[silly_me]

I am a 31 year old female, a wife and a mother to three awesome children. I am also a binge gambler. I have gone long periods of time without gambling at all, but for some reason, when the time hits, I will sit in front of a slot or my computer for hours on end watching the reels spin. I may not spend tons of money, I’ve never put us into huge debt, but I feel like I am absolutely out of control when I keep going putting the money in. Whether it’s playing down a big win (after I’ve promised I would cash out to pay off other bills or go on a nice vacation) or dropping $200 just because I feel badly. I make promises to my husband that I will try to stop, and I keep them for quite awhile. I scare myself, because each time I do it, I’m completely obsessed with more more more or just let me win back what I spent. Ultimately I think I just need to get away from my own mind sometimes. But alas, hot off a binge, I feel like complete ****. I had won $700 and instead of letting sleeping dogs lie, I went through it all and then put on another $200. Do I have a huge problem???? I think I might, I don’t like the way it feels after. All in all I want to stop. But then again, maybe I don’t.
 

[schnauzerlvr]

Hi, you are no different than any of us, no win is ever enough so as I tell myself if I can’t walk away with a win why am I here in the first place, and there is no worse feeling that praying to just get back what I lost but as you know because you have won back what you lost you keep playing and then say the same prayer, it never ends. We don’t need to win free $ we play due to other reasons mine is a result of just being lonely and I will remain that way till I stop because who would want a compulsive gambler in there life, I would not want me so I try to stop but only for today and if I can do that every day I will change we are not stupid but why would we risk so much for so little. This may sound like a very bad thing to say to you but Try to think of a life without your family because they are part of the bet there is nothing that is not on the table when you place you could loose a lot more than you are aware of. I know what I speak of as do many others on this site. I have paid I huge price in the past due to video poker and the funny thing is they call it a game, this is no game. I hope you read and post it could save you from a lesson you really don’t want to have to learn.

[Anonymous]

hi there ans welcome. you need to get betfilter asap, and ban yourself from gambling venues. more easily said then done, but if you are ready to quit you will do that. i have two minds right now, one mind thinks it can gamble nomatter what i say or do, so i am trying to find spiritual strength, however naive and far fetched it seems. when i get thoughts of gambling i meditate by making it a negative thought rather than imagining it will be a rewarding or positive experience. i thought because i didnt gamble for many years that maybe i wasn’t a compulsive gambler afterall, but after my last slip i am sure that i am. i have tried everything, so now i just want to take the spiritual religious endevour to cope and deal with my issues. not all days are easy. the painful days and stressful days are the ones you worry about, not today but sometime in the unknown future. i tortured myself constantly thinking about what i stand to lose, and what difficulties i might face in the unknown future, so much so i contemplated suicide. that is also why i am leaning towards a spiritual religious perspective. afterall the mental turmoil leads me to gambling. so don’t worry be happy, and one day at a time. if you can make a step by step plan of what to do, to help you avoid those binge experiences, finding a substitute activity or two, will help you. don’t let the demon on your shoulder ruin your livelihood.

[stormy]

hi sillyme.

like you, i have gone long periods without gambling. but sometimes when the time comes, i would just sit in front of the computer and click away. However, i also feel out of control when sitting there and playing. Its like i would do anything to get back to even after losing- which includes increasing my bets by a lot! Its good that you realize that you scare yourself due to this habit. I think that it is could be a huge problem if you allow this to happen again.

So stay away!

Stormy."The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket."

[silly_me]

Thanks for the pep talks. I tried to install the Betfilter trial, but for some reason it wasn’t working. I do want to stop. I don’t go to casinos very often (maybe once a year) although that’s where it started. I think the problem is more on-line right now. I thought about going to a local GA but it’s pretty hard to do when your hubby works away and you have children, probably why I came to this site. My husband tells me to talk to him when I get the "itch" as he calls it, but he doesn’t understand the "itch" so it’s hard for me to talk about it. He’s a fixer, he wants to fix my problems and I just need someone to listen most of the time. I think I have a huge amount of anxiety that stems from fear. Fear of everything. I’m sort of rambling, sorry. Just trying to get it out I guess. Anyhow…I suppose I’ll keep this going, maybe it will help to just vent it out to people who understand a little and can be supportive in a way that people with out this urge cannot. It’s pretty funny flyorra, you used the analogy I often use….the demon whispering in your mind. People say they aren’t real, but I think they might just be, only not in the way most of us imagine.
Anyhow, thanks again to those who responded 🙂

[Dunc]

 
Hi Silly Me, A Warm Welcome to Gambling Therapy
Having found us you have also found a diverse community who can help and support you on your recovery journey.
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and non-judgemental environment and by reading others stories am sure you will see that you are very much not alone in this addiction
Please click here to see our services page, feel free to use all that this site can offer…
To chat with others in real time you may wish to make use of the support groups, the ***** of these groups are advertised under "What’s on and When" or click here to see the weekly group schedule.
For one to one chat you may want to try the live advice helpline. Click "connect" when these options become available.
Also to say when you registered we would have sent you an email with an attachment, this attachment will help you navigate the site and find the support you so rightly deserve, alternatively this guide can be downloaded by clicking here.  
Take Care
HarryWatch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

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