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12 March 2014 at 2:02 pm #25172thewizefoxParticipant
the journey into a new year and my recovery continues, i have had a tough few weeks, almost a time when i thought lets hit the destruction button, however a strong will to keep things how they have been and not to ruin all the hard work up to this point won.
I had a set back with my health and this restricted me in my daily routine , i also had to leave job which i was gutted about, this is a great excuse to a gambler to set off in the path of mass destruction, oh yes feel sorry for me, blame others, of course if i do hit that button i could justify it , or …., think long and hard about what position you are really in and deal with it in the right manner, take a step back , speak to someone let them no your concerns, perhaps its not as bad as you think.
That what i did, im fairly happy with the situation now and feel like i have made progress there alone, if i was prone to go back down the route of gambling and self destruction then this was the time to do it and i didnt, which makes me proud of the process i took to eleviate this from coming on top of me, i dont see how i can ever go back to the old life and the shit and hassle and hurt that it causes not just me but others, i want a life as normal as i can, i no im not perfect and can improve other aspects of me and it will take time, rome was bult in a day, recovery isnt achieved in a day.
I came out of rehab and too be honest had pretty much doubted myself from the day i left, i couldnt cope with life and my gambling was still high on the priorities, it was my coping mechanism to cope with anxiety and the stresses of the last ten years.
Now when i look back today i wake up i feel a better man and have hope for the future, i have been trying to get myself well from the gambling addiction for 11 years, previously doing rehab before my second atempt in october 2012- feb 2013, i can say that that the experience in london has had a positive influence on me and has changed my life somewhat today, i no i have to stay focused and not think of a return to misery has to happen.
Patterns of behaviour can become almost and addiction in their own right as you feel that you must punish yourself as things cant always be normal.
i hope anyone affected by gambling always kn ows that we can change and get better, its affected me emmensley not just mentally but physically as well, i was knocked for six, no confidence no friends, no self esteem, very shy and very messed up individual.
anyone who experiences a life of gambling will no that there is one way to change their life and that is to admit you cannot gamble and that you need professional help, but you must want it yourself, not be forced as you may as well not bother attempting if its not what you really want.xxx ross hardy gordon moody october 2012- feb 2013
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12 March 2014 at 4:06 pm #25173janey1Participant
Your comment “i hope anyone affected by gambling always knows that we can change and get better” will give hope to a lot of our members Wizefox. Thank you so much for sharing your progress.
Janey
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13 March 2014 at 8:07 pm #25174charlesModerator
Great post wizefox, thank you.
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