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    • #27603

      Guess I have said this a thousand times but this time it’s for real. I had minor financial problems before due to Sportsbetting but was able to resolve them all as I was only betting only 20% of my income.

      On July of this year, I started playing Craps in the Casino. I won at first and that was a big win. From that time, I started playing everyday. Sometimes I win but most of the time I lose. I only realized today that I have spent my Christmas bonus on Friday and Paycheck yesterday in Craps. All the money lost.

      Now my wife is real mad at me as I am unable to provide the money to pay for bills. The worst thing is that, she gave me a note this morning that I am now incharge of paying all the bills. The problem is that I have no money left.

      I really want to change my life. I don’t want to live like this. My wife does not talk to me and I have thousand of pesos bills to pay.

      Today, I will start changing my life. I started by visiting this site. on Friday I will start attending GA meeting and on the weekend, I will let my wife know what has happened. I know my wife will get mad at me but it’s better that she’ll know it from me. Hopefully, my wife will help with solving this problem of mine

    • #27604
      monique
      Participant

      <

      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team


      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
      privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #27605
      monique
      Participant

      Hi wanttostopgambling.

      That is a good name for a start. If you focus on that goal, you can do well. It will not be easy, but now you can get support here and from your meetings. Use all the support you can get from people who really understand the problems of gambling addiction.

      Your wife may not understand it all right now; she may be feeling angry, hurt etc. So I suggest you continue to focus on doing all you can to start your recovery. If your wife can see positive steps and action on your part, it may help her to have confidence that you really do have a goal of being gambling free. If you can resist trying to expect enthusiasm from her just now, she can make her own mind up, when she has had time to see what’s happening.
      It is hard to have bills to pay, when you have no money left, but do talk this over here – maybe on the helpline, in groups or in your meeting and see if you can find practical measures to cope with this. Don’t despair; when you have really made up your mind, there will be a way through.

      Keep in contact with this site, read and write here. I wish you well.

      Monique

    • #27606

      Day 1 was good yesterday. Urge of betting Champions League football came but was able to manage it. I had 3000 PHP yesterday to pay for infant milk. Good thing I didn’t use it for placing a bet.

      My wife is still mad at me as I am unable to provide my share for house budget and today’s day 3 of us not in good terms.

      I’ll inform her about what happened to the money I lost in the casino on the weekend and I hope she’ll understand me.

      She thinks that I do not trust her about expenses but what’s true is that I lost all the money so I can’t give any money to her.

      I just feel bad thinking about the monies I lost in the past 2 months.

      I just hope everything will be alright soon.

    • #27607
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Hi Iwant,
      I know how bad you feel at the moment . Having no money due to gambling is the worse feeling in the world. You have taken very positive steps towards stopping. You seem like a strong person who has his priorities in life right so I know you will succeed in stopping gambling! Keep strong and continue to share your journey with us!

    • #27608

      I have just finished my shift today. Finished all the tasks and had a plate of carbonara for lunch. Thoughts of gambling still came. I saw myself throwing dice in craps table and eventually saw my self throwing away money so I came back to reality too fast.

      Got enough money to cover my lunch and bus fare so betting is impossible.

      There are 2 more challenges that I need to watch out for;

      1. My work is about 30-minute taxi ride to the nearest casino
      2. I am working for bookmaker’s Customer Service Team

      And here’s the tasks that I need to do;

      1. Self Exclude in all the Casinos. I have finished Self Excluding in my online accounts.

      2. Go to GA meeting next Friday at 7:30 PM. I wasn’t able to go today as I was too busy at work and break time didn’t match the meeting schedule.

      3. Entrust my debit card and ATM to my wife and let her handle the finances whilst I’m on my way to recovery

      4. Deactivate my online fund transfer.

      And here’s the tasks that I need to do daily

      1. Pray with my wife
      2. Practice playing pool (30 minutes)
      3. Spend time with our baby before going to work
      4. Lunch with colleagues
      5. Go home right after work.

    • #27609
      charles
      Moderator

      Hi Iwanttostopgambling and welcome to the forum.

      I was like you and had said that I was going to stop many, many times in the past. When it really was “for real” why should my family believe me? Like you wife they had heard it all before. In the end it wasn’t my words and promises that counted, it was my actions that they took notice of.

      You have listed a lot of good actions there already. Well done on self excluding from your online accounts – maybe think about installing a blocker for your PC as well. That would stop you opening any other accounts.

      I see that one of your proposed actions is to go home right from work, is that a time you used to gamble? I don’t know what your job is but if you don’t need to carry cash as part of your job then don’t have any in your pocket when you leave home in the mornings, just enough for lunch and a drink – that way you can’t gamble on the way home no matter how tempted.

      Keep posting and let us know how you get on as you implement your plans.

    • #27610

      Hi Charles,

      I did install Gambloc but with a relapse on March 2015, I am now in a big trouble. Since then I started playing Craps in City of Dreams Manila. I haven’t tracked my losses on 2015 but last year, I have lost around $10K. I felt felt the need to change for good in the beginning of this year only to lose my Dec 2016 salary on New Years Eve. I borrowed money from boss only to lie that I need money as my wife and I are having issues in our relationship and that I need to rent a place near my work. I got the money only. Went back to Solaire Manila only to lose it all. Since January this year until March 30, I lost all my salary. Today I am depressed and feels like jumping off the rail as I write this.

      I am deprsses because I have a massive amount of debt. I lied to my wife again and again. Now we need to pay our bills and got no money. Over the past 3 months I managed to borrow money from my friends and coworkers. I can’t pay them and I have no other option now.

      I still want to change but I didn’t change. I only upgraded myself to become a worst husband to my wife, useless father to my 3 yeat old son and the useless individual to everyone who knos me.

    • #27611
      charles
      Moderator

      Hi and welcome back.

      As you have found, this is a progressive problem. If we carry on gambling then however bad things are they will continue to get worse.

      You can be that better husband. I don’t know what your local gambling regulations are but see if you can get yourself banned from that casino.

      You said you were going to go to GA? Did you get there? Are you still going?

      Get back to the things that helped before – just carry the cash you need for lunch etc

      Being honest with yoru wife would help, she can help with the accountability.

      Again, welcome back but this time KEEP posting, if we could do it on our own then we wouldnt be in trouble in the first place.

    • #27612

      Hi Charles, my plan to attend GA meetings didnt materialised. I was so stupid on not doing it that I feel it would have save me money and troubles.

      I did some root cause analysis. I tried to ask as many ‘Why’ as I can until I get an answer which can’t be asked by a ‘Why’.

      Problem 1:

      Why do I experience Financial Challenges?
      (Beacuse I lose all my money in the casino.)
      Why do I lose all the time?
      (Because I don’t want to stop and I have no power to stop when I am in the Craps table)
      Why do you behave like that?
      (Because I did not believe that I can’t control my level of Gambling. I believed that I can get my losses back.
      Why do I have that belief?
      This I can’t answer as I don’t know the answer.

      Problem 2:

      Why did I have to loan big amount of money?
      (I feel the need to get back all the previous money that I lost. I also wanted to cover up my trouble from my from relatives.) Why do I hide my problem and why do you want to get the losses back?
      (Because I was brought up to never make any mistake. Also I have loans that I need to pay)
      Why do I believe that I can get my losses back so I can pay my loans?
      (This I can’t answer anymore)

      And so here are my unusual beliefs;

      I believe that I can win the lost money back.
      I believe that I can payoff my loans by winning in the casino.

      Now that I am not inside the Casino, I know that my beliefs are the following;
       
      I COULD NEVER WIN MY LOSSES BACK. THE ODDS ARE AGAINST ME AND IN THE LONG RUN, I WILL STILL END UP AS LOSER.

      I COULD NEVER PAYOFF MY LOANS IF I KEEP ON LOSING MONEY IN THE CASINO

      But when I have money, I observed that my beliefs shifts back to my ‘normal’ twisted beliefs

      I AM A COMPULSIVE GAMBLER. AND WITH THAT MY BELIEFS WILL BE DISTORTED AGAIN ONCE I HAVE THE MONEY.

      So here are the triggers that make me go to the Casino.
      – I promised my wife that I will buy her our first family car before our wedding anniversary on May. I have some money in investment that she doesn’t know. That money I will use for the car. I gambled because I am selfish and I didn’t want to use this investment money. I believe that I can use my paycheck as funds for the casino. Losses I didn’t realised at first but it mounted up that I didn’t realised that my losses is enough to buy a car on December last year.

      – My loan from my friends have also ballooned up starting December last year. Small loans but that’s equivalent to 2 months worth of paycheck.

      Unless I stick to my beliefs when I am skint, I won’t be able to resolved ny problems. 🙁

      I’m in depressed mode right now. I know I need to ban my self in the Casinos but I don’t have the strenght yet. I feel I need to confess I again to my wife of all the things that I have done.

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