23 January 2013 at 4:01 am #11336
I made it 30 days since I have gambled. I thought today would feel different but it didn’t seem like a big deal to anyone but me. I am proud of myself. Thank you to everyone on this forum who supported and helped me. I pledge not to gamble tomorrow, even though it is my first official pay day.
I will make this work!3 February 2013 at 7:59 pm #11337
This weekend I banned myself from the only other group of casinos in driving distance. What was cool is that these casinos offer you the option of banning permanently. Whereas the other you can only ban for 10 years. It was scary though to check the box that meant forever but I did it. I was proud. I will make this work!3 February 2013 at 8:07 pm #11338kathrynParticipant
You should be proud!
As Sherry has said, be careful with large amouts of cash, its just not worth your recovery.
Well done on your ban, smile today because you have done something just for you!!!
Love K xxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan3 February 2013 at 8:36 pm #11339icandothisParticipant
Wow, SG! Great step forward! Good for you! Do something nice for yourself to celebrate. You deserve it!11 February 2013 at 8:27 am #11340
Haven’t posted in a while, I have been busy with life. Still going strong and gamble free. I lost my dream job in September, which started my downward spiral (this time anyway). I have been working a temporary job since October which was a huge cut in pay, not to mention what it took to acclimate from being a big fish in my friend to an underling. Was grateful for the job but concerned about a long term plan. This week an opportunity to go back into my field (journalism) basically fell in my lap. I will be making only slightly less than what I made before and I get to do what I love. I’m nervous but determined to make it work. I start next Monday. I was discussing my addiction with Lee this weekend. He still doesn’t grasp how I could let casino’s take over my life but I hope he will someday. One of the things that I said to him was ghat when this journey started I did it for him. To show him how sorry I was and because I never wanted to have to hurt him by ***** again. But now after almost two months it’s not about him but about me and what I want for my life and for my future regardless of what it holds. I have been through **** and have worked too hard to give this up. That thought helps me when I get the urge (and believe me I still do). I’m glad I have barriers in place and intend to keep them there, but also I am more confident in myself and my desire to never go back to where I was. I haven’t actually counted the days in a while but I will soon as I know that two month mark approaches. I hope that everyone is doing well. Much love to this site, I’ll work on posting more because I want to remain vigilant in my focus an my recovery. I don’t want to get lax regarding how easy it would be to slip. Have a great week.
I will make this work!11 February 2013 at 12:40 pm #11341trulyshiParticipant
You should be very proud of yourself, I know that I am proud of you. Remember, urges and thoughts are not actions until you turn them into that. I still have urges and thoughts of gambling after close to 4 months but they pass. The repercussions of acting on them will not pass, they will linger and cause more pain and conflict. The banning does help but continue on posting here and if you can get counselling or GA put that in place as well. You are doing terrific. Deb2 March 2013 at 5:30 am #11342nevaParticipant
SG, I know what you mean about finding something to ‘zone out’. I haven’t found anything but have found as I go longer without gambling, I am slowly getting back to the old weekends years ago without ‘itching’ to escape to the casino. I couldn’t even get into a movie on Saturday afternoons…couldn’t relax because gambling was always in the back of my mind. It’s not like that now. Hang in there. I believe it will get better in time. You’re doing great. As tough as it seems right now, once you feed the gambling addiction, it will be even tougher and you would be wishing you were back to day 56 and able to ‘wait’ out the urges. You are doing something to be proud of.
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