[hetty]

I am new to this forum and have been finding my way around, reading all the forum posts has helped me in facing my own problems.
I have now not gambled for 7days which in itself is a Big achievement for me.
Gambling has been my “therapy” I have hit the porkies when I didn’t want to think, when my anxiety had become to high, I got to admit though that lately this has changed and I get anxiety if I don’t gamble.
I decided about a month ago that this is it, it’s time for me to change..my bets was getting higher and higher, and I used to blow around $400 a few times per week, and at times even more always huge amounts of money.
Noticed while being on antidepressants that the way I gambled has totally changed before I used to go and there was limits, now there is none..or rather if there is no more money the limit has been reached!
I have handed over my bank cards to my fiancé and asked him to withdraw my spending money, something he is fine with and god bless him he doesn’t pressure me to talk about things til I’m ready.
Going to use this to my advantage as I also noticed that if I dont have at least $200 i feel it’s “no point in going”.
It’s been a rough week but today things feel better no “Must gamble” anxiety has been around. I am extremely lucky in one way, I have not yet blown my economy, my bills and loans always has been paid on time but and here is a big but I noticed how gambling started to be more important then the weekly grocery shop.
It’s funny how the cg brain works, I felt bad over spending $200 on grocerys but spending $400 at one sitting at the club…NOT ONE PROBLEM.
Thank you for listening and what do you guys here at the forum do to keep your brain when the urge hit you to gamble?
You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see, But you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel.

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