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  • #3409
    velvet
    Moderator

     

    I am sorry that this Thursday’s group has proved inaccessible – unfortunately this is a server problem and is therefore out of my control.

    Hopefully normal service will be resumed asap.

    Velvet

    #3410
    charles
    Moderator

    For anyone who couldn’t connect with Velvet this evening I’m just letting you know there is a Drop in group currently open. I got in and opened it okay and while someone else had a little trouble getting in they did make it in the end. Anyway, I’m here drinking a cuppa and anyone is welcome to join me.

    #3411
    Lu
    Participant

    Thanks for advising the support group was not working.
    It was 3am in my time zone and I randomly woke up and thought I would enter to chat… glad it was not me!
    I love this website and read it every day since discovering it a month ago. It helps me somewhat to know I am not the only one that is experiencing such heartache. I know my husband must admit he has a gambling addiction in order for him to be the beautiful person he is and not treat me with such disrespect and verbal abuse. I have done all I can do to help him and know he must help himself. I separated from him and moved in with our 2 young children to my parents home in the hope he would realise the extent of the problem. However after almost 3 months nothing has changed. He has moments where he is apologetic but then reverts to blaming me and denial. I tell him if he wants to blame me he can as I realise it is his addiction and he tells me he is not addicted. Despite all I have and am enduring I would go back to him if only he could admit the full extent of his problem and start treating me like a loving husband. It is so sad dealing with his mood swings ie angry and cruel one day then apologetic the next.

    #3412
    velvet
    Moderator

    Hi Lu
    I am so sorry not to have had the chance to talk with you in real time and I hope you will have another go. I wonder if the groups on Tuesdays at 22.00 hours UK time might be better for you – if I have worked it out correctly it will be around 8am for you on Wednesdays.
    You have already taken a big step in your relationship with your husband and it would be great to be able to support you further – it is so hard dealing with the addiction to gamble on your own.
    To start your own thread, scroll to the bottom of the F&F page, click on ‘New Topic’, give your thread a title, write your post in the box and click ‘Save’- as you have seen already there are other members ready and willing to walk with you and support you. It is great to read other threads but your post will receive the individual support that ‘you’ deserve.
    Knowledge of the addiction to gamble does help you cope. You are right to believe that control of the addiction can only begin to come about with acceptance but also with acceptance must come action. I don’t know how far you have got with your reading but I suggest clicking on ‘Resources’ at the top of this page, then click on Gamblers Anonymous International Directory, click on the link and then on ’20 questions’ and maybe print them off. There is no guarantee that your husband will respond well to seeing these questions but sometimes CGs (compulsive gamblers) are not aware that they have a recognised addiction or that there is help for them.
    I understand why you are telling him to blame you if he wants to do so – but please be aware that you know that you are not to blame.
    I hope you do start you own thread and that we may ‘talk’ in real time soon. You are definitely not alone.
    Velvet

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