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    • #51584
      RecoveringCG2019
      Participant

      Hi guys,

      First i want to share about my gambling habit,started about 10 years ago, became compulsive, lost everything, quit.

      Then started new business venture about 4 years ago,made some money then relapsed, lost everything, quit again

      Saved some money then relapsed again about 6 months ago.

      In short lost total about usd 400k in 10 years gambling

      Now i’ve decide to quit once and for all,but still find it hard to come to terms with total loss

      Now if i have about usd 350k in savings should i make a final bet one last bet of my life maybe 150-200k in 1 sport game and then whatever the result quit for life.

    • #51585
      RecoveringCG2019
      Participant

      Actually i was inspired by the movie the gambler, final scene when he bet everything, one last bet

    • #51586
      charles
      Moderator

      The best advice when in a hole is stop digging. If you won you would carry on gambling. If you lost then it would be even harder to come to terms with. Check out the 20 questions on the Gamblers Anonymous website, they might help you make your decision

    • #51587
      RecoveringCG2019
      Participant

      Hi

      Thanks for your advice, did the 20 questions and answered yes to 14 qs, thing is i know if incontinue gambling i’ll lose everything and end up in a deeper hole

      Thats why i’m thinking of spending only about 60% of my current savings on final big bet and whatever the result quit for life

      Goal is only to reduce total loss to an acceptable amount and that would be enough.

    • #51588
      charles
      Moderator

      Yes. But I’m sure you “quit for good” 10 years ago, then “quit for good” 4 years ago. Read the other stories here, maybe actually get to GA. This is just your addiction justifying it’s next bet.

    • #51589
      Meghna83
      Participant

      Putting that much money at risk is not worth It. Think of all the things you could do with thAt money.

      ask your reasonable self if it will make you any happier. Think about how you will feel if/when you lose again. 

    • #51590
      RecoveringCG2019
      Participant

      Yes meghna i think i’ll quit and not make that final bet

      I’m glad i came here before making the bet

      Thanks

    • #51591
      RecoveringCG2019
      Participant

      Yes you’re right

      Your words just knocked some sense to my head

      Im glad i came here before making that final bet

      Thanks

    • #51592
      RecoveringCG2019
      Participant

      Yes you’re right

      Your words just knocked some sense to my head

      Im glad i came here before making that final bet

      Thanks

    • #51593
      brucey
      Participant

      You’re kidding yourself if you think you will stop if you win that big bet. Of course you won’t, you’ll think you’re still at an overall loss, so you need to do it again. And when you break even will you quit? No, the disease will tell you more, come on, do it again, you deserve compensation for the years of stress, so let’s go again. Let’s do more ridiculous bets. If you are up overall is it enough? No, you’ve tasted the easy money, which is what hooked you in the first place, when it all started… except once you’ve tasted 6 figure bets, now all your bets need to be a lot bigger.. and everything you get you will put back in immediately. We can’t walk away, despite what the disease wants you to believe, that’s why we’re in this situation.

      The first win is the worst thing to ever happen to a CG. Every subsequent ‘win’ caused the bets to go higher, the problem to get worse, the hooks to dig deeper. I no longer bet, because I fear winning. Winning damaged me more than any loss ever did.

      Honestly you sound like you’re still within the grips of the disease… deep inside, are you actually ready to admit defeat? Or will that only happen after you’ve lost another 350k savings (and more) on the infinite chasing of ‘wins’.. which are actually temporary loans that you soon give back to them?

    • #51594
      RecoveringCG2019
      Participant

      I made a hypothetical bet last night and the team that i picked actually won
      I think if they lost it would really put my mind to stop betting again for life
      Now i’m tempted to make that final big bet again, damn

    • #51595
      Dark Energy
      Participant

      you are fighting the urge of gambling, all the logic in the world is tilling you this is an insane Idea and it will lead for more losses, i was in your shoes i have lost a total of 200,000$ half of it loans and credit card, it costs me that much until I reached to a rock bottom, and to figure out I have a gambling addiction, you don’t have to do the same.

      you don’t have to go that far, you are here surrounded with all these stories of people faced exactly what you are facing now, and there is only two results (either to stop and start over your life or to gamble and lose it all ), go through this website read the stories and compare what they went through to what you are going through. 

      If you need a better ending than 90% of the stories in this website stop right now if you need to continue then you will lose all what you have.

      it is simple as  brucey said if you win you will continue gambling because of the euphoria, if you lose you will continue gambling chasing your loses. No way out until you lose all your money, and all the money that you can get ( loans, family …etc).

      I am reading your postes and i am really ungrey I am seeing my self 5 years ago and I am trying to explain to “the young me”  (you) that you don’t have to go throgh all the suffering, all the hard time, wasting money and wasting years of your life, losing money frindes and every thing, you don’t have to reach that far to realise that you have and addiction and you need to stop and start over.

      finally, i know you may accept and understand what every one in this forum is traying to tell you, but at this stage you may not understand the fact that inspite of I and almost every one here can give a lecture about how to treat and how to deal with the gambling addiction inspite of that many of us is relapsing from time to time. you should be aware that you can’t fight it alone and you should understand this as early as possible, don’t deppend only in your willpower “it is not enough”.

      the drug is the money so keep it away from you, get some one from your family to be involved to control your access to the money, build a stratigies to prevent you from gambling if your willpower failed you, and don’t under estimate your self if the gambling urge started your brain will work 100% to break your prevention stratiges so build it well whn you are in control so when the gambling addiction take the control you will be ready to fight back.

      again please stop, and take action to grantee that you will stop.

    • #51596
      RecoveringCG2019
      Participant

      Hi darkenergy

      Thanks for advice, you’re right i’ ve been fighting off temptation to bet another match for past 24 hours.

      Been reading stories from the web and even bought a book from kindle easy way to stop gambling by Allen Carr. Hopefully by the time finish this book i’ll be cured.

      Anyway i havent make a bet but still tempted,looking at odds online.

      I dont have the courage to tell my family about this yet but thanks for suggesting to keep money away.

      I think i’ll transfer savings to my wife for now.

      Still hurts by the way thinking how much money was lost, what that lost money can buy for my family and how stupid i was to relapse and make the same mistake. Although this time didnt blow away everything like last time but still hurts.

      Hope everything is well for you too

    • #51597
      Dark Energy
      Participant

      i read that book, it is a good one, but he is focusing on the cognitive part ( why gambling is wrong, why you should stop, and trying to convince you that you have the power to stop ..etc).
      i am trying to let you understand that if you depend only on yourself ,your willpower it may work, but with a good prevention strategies you will be at a better situation, if you involve a family member you will be at a much better situation.

      don’t keep the load only on your brain to fight the addiction.
      your brain is now burning you have part of it is pushing you to gamble and the other part is pushing you not to gamble.
      don’t keep the fight only inside your brain, do some steps to help the good part of your brain to win.

      i will give you example from my last relapse, before 3 weeks i have relapsed, let me walk you through what happened, for a 4 months i have been free of gambling and as you get away from the gambling the money will come back, i have built a strategy to keep the money away by sending all the extra money to joint account with a family member, and i have closed all the credit and debit card so there is no way to transfer the money to the online brokers to start trading( gambling), during a 4 months period i had no temptation since there is no extra money with me.

      then i broke some rules of my stratigy, I convinced myself that i need a prepaid card to pay some online bills, so i get one, so i become closer to relapse, i have the card but still i need the money. 4 or 5 weeks back the money came and instead of sending it to the joint account i kept 2500$ “as a backup with me” now i am very close to relapse it is only my willpower between me and relapse, guess what I was fighting the urge for 10 days may brain was on fire for 10 days and it ends up by relapse. lost the 2500$ and another 2000$. then i stopped you know why? because there is no extra money that i have access to , if I had an access to 50,000$ i could’ve lost it all.

      I am really wondering, if my addictive brain was behind all of this from the day that i get the prepaid card to the day that i kept the extra money to the day where my brain said enough i am barning for the last 10 days and regardless to the result i will but this 2500$ to the trading account at least the fire will come down.

      you know that you have to stop now you should ask the how question and try to find the best solution for you.

    • #51598
      RecoveringCG2019
      Participant

      I think its easy to refeain oneself from betting now that we’re in hole with little savings left
      But what about few years down when we have more savings, thats the real test

    • #51599
      dunc
      Participant

      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #51600
      RecoveringCG2019
      Participant

      Ok so after about 24 hrs gamble free,mind battling back and forth,keep checking those odds online,finally i gave in.
      Made a $5000 bet and lost. After those hypothetical bets i won and the one that i actually bet on lost.
      Felt like i let myself and everyone here down.
      I was actually on the brink of making a 20-30k bet on that one game ,luckily i hesitated.
      So finaly I think i ‘m going to put the idea of making that one last big bet to get even a rest once and for all.
      Going to close online bet accounts and transfer my savings to my wife and kids account.
      Also I think I need to find new interests in life, to keep myself busy and not think of gambling
      Hard part is my interest has always been in sports.
      Come to think about it I think I just realised gambling has negative impact on my love for sports.
      Now i’m scared to watch football match, scared that I will be tempted to make a bet.

    • #51601
      dev777
      Participant

      I did almost the same thing on Thursday. Discovered an online casino, won about $1100 in one week. Lost it all in 20 mins plus an extra $250. Chased my loss by making a last bet with $700 just 6 hours later after creating an account here. Lost it.
      Don’t make hypothetical bets, they are the worst. They give you false hope and then you lose your money when you bet for real. Close all your online betting accounts and delete your search history

    • #51602
      charles
      Moderator

      Hi again, it’s really importan that you plan your time. Find non gambling interests. it is also relly important not to do the hypothetical gambling. Do’t look at ods. if you can’t watch sports without being tempted to gamble then, for now at least, don’t watch sports. You will find out whether you are truly a sports fan, or a fan of betting on sports.

      What happens a few years down the line when we have more savings? Well that largely depends on what you do now. If you find those other interests, if you pu the financial accountability in place and keep it in place, if when you have those extra savings you are stioll posting here, maybe geting to GA every week then you are more likely to remain gamble free.

      Have you transferred those savings to your wife yet? Does she know why? Are you accountable for your other money?

      Keep posting and let us know the positive steps you are taking.

    • #51603
      RecoveringCG2019
      Participant

      Ok guys, back here after 2 months
      Guess what I’ve been doing?yes back gambling
      So after reading books on CG i still decided to play one last bet
      And I made 1 bet on sports Parlay and guess what?I WON around USD 120k, that was 2 months ago.
      Quit for few days, so happy, went travelling with family then went back gambling and won around 50K in 1 week.
      So my total gambling loss came down to just below 200k, from initial 400k, quite content but couldnt stop. Kept telling myself maybe now can finally break even then quit.
      Anyways kept gambling,few wins few losses and then just this past 2 weeks lost 300k.
      So total accumukated loss is now 500k.
      Feel dark and hopeless, now even have to sell few assets to settle.
      Hopefully now I can really stop for good.

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