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  • #2040
    dream maker

    My name is Lee.  I am married to a gambling addict.  I have not told my story to another soul yet.  I have tried to confide in a few good friends but the details are locked up so tight inside that I am afraid I will come completely undone once I unlock that door.  So I live a very lonley life right now.  I put on a show to my co workers and friends but I truly am experiencing a living nightmare.  We went to Vegas with some friends about 6 years ago.  Neither my husband or I had ever set foot in a casino, but that was the start of it.  I suspect that my husbands addiction really started about 3 years ago.  He was self employed so he had lots of freedom and of course had access to lots of money.  In a nut shell, he always claimed that cheques from his employers bounced or that he hadn’t been paid etc etc. I knew he was going to the casino but not the full extenet of it until about 18 months ago.  One night he was coming home late from the casino, which he had been at all day, he was stopped by the police and failed a breathalizer test and lost his licence for 3 months, vehicle was impounded for 1 week and he was stuck at home. At this point I realized the severity of the situation.  There wasn’t much work in our area and he was subsequently jobless for the next year.  The bills started piling up and our lives realy started falling apart.  Since that time we have lost our house and his truck and I discovered he borrowwed about $200 000 from friends and acquaintances and of course he no longer has a business. I have had a bailiff come to my house for my car and countless people come to my door with yet a nother tale of borrowwed money.  We currently have 3 small court claims against us and another person is threatening to garnish both of our wages.  Ther hardest part for me is that I am being named in all of these claims and most of them I only found out about in the last few months.  I am afraid to answer the door and pick up the mail.  All I want to do is retreat to my bedroom and pull the covers over my head.   At this point he has gone to a few meetings but is not ready to admit to his addiction.  I have been trying to hold it together for our 4 children but recently realized that I can’t do this anymore. I wish I could say we are trying to rebuild our lives as a couple but until he comes to grips with his addiction, we are still on a downhill path.  My husband has gone away to work and makes a really good income but he is not putting a plan in place for repayment of the debts.  Truly I believe he is hoping for some kind of windfall to deal with the debt and he will continue on his merry gambling way.  He keeps borrowing money from the children and I feel that I need to tell them the truth but how can I if he won’t admit it.  I have tried for 2 years to address the gambling but since he is a non communicator he just gets mad and stops talking to me and then I fear he will start drinking or worse.  Of course drinking is probably as much an addiction as the gambling.  I do love my husband and want to keep my family together but I think I am jeopardizing my health by staying in this situation.  THe anxiety and fear are eating me up.  It is such a lonley life right now but I can’t even confide in anyone because I don’t even know what is true anymore and I think my friends are starting to see right through me.  I feel so ashamed that I have believed the lies for so long and am just trying to get the strenght and courage to move on.I'm still standing.

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