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    jayson
    Participant

    The brain is always ticking, looking at others thoughts reading others here….i recently heard some1 say, GA is the only way followed by if you do not attend meetings you are not in recovery. To me i find this very small minded and i guess tuneel vision. My idea of recovery is everyone is different so what may work for one may not for another.Im not saying GA didnt help me as it did,but i choose not to go back,but some commenting that im not in recovery because i dont is not right.GT helps me stay of the bet, i admire the structure of the rooms, how they are controlled and worked between every single person that enters them. Ive never actually said this cause im shy ! But looking back over my time here, i have an appoligy to make to a certain facilitator, for being darn right rude, annoying, and personal, at the time i had bad experiance of councillers and i was quick to judge all are the same!
    I now realize they are not of course, and enjoy my time here it keeps me from gambleing.
    The following sentance is copied and pasted…….
    “”One main barrier that I hope everyone has in place is attending GA meetings. The only place I hear what I need to hear is in a GA meeting. At least once a week I am reminded that if I stop going to meetings I will eventually gamble””
    I do not beleive this to be true, as i have talked to CG who have never been.
    My recovery works for me now, my work has been done, ive set my exclusions in place, i carry lil cash as possible when not working….and the missis takes my money off me.
    I dont want to work at recovery or do the just for todays or the 12 steps….i spent many years where gambleing controlled my life, i dont want to spend another 20 years being controlled by recovery. Instead i want to live my life and spend time with my family and freinds…i rember before…carnt go out because ive spent up betting that for me cannot change into, i carmnt go out cause im in recovery and must go to a meet.
    Sorry to rant on , just wanted it of me old ruggerd chest !
    Happy recovery all and remeber a smile goes along way, i was dam misrable gambleing i aint gonna be now !
    Clowns and Circus Masters….A Clown wears a mask to hide their true selfs…The circus Master rules all !
    I’m still decideing who i am.
    Love JayJay x– 11/22/2011 10:02:35 PM: post edited by jayson.

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