7 March 2023 at 2:21 pm #172647
Hi! I am new to this program. I was addicted to playing slots on online websites. I was a breadwinner and was always very independent. I always try to be the most reliable one esp. financially in our family despite me being the youngest. My family knew I was gambling, but they thought that I was fully in control of it. They were very confident since I’d never done something that will put me in trouble before. I didn’t really want to admit that I was addicted to gambling but I realized that there was no other way but to accept my flaw, to admit to myself that I formed this addiction. I’ve lost 3 years of savings and now am piled up with debts. I feel so powerless without money, honestly. As I was always the independent one, I didn’t want to share the problems of my addiction with my family. Until the day came when my salary can’t cover my billing statements anymore and decided to admit everything to my mom. I bowled my eyes out as I was telling her. She couldn’t believe it either, and it rips my heart to see her face as she was so puzzled about what I just said. I felt disappointed in myself, and I decided to become the person I was again before I got into gambling. As of the moment I’ve blocked all the sites I might come across, but to be honest I still imagine slots in my mind earlier today. I pray to God to keep me strong-willed to end this addiction and not have relapses. I will keep posting to divert y attention until the day comes that gambling and slots won’t even come near my head.
8 March 2023 at 1:42 pm #172690
Today is payday! The urge to gamble reeks all over the place. But, as I opened my bank account online, there was a huge amount of money to be paid early next month waving at me. It’s more than 3 months of my full paycheck and that’s not the only debt I have now. It’s a bad thing to see such an amount pressing me to its due date, but I am thankful I saw that. I suddenly came to my senses; it reminded me how much gambling ruined me. I started opening up to people I love about my addiction as well so there will be people motivating me to this new path I want to take. It’s crazy thinking about how I can pay all these debts I have now, but what’s important for now is to keep my focus on this goal of beating this addiction. I’m also looking for another job to help me pay off my loans. I was inspired by a story I’ve read here in a journal. I forgot his name, but his story was marked in my head. He’s someone I’m looking up to right now. I want to be as dedicated as him. I pray that I, no we, will be successful as well in recovering.
8 March 2023 at 10:56 pm #172709velvetModerator
Hello Shashinick and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
The Gambling Therapy Team
9 March 2023 at 2:26 pm #172737
3rd daaaay!!! OMG!! OMG!! I opened a website!!!! But, I didn’t play. As I opened it, I quickly thought of the debts I have to pay. Then I closed the site and blocked it. It’s quite hard since the urge will pop out of nowhere. But, I gotta be strong. We gotta be strong until the urge vanishes. I always pray to God to give me more strength for this battle. I’ll make it out of this. I know. Somedaay.. Sooon.. <3
11 March 2023 at 2:12 pm #172849
I gave in to the temptation, so I’m basically back to one. AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. I didn’t think that relapses are even more serious.
I’ll try again though. I should really stop, or I’ll be ruining my self. 🙁
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.