Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

[hetty]

8 days gambling free and I pledge today will be a productive day away from clubs and casino!
Going to keep myself busy with house work something I have neglected of late, I feel great and in this moment I feel like I have control over myself.
I have put out my safety nets, I got no money at home and no access to bank cards. I have had many light bulb moments over my own behavior this last few weeks, no more excuses or lies. I can see now what I am a cg, I have been out of control, each day is a battle but one that I’m now is ready to face. life is what it is and what has been has been! However now is within my realm of control. it’s my life and I WILL this Sunday live it without the machines control.

[chubbycat]

Good on you Hetty… way to go.. yep i’m with you.. just one day at a time
Chubby

[stupidgirl34]

Happy New Year Chub, Hetty and Carol. Here is to a new gamble free year!
I will make this work!

[hetty]

I’m feeling sad today, really really sad and not in the **** for nothing. My **** has always been an issue it can go from top of the world to deepest dispair in a matter of minutes.
Think it has to do with the abuse I suffered as a child.
Going back to work today, don’t feel like it, not sure why, knows I deep in that i really do like my work.
On the upside my gambling urges seems to have almost **** down since that horrid testing time at Christmas, not that I think they will stay calm for long but any calm day is a +.
Guess bottom line is, I like to pull the doona over my head and hide from life for a bit, but since it doesn’t work that way I will get my sad *** up and deal with the day and all it hands me.
I pledge to not gamble today and to be kind to myself.
You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see, But you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel.

[hetty]

Day 40, and I want to gamble, I want to feel that rush, my body is restless 🙁
Not going to gamble, the thought makes me frustrated, grumpy, ..let’s hope this pass soon.You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see, But you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel.

[desdemona]

Dear (((Hetty)))! What’s going on in your life right now that would make you have strong urges to gamble?? Sometimes when I can identify the stress in my life it becomes clearer to me why I have thoughts/urges. Hope you get some peace of mind real soon and those nasty urges pass. Carole

[hetty]

***** (((Carole))) not sure what was going on and as a matter a fact it matters little, bottom line is I cannot gamble, no matter how bad the urges get or how much I want it.
I have to surrender to that fact.
It makes it a lot easier actually.
I did not gamble yesterday and I will not gamble today.You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see, But you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel.

[razzabelle]

Please don’t gamble Hetty…..Try with ALL your strength…..Focus…..Breathe….go for a walk; clean out a drawer; call a friend; bake a cherry pie (yummy:) anything but that WASTE of our life; HORRIBLE addiction.  YOU have helped ME very much so thus far.  Girl, you are THOUSANDS of miles away, but I feel you right here with me.  Doesn’t it feel wonderful to have helped another woman during her time of despair?  I pray and hope my support can help you too.  YOU are SO MUCH BETTER then those EVIL, GROTESQUE, MACHINES….*** Much love, RazzYou Get What You Give

[hetty]

(((razz))) thank you for your support and i didn’t gamble, and regardless of my urges it’s very little chance I would be able too as I have put so many restrictions on myself 🙂 today things are kinda peaceful again and yes you are right those machines are pesky things so lets stay away from them. Together we can make it.
You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see, But you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel.

[stupidgirl34]

So proud of you! I too have felt really down the last couple of days, glad you made it through! I will make this work!

[desdemona]

A day at a time is all we need to get through (((Hetty)))! Many of us go along fine and then for whatever reason we have to fight urges that tell us at *****, "so what if you go for a little gamble?" The addicted mind tries to minimize the damage a little gamble will do to us. It’s never a little damage emotionally. It’s a battle for our lving the life we were intended to live, and for some people it has been a battle that has cost them their very life, because they could see no way out.  Hetty, I mentioned to my daughters about the 100 bust exhibit you are part of and they wanted to know if you would be willing to share any links about this project as they think it is an idea that rocks, and they are involved in organizing the Relay for Life that is held in our town each year, to raise lots of money for cancer research. Carole 

[hetty]

Hi Carol and sg, thanks for your support 🙂 today I woke up with no urges and in all things are going easier, much easier, my anxiety in the evening are dropping. Life is pretty **** good.
Carol, You can find information and pictures on Facebook, just search for “bust out for breast cancer” 🙂
I know the artist who has done the busts is amazing and has donated to much of her own time..
You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see, But you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel.

[chubbycat]

***** Hetty was nice to see you in chat today us early birds up in the first hours of sunlight.. You are going great Hetty, you have been strong from the start and i love how you say you have accepted you cant gamble that is the part we fight and you have got it straight up
Good on you girl
Chubby

[razzabelle]

I am PROUD of you Hetty!!  xxxYou Get What You Give

[hetty]

Sunday morning, bad head ache, some urges, and yet a beautiful day that I can fill what ever I like…as long as its not gambling.
I did not gamble yesterday and I will not gamble today.You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see, But you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel.

[Author]

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