[houston.i.have.a.problem]

Today i took the first steps to recovery and self excluded myself from The Star. It felt good. It felt right!
I have suffered from compulive gambling longer than i realised. I have tortured myself with this horrible addiction too many times. I have left myself broke, angry and wollowed in self pitty for way too long. I realsize, finally, that this is a problem that I can and will overcome. I am sick of the shame and lies that come with this addiction. I need to be strong and i need to believe that i can do this. Barring myself from the Casino is a big step. At least i dont have the carrot dangling in front of my nose any more. Well not the casino carrot anyway. My next step is to expand on my exclusion list in pubs and clubs and make gambling as hard for myself as humanly possible.
Over the last 6 months my entire world has turned upside down. I lost everything. Everything but my family and close friends. I am lucky i still have them and i count my blessings every day. My losses are not due to gambling alone but gambling has played a major role in my hitting rock bottom. It has held me back from recovery and it has introduced me to feelings of self hate and thoughts of self harm. Although these are just thoughts at the moment, it still scares me that i even have these thoughts going through my head. I am determined to get on top of this while they are just thoughts. If i continue to gamble excessively i am scared my mental state may just be compromised enough to turn these thoughts in to actions. I lost a dear friend nearly a year ago to suicide. At the time i could not fathom how he could have done such a thing but lately my thoughts have shown me just how easy it is to feel so down that your sense of worth is next to nothing. Don’t get me wrong, i am not suicidal but i have often found myself thinking thatvinwould be better off deceased than to feel how i feel after i have had a gambling binge. (I love and miss you Sami :-()
I have suffered addiction problems for the most part of my life. I have experienced addiction to almost everything possible but to be honest i find gambling to be the worst of them all. It is so destructive on so many levels. Yo me it is evil! It sucks me in, chews me up and spits me out with nothing, not a cent and not an ounce of dignity.
Today however, i take a stand! I refuse to lose my self worth and i refuse to let this beat me!
Houston, I admit that I have a problem!

[Dunc]

Hi H.I.H.A.P, A Warm Welcome to Gambling Therapy
Having found us you have also found a diverse community who can help and support you on your recovery journey.
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and non-judgemental environment and by reading others stories am sure you will see that you are very much not alone in this addiction
Please click here to see our services page, feel free to use all that this site can offer…
To chat with others in real time you may wish to make use of the support groups, the ***** of these groups are advertised under "What’s on and When" or click here to see the weekly group schedule.
For one to one chat you may want to try the live advice helpline. Click "connect" when these options become available.
Also to say when you registered we would have sent you an email with an attachment, this attachment will help you navigate the site and find the support you so rightly deserve, alternatively this guide can be downloaded by clicking here.  
Take Care
Harry
25 year poker player, 25 year Hierarchal fool, 25 year ego boost…  Intellectualisation was my down fall, simplicity was my salvation

[Author]

Posts