[drumnamona]

Hi ,I dont know if this will help anyone but here is my story.
I have gambled all my life, from fruit machines when i was a young kid to horses and bookies as i grew. Every day for 31 years or so i would bet if i had any money and torture myself with imaginary bets when i didnt. I spent hours looking at form and odds most days, neglecting relationships and work. I went through more jobs than i could count, mainly bar jobs where i would steal money to bet. I would bet my food money and would go days without eating.
When i look back at my late teens and early twenties the core memory is of crushing lonelyness and being hungry and skint. I moved to London when i was 18 to look for work, which i found easily enough and i didnt go home for four years as i couldnt get the fare together because of gambling. One year i had the money together and the ticket bought when i lost it all in a bookies in tooting bec. That was 25 years ago and i can still remember the crushing collapse as i chased a loss into the ground. I stayed in my bedsit and went hungry.
I could tell 1000s of stories like that and much worse but i would only depress my self and anyone who reads this.
I moved back to Ireland and continued to bet constantly although i was earning well. I even opened my own bookies in a seaside village and layed a book at the tracks as my father had. That went predicatably.
I took action starting with self excluding from all the online accounts i had, but i still used the bookies when i got the chance. One day last november, i cleaned a chimney in the snow, three stories up. I got paid 35 euro and went to a bookies and put it on a horse. That was the last bet i ever had and ever will.
I cant remember the first horse and i cant remember the name of the last horse i backed but i know this i will never backed another. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
DanThe only way to get the devil to fold is to look him in the eye

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