24 December 2012 at 2:54 am #11818
I hurt my children and the man I love. My car is probably going to be repossessed and I am sitting here on the waiting for him to tell me if we are going to try to stay together or not. I would give anything to be able to take it all back but instead I know I will have to face the consequences of my actions. On the upside today I have no desire to go to the casino. Not that I have any money left, but even if I did, I wouldn’t want to go. Self loathing at an all time high. I will make this work!1 January 2013 at 6:48 am #11819
Happy New Year everyone. I’m excited to see what a year of no gambling will bring. I made it through day 8 and I will do the same with day 9. It has been at ***** very hard but I know it will continue to get easier because I want to make this change. My resolution is to stay away from excuses and keep moving forward. Good luck and good wishes to you all, thanks for helping to make this easier. Hope to attend my first GA meeting tonight if it isn’t cancelled because of the holiday. Good night
I will make this work!1 January 2013 at 7:02 am #11820chubbycatParticipant
Hi not so stupid girl
Sorry but i dont think your name suits you because you dont come across as stupid, in fact you come across as smart because anyone who tries to better themselves and enters recovery is smart. Congrats on your days and keep them going one day at a time.
I hope you love your GA meeting
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday1 January 2013 at 7:58 pm #11821
Today they Repo’d my car. Happy New Year. I knew it was coming but it still makes me sad. It is a tangeble consequences of my actions.
I will make this work!1 January 2013 at 9:26 pm #11822desdemonaParticipant
Dear (((SG)))! I’m sorry to hear that you have had two significant losses so close to each other. First losing your dog and now having your car repossessed. It’s important to feel and express the grief attached to these events, and then to move on. You will make recovery work for you, and who knows what wonderful things 2013 holds for you, as you live gamble free. Carole1 January 2013 at 9:55 pm #11823razzabelleParticipant
Dear SG….First HUGE HUGS and Love from PA. Love & Prayers to your cherished Doggy; who is now running across those beautiful fields in "The Happy Hunting Grounds"….SG, this disease is HORRIBLE…Like I said before; it takes, takes.takes, and gives NOTHING back. I am THRILLED that you blacklisted yourself! My Boss has offered to go with me, when I do..so I am going to talk to him tomorrow when back to work. My what COURAGE & STRENGTH it took for YOU! You are probably a lot STRONGER then even you realize. About the car; oh NO. I am behind in my payment (didn’t make December yet) and that is one of my fears. I don’t know what to say to you, for I would be very lost without my car as the public transportation here in my part of PA is a real nightmare. The only words of comfort I can offer you over your car situation are from my heart. SG, the car is metal, rubber, ect…YOU are FLESH, BLOOD, REAL! Thank God above, that you didn’t completely LOSE YOURSELF! Show your hubby some of these posts; this disease is the DEVIL HIMSELF….Sit down with him; make him see that by blacklisting yourself you mean business. I just loved your post about sending a photo of your paperwork to your ex, and he cried. BEAUTIFUL. I am praying and thinking of you SG. PS: I agree that "Stupid" does NOT describe YOU. I am thinking of you as my fellow CG Angel<3 from Oklahoma……MUCH LOVE! *** Razz You Get What You Give1 January 2013 at 11:31 pm #11824
Down today, just a little raw but no money and wouldnt gamble if I had any. Would like to crawl in bed and zone out for a couple days though1 January 2013 at 11:49 pm #11825
I was also really excited about the first GA meeting. I wanted a sponsor that was close enough to call and meet with when I am feeling down, like today, I have support from the ex and some of the few friends I have told but they aren’t CG’s so while I’m grateful for the support they don’t really get it. Having a bit of a pitty party right now, but I will have transportation after tomorrow so I’ll go to the GA meeting next Tuesday if I can get someone to pinch hit for me with the kids. I am still focused and driven though because no matter how sorry I feel for myself today it’s not as bad as gambling makes me feel.
@ Razz- thanks for the words of encouragement I needed them. I will make this work!2 January 2013 at 3:14 am #11826bettieParticipant
So so sorry about your car. Is it too late to make any arrangement to get it back?
I know we all have to make out own mistakes but there for the Grace of God go I. I was behind on both my car and my mortgage when I found GT in Feb 2010.
When you do go to your first GA meeting I would suggest you get a chance to know a few prople before asking for a sponser. They will give you a phone list and please use it. They also have a presure relief session that I would ask for right away. It can help you with financial issues and help you make a plan to manage money and pay off creditors.
Just remember if you are like most CG’s you want everything fixed-YESTERDAY! It’s called the patience of a cg. I know it all seems dark right now but believe me it will get better. I know sometimes i just have to learn all my lessions the hard way, and sometimes God really kicks my *ss hard because thats what it takes to get my attention.
((sg))!! I’m right hear rooting for you!
bettie2 January 2013 at 3:51 am #11827
Betty, thanks for the advice. I’m sure my outlook will be better tomorrow. Just a bad day. On the upside thank God I didn’t have any money and day 9 is in the bag.
I will make this work!2 January 2013 at 5:35 am #11828sherry123Participant
Congratulations on day 9! And congratulations on having support from the ex and a few friends. Hopefully Lee will come around when he sees you’re working at recovery and honest with him again. I do know that people don’t get it. I asked my husband for help, got a safe where he had the key but after a couple of weeks he thought everything was good and hung the key up where I could see it. He didn’t understand that I really needed his help. That’s too bad about your car. Not gambling will help your finances quicker than you would think and I hope you can get yourself an inexpensive car soon. Hang in there. Sherry3 January 2013 at 12:30 am #11829desdemonaParticipant
Dear (((SG)))! I would look into Bettie’s suggestion about whether there is any way you can make financial arrangements to get your car back. Bettie is a wizard when it comes to things like that, due to her occupation. When there seems to be no way to do something, Bettie has a way that others haven’t thought about, or seems impossible to do. I had to laugh about what Sherry posted because my husband would have done the same thing. They just don’t get it! Congratulations on every single one of your gamble free days. Carole3 January 2013 at 1:34 am #11830
Day 10 down. The kids are with the ex and Lee is out of town, came home to an empty house. The ex brought half my child support. I paid a bill, put a little gas in the truck I’m driving, bought cigarettes and a mt. Dew so I could be sure not to have any cash on hand tonight when I knew I’d be on my own. So even though I’m bored I made sure I couldn’t gamble. Probably go to be early. This would have been the time 11 days ago when I couldn’t wait to get to the casino, so I suppose that’s something. I will make this work!3 January 2013 at 3:43 am #11831bettieParticipant
Glad you have some kind of transportation. Getting rid of money is a great barrier. My daughter manages the paychecks for her bf-he is an addict. She buys him gas cards that can not be used for other things. I did read somewhere about a debit card that can be loaded with cash but can’t be used at a casino or bar. Good management skills for those of us who have no other person who can manage their cash.
No cash=no gamble.
Do you have a library? Free entertainment. Recovery books, dvd’s. There are a lot of free things that can be fun. I had no money when my daughter was growing up. I lived with my sister-we were both divorced with girls 18 months apart. We scraped up money for a family pass for swimming and went almost every day. We also made an adventure of going to different parks and the girls loved it.
Another good source for recovery books is ebay. Goodwill lists them for flat fee-around 4-5 dollars. I good investment in recovery. Anything by Melodie Beatty is always good.
bettie3 January 2013 at 4:41 am #11832gamblingvictim13yearsParticipant
You Can Do THIS!!!!! Even if You and Lee don’t work out, you’ll be great!!!!! All of the people who love you, Real and On-line will support you!!!! Your Kids and I love you unconditionally!!!! Signed her ex….
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