22 May 2015 at 11:07 pm #30402Kurt12Participant
It’s my first time posting on here.
Spoke to Gam care earlier after spending £2000 holiday savings in Ladbrokes, borrowing £1000 from a friend and then losing that aswel.
Thought I would post on here to see where it takes me….
The money I lost today was just the tip of the iceberg. I would guess that I have probably lost £50,000 in the 7 years since I first visited a casino on my 18th birthday.
My brain has always told me that I am going to win it back or that everything will work out but I think I am on the cusp of losing it! I think today I snapped because I lose all my money and then struggled to buy dinner. God only knows how I’ll last until pay day. Money is valuable when your in a shop and I hate being ripped off, so how can I think it’s acceptable to through £100s of pounds down the drain in a few seconds.
I need help, I need counselling, I need to speak to someone who has been through the problems and come out the other side!
24 May 2015 at 3:15 am #30403lauren05Participant
We’ve all been there but I’ve been doing it for over 20 years or more. I stopped counting. We have to learn that we will never win from gambling and that our only win is from NOT gambling. It destroys and changes you as a person but it totally controls you and you keep chasing your losses. You have to forget about your losses and decide to stop and take one day at a time.
I’ve got no money till pay day. I gambled all my March salary and a month’s bonus the very day it got paid into my account. I felt so sick with the guilt and remorse and worthless feelings that accompanies losing. But I couldn’t stop. I cannot stop and need support from here. Enough is never enough. Even when I win, I will gamble for a bigger win till I lose everything.
But all that guilt, remorse and pain from March was soon gone and forgotten when I received my work expense money which got paid to pay my company card. That demon came back to entice me and whispered that I would win this time and made those urges seem attractive with a nice win. He tempted me to just play with £100 but once I played the £100, it turned to £200 till all was gone and I was again broke. That was a week ago.
I’ve been on here ever since and been gamble free but only because I don’t have any money to gamble. But I am determined and focused and with the support I have on here will not gamble one cent of my salary this month.
When you get the urge, get up and go for a walk. Try to delay it and tell yourself in an hour’s time, then an hour later, till the urge eventually gets less and less. Decide not to gamble and go with your mind and not your feelings or the voices in you head.
Keep posting on here. Write about how you’re feeling, what you’re doing to fill your time so you don’t gamble and overcome those feelings and focus on your recovery one hour, one day at a time.
Stay focused and strong.
All the best.
24 May 2015 at 8:51 pm #30404kpatParticipant
My journal starts out very similar to yours. I believe there is hope.
I think you are right to seek some help. Staying quiet and trying to handle this gambling problem by yourself is probably not going to change much of anything. I recommend reading the posts here and putting some orr all of the advice in to practice. I don’t know what your area of gambling is, but I know that when it gets to the point of pain, we have to change something. There is chat line that I believe a live counselor can speak to you.
Please keep posting. There is help to be found here!
25 May 2015 at 6:19 pm #30405charlesModerator
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
The Gambling Therapy Team
25 May 2015 at 6:25 pm #30406charlesModerator
Hi Kurt, well done on looking for help.
When you spoke to Gamcare did you ask them about the counselling they give?
There is a lot of help here in the UK, Gamcare, here, Gamblers Anonymous, counselling and more.
I am sure you will be reading the other stories here? You will see the success stories – what has worked for others that you can apply to your own situation?
Where do you gambler? get yourself barred? Accountability helps – is there someone you trust who could help with that?
Keep posting, hopefully see you in a group here soon as well.
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