[K]

Hi everyone,

Earlier this year my wife discovered my gambling debt and addiction issues. Long story short we were able to move forward with some barriers in place but the trust in our otherwise amazing relationship was fractured. Fast forward 3 months and I had been free from sports gambling until a relapse early in November. For anybody in the same boat, I made two major mistakes. The first was to believe that I could control my gambling habits. I’m privileged to have a wife and family who were willing to be there for me and follow up with me routinely, which leads to my second mistake. I didn’t lean on them and use them as a support to try and get through this struggle. If you are lucky enough to have anybody in your life who can be there for you in that way, please use them.

Well in terms of my second mistake, I’m here to get that additional support and use the resources available to me. This is my day #1 in what I plan to make many days.

If anyone has questions please ask and let’s chat about it.

Cheers!

[K]

Day 2 is nearly complete. The wounds with my family are still fresh so its been difficult to make any head way with my wife. She is obviously and visibly upset and disappointed with the entire situation.

I’m confident that I can stay away from gambling and truly believe that it can happen as long as I take advantage of the resources available to me. Calling a counsellor tomorrow, which is a step in the right direction.

It was football Sunday and usually a time where I am on my phone more often. Tried to avoid that today. Occupied some time getting back into chess, inspired by The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix. I recommend people watch. Among other things it does deal with substance abuse.

[K]

Day 3 and the work week is here so that usually helps keep the mind off things, less a distraction from gambling and more a distraction for feeling shitty in putting my wife in a bad position. Reached out to a local counsellor for addiction services in my hometown so we’ll see how that goes, but I imagine it cant do anything but help. Looking forward to the chat to be honest.

[sunny]

Keep it going K. Remember have faith in yourself that you can do it and you are never alone!

Stay strong and motivated! 🙂

Sunny

[G Rec]

Welcome to the forum K, and well done it sounds like you are taking some very positive steps by recognizing support is needed and reaching out to get some, and putting barriers in place.

If you haven’t already done so, I would recommend checking out the new member’s practical advice forums that are held on Mondays and Thursdays.

And thanks for the Queens Gambit recommendation, I agree it is a great show, I have also started getting back into Chess a bit more since watching it.

[K]

Thanks for the kind words @sunny and @G Rec!

Yea really miss playing actually, glad ive gotten back into it. Other then that, just trying to re-establish some normalcy in the day to day activities at home. Its getting better day by day but obviously just a drop in the bucket in ultimately earning my families trust back.

[K]

Day 5 in the books. Relatively straightforward day. Just trying to continue keeping myself occupied during down time. I don’t think boredom/downtime is a real trigger for me. Not sure if anyone games but Cyberpunk 2077 launched today so I’m expecting that to be kind of a time sink. Otherwise, not much has changed in the first week.

[charles]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

• This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by Dunc.

[K]

Thanks Charles,

Appreciate the support and I agree. I think writing it down gives a sense of continuity. The weekend is coming up, plan to definitely spend some quality time with my wife and keep working on mending that trust portion of our relationship. We’ll be able to have some 1 on 1 time which will definitely be helpful. Its taking time, but day by day things are turning for the better in that aspect.

I haven’t had any urge to really look or play in any sense. Just taking it day by day and excited to keep moving forward.

[sunny]

HI K,

Its good to see you making the effort on planning to spend quality time on mending your Rs with your wife.

Take it day by day and stay motivated to be on GF journey! 🙂

Sunny

[K]

Appreciate the kind words @sunny.
I got a call back from a counsellor in my area. Hopefully can be in touch for a 1 on 1 sometime next week. Looking forward to having a conversation with a professional. Not sure what to expect to be honest. Another small step in the right direction.

[K]

Over a week in and into day 8 today. I have my first meeting with a counsellor scheduled for this coming Wednesday. Things are slowly returning to normal around the house, but I realize that it’s just on the surface. There is a lot of work to be done on my end to earn my family’s trust back.

[sunny]

Hi K. Its a good start and well done coming past a week to be GF. Keep working on it! With perserverence i believe you can do it on working a lot more around with your family.

Importantly do not give up. Be strong always, remember your family ahead of all. 🙂

Sunny

[K]

I’m off work for the holidays now which is great. Going to definitely enjoy some time to myself during the day for the week. Focused on the holidays and Christmas shopping and supporting my wife while she finishes up the last week of work for herself.

Another day in the works.

[K]

Day 11 complete. I’m feeling pretty good mentally. Enjoying the time off from work, trying to keep busy. My area has gone back under lockdown for COVID which is a bummer. Things worked well in the warmer months when going outside on a routine basis was an option. Just trying not to be stationary these days.

Have my first meeting with the counsellor in the afternoon. Interested to be a part of that conversation for sure. Actually kind of looking forward to it now.

[Author]

Posts