progress when you can.

      All the very best,

      Charlster.

    • #30128
      jansdad
      Participant

      That must be one amazing kid. Kids mature must faster than we give them credit for. Especially if circumstances warrant it.

      I wrote a post once here how to install K9 without the help of others, let me know if you want me to look for it. I wouldn’t know about the Kindle though.

      About kidding ourselves, yes, that’s what we do best. I haven’t gambled for almost two months, didn’t have urges till couple of days ago when I thought I could play a poker tournament and see how it goes. Luckily a friend talked me out of it.
      We’re never safe, we’ll never be non-gamblers. 🙁

    • #30129
      p
      Participant

      I hope that your day is going ok.. are you aware that there are groups here you can come to chat in, they are a wonderful support sometimes and there is one on one advisors too..
      Do you have GA meetings in your area, or counselling.. grabbing on to as much support as possible is really helpful in this addiction because it gets pretty strong at times..
      Its nice your family is with you on this.. hope to see more of your posts.. and just for this day dont gamble

      P

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