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    • #29773

      I am indeed a roulette gambler. I just do not see the point in gambling on anything else. Horse racing, poker, sports betting just seem so dull and boring. I have been doing this for nearly 8 years now and as you can imagine I have got to the point where if I was to deposit £250 on an online session, this would seem small. When in comparison if i was to spend £30 on something that I would actually benefit from then I would definitely give it a second thought. Only when I lost the money would I feel guilty and think what essentials I could have spent it on.

      Although I have had some very very low times which included a huge loss of my monthly wage in the space of about 20 minutes and a very bad attempt to suicide, I have been able to keep myself out of a large amount of debt the whole time but what I have lost is considerably more.

      See what I found was that after x amount of years playing on the flashy lights in the bookies (FTOB machines) it changed me. My moods would be dependent on whether I won or I lost. So if i was in a bad mood I would have to cover this up when I got home from work (at the time I was only gambling during my time at work. I was working out on the roads and had access to 4-5 bookies within 5 minute radius) I believe this was the reason for the break up of my marriage. I actually walked out on my wife and kids because we could not communicate anymore. She had found out about my betting as one day following a loss I felt so guilty I called her and confessed. In hindsight it’s probably the worst thing I could have done,she would not have noticed the loss but following my confession she never trusted me again. Everything around me apart from my kids just seemed so dull. I would constantly think of lucky/trending numbers and this would separate me from what is actually going on in the real world.

      Right now I am living on my own. I have a new partner and my kids spend 40% of their life with me. I rent a 2 bed flat and even though I earn decent money, rent, tax,bills and CSA means I barely make ends meet. On the plus side of things this means that I absolutely cannot afford to gamble and I have not gambled for over 2 months now, I do feel like If I had not have started gambling on roulette then I would still be married and with my kids 24/7. This is the price I have paid for 8 years of Roulette.

      This is only a small fraction of my life gambling and I have many more experiences but this is the starting point for myself to get all of this off my chest as I don’t really have any friends that I can talk to about this. I am not looking for any answers, or advice, I just wish to share my experience, hear other peoples and maybe connect with some people in a similar position.

    • #29774


      Hello Danny and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
      privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #29775

      Hi Danny and welcome to the forum.

      Well done on your 2 months gamble free time. have you been using support to get to this point? As you can see from the other stories here you aren’t alone with this problem so you don’t have to deal with it on your own either.

      I hope reading the other stories here helps. Maybe check out your local GA meeting as well, then you would have a lot of people you could talk to about your recovery.

      Apologies if you didn’t want advice but I felt that a good honest post deserved a response.

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