20 November 2015 at 6:29 pm #4418
For those that don’t know me I facilitate some of the groups here. I myself am a Compulsive Gambler who hasn’t had a bet in a while now.
Anyway, some of the groups are open to all; both Gamblers and/or Friends and Family of Gamblers. The Topic groups are one such group.
On the basis that it helps to advertise I thought I would flag up an upcoming Topic that might be of interest to users of this Forum. On Monday evening (UK time) we will be discussing Enabling.
Check the Group schedule, whilst logged in, for the time in your own country. All are welcome and all views will be heard. Whilst I know you are all well looked after well by Velvet, in the FnF Groups, you would also be welcome in any of the Community/All members Welcome groups as well.
For anyone interested in looking at other Topics then please look at the Topic Group Forum. The upcoming Topics will be stickies at the top of the page. You are also welcome to post any topic related thoughts on any of the Topics listed there.
I look forward to hopefully meetign some of you soon.20 November 2015 at 9:02 pm #4419
Please note that the Topic groups have a 15 minute entry window, after that the doors “lock”. You can of course still get out though!! 🙂26 November 2015 at 9:50 pm #4420
Thanks to those who joined me. It was a good discussion.
There were many forms of enabling mentioned. Obvious ones like lending money, bailing our of trouble etc. Things like putting up with unacceptable behaviour. Less obvious things as well, like reassurance, saying things will be ok, when unless something changes then they clearly wont be. Saying “It’s not your fault, it’s the addiction.” Things like keeping secrets for a gambler.
Also enabling isn’t only done by friends and family, it can equally be done by other gamblers lending each other money, covering each others tracks etc
One thing that was agreed on though, whatever enabling may have taken place we are all responsible for our own actions. However much my mum might have bailed me out it was ME who accepted it. It was ME who manipulated etc to get what I wanted. It was me who avoided taking responsibility for my own actions.
I always say that I was an a***hole who gambled. Was it the addiction that made me that a***hole? Maybe but that didn’t change the fact that I was one. Nor did I turn into a saint the day i stopped gambling, recovery takes work.
Whatever the addiction did to me I was still responsible for my own actions, then when I was gambling and now as I work recovery.
Anyway, again thanks for those that were there and hopefully see some of you soon. Don’t worry, recovery means i’m not that ****** any more 🙂
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