I guess it’s the same for both, each one has to be willing to break that cycle, and that often means taking a very big step back and being able to stand still long enough to recognise our own cycle as well as the cycle of those we think we’re supporting.
The difficulty for me was that it took me years to work out that I was a part of his cycle and he was also part of mine.
If anybody knew that addiction would be the consequence of innocently gambling, there wouldn’t be a need for a site such as this.
I think you are doing well taking control of your boyfriend’s finances and your boyfriend is lucky to have you on his side.
You cannot save you boyfriend, only he can do that but you can and indeed, you are, supporting him in a healthy way.
I suggest that you download the 20-questions from the Gamblers Anonymous website and ask him to look at them. He is possibly unaware that what he is doing has the power to ruin not only his life but the lives of all those he loves.
I am bringing up my thread entitled ‘The F&F Cycle’ which if hope will help you see the way the addiction goes round and how those who love them can get caught in the loop.
Looking after yourself is incredibly important, if you allow his addiction to control your life then you will be unable to help anybody, so keep your other friendships alive and invest in hobbies and interests that are not gambling related.
It would be great if you could join our live group where we can communicate in real time. Unfortunately I cannot run a group this Thursday so the next one is next Tuesday 30th January between 22.00 -23.00 hours UK time – you will be very welcome.