23 July 2011 at 7:13 am #2532linda38Participant
I’m still around and I still read the post. Well here goes again!! Things have been going really well and we were all looking forward to our time off work, especially me as I’m off for 6 weeks. A couple of weeks ago we went for drink at the local pub. My CG decided to go on the bandit something he doesn’t usually do if I’m with him!! ( I’m sure he’s gone on them when I’m not there) he knows I hate them with a passion although they were not his thing, casino was. But as I still see them as a gambling outlet he would not go on them. Anyway this particular night he did go on it and lost £100 as you can imagine I was angry, upset etc. We got home and talked about what he had done. Anyway I was worried this would be the start of a cycle I only know too well. I expected him to go online to gamble as he’s excluded from the local casinos!! Anyway during the week I got a text from him as I was at work and he told me he had been gambling online. For the 1st time ever he was totally honest with me! I didn’t have to sneak about trying to find out!! He also stopped himself before he lost everything which again is a 1st. But for me it’s not about that it’s about the gambling, if I’m honest I wish he had lost everything!! He told me he was depressed down etc from been so stupid to go on the bandit and lose the £100. I’m so mixed up as I said next time he gamble I would leave him thats why I said I wish he’d lost the lot as it would have been so much easier to leave!! If I’m honest he hasn’t lost anything because he stopped himself!! I have seen his bank acc and the online acc as of course I didn’t believe him!! I have told him that he is still only in the house because of our little boy as he’s such a daddy’s boy and it would devastate him if his daddy wasn’t here. But for me the fact he has been honest with me for the 1st time is a massive step for him. I haven’t told him this!
yes I still had his cards but he’s knows his bank card number!! I have put a block on the pc although ge doesn’t know yet!! He went 6 months without gambling and for the 1st time he has started to look on this site. I noticed he has also got his books out from when he went to GA. I was hoping that maybe next year we might have got married but not now!! I dont think that will ever happen now!! As my best friend said she thinks he will always be this and if I’m honest with myself I think shes right! I think it’s a matter if time before im on my own with my children
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