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I used to blame my mom for why I struggle with addictions (in a way I know I still do.) I’ve been stuggling with this gambling addiction for about 2 years now. I’ve blew all of our savings, lied to get money, borrowed from family & friends and never paid then back, used up all of my paycheck on the exact day I got paid, contemplated suicide multiple times, wallowed in self pity and shame, tried quitting multiple times and I continue to fail everytime. The thing is that where I live, there is no help for gambling addiction. I would need to fly to another state. I don’t have that kind of money. My husband continues to standby me, even though I know how much it hurts him. I know he feels like I’m doing this on purpose because I know how much it hurts him and yet I continue to do it. I have distanced myself from my family because of the shame and they are more judgemental as opposed to compassionate (even though my mom sturggled with a severe drug addiction for years) All I have is my husband and my inlaws (they do not know I have this problem.) To make matters worse, we just found out that my father in law has stage 4 pancreatic cancer and it’s spread so fast that they are saying he won’t make it to the end of the month. He is the matriach of the family. I know my husband is taking this extremely hard but he hides it. So my addiction is just another added stress to his life. I need to stop this nonsense and get right. I want to be able to support my husband my our family and be someone he knows he can trust again.
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Hi nkalei and welcome. Firstly my apologies, it shouldn’t have taken this long to welcome you to the forum.
I am sorry to hear about your father – in – law.
With regards your gambling you can stop I promise you. Read the other stories here – you will read a lot that you will relate to. You will also see the success stories and the sorts of thigns that will help you stop gambling.
When it cxomes to support you now have this forum. We also have live groups and even a 1 – 1 Helpline. Check this link as well, I don’t know your geography but there do seem to be GA meetigns in pretty much every State in USA.
https://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/locations
They also have a link for zoom meetings etc. Support has never been as accessible and it is important to use it. To put it bluntly, if we could do it on our own then none of us would be here in the first place.
Keep posting and let us know the positive steps ypou are taking. Hopefully i will see you in a group here soon as well
The things that will help you stop gambling, and help rebuild trust with your husband arent any words, promises or even intentions. It is actions that count.
Where do you usually gamble? If it is online then you can exclude yourself from the sites you use. There are blockers you can instal which will stop you signing up at others. You lose your paycheck as soon as you get paid? Then I am sire your husband will be delighted to help and have it paid into his account. We both know that no money = no gambling so we can use that in recovery.
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