15 January 2013 at 12:26 pm #11588
My name is inner child and I didn’t gamble today. Instead I spent time with my daughter and bought her some new things that she needs for our holiday later on this year.
I felt sad because she told me about the times I let her down ( luckily there wasn’t many).
I feel sad… the tears are rolling down my cheeks right now but I am so much smarter now, the damage is done financially and emotionally, the rest of my life will be spent trying to make it up to husband and daughter and also myself.
2 February 2013 at 12:28 am #11589
8 days of not gambling2 February 2013 at 11:09 am #11590paul315Participant
Originally posted by inner child
8 days of not gambling
Good morning IC,
Well done. Keep working at adding additional days to not only an accumulation of gambling free days, but to the ***** of a more normal way of thinking and living, and the benefits that they provides for as well.
Again, well done. God’s Speed. Stay strong. Keep following the actions required for your progress.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.3 February 2013 at 12:47 am #11591cat438Participant
Hi innercild, keep posting and reading the threads of others here as you will find some useful information to help you in recovery. It is tough when you start recovery. I remember when I first registered at GT I went on a week of gambling before I really seriously started working recovery. It was the thought of not gambling that scared me and of course I ended up having a binge. Almost like thinking of dieting and earing everything before you start. I know that with the support of so many here at GT I have had more gamble free time. It has taken me a long time to accept that I can’t gamble.. or I should say that I chose not to gamble. I know at the beginning it was very tough, but it is so worth it. I hope that you had a wonderful gamble free day!!!One day at a time my sweet lord…5 February 2013 at 11:39 am #11592
Thanks Larry & Cat for your words of encouragement, it’s kind of scary thinking you can never gamble again, like not even to have fun.
Gambling is not fun because I chase losses, I have to reverse this negative effect on my life as it has also affected my family – my daughter has been turning down some invites from friends because she knows I don’t have much money that day or week.
I got really worked up over that and made her promise that she ***** to ask me first as her ***** and wants are going to be a priority for me – she is going to go to a 6 week art course for only $ 40 and equipment is included, how cheap is that ?
$ 40 on the slots would have been gone pretty quickly if not winning, she is getting great value and worth from that money, an investment in my daughter, she is quite good at painting as she has been teaching herself from you tube.
She is also going to have a horse riding lesson every month as well, I found a place that is alot cheaper than the place we used to go to – so pretty happy about that.
In the CG side I still have not gambled but had no money today so not to hard to not gamble. Will be payed in a couple of days – I have done a budget and it seems like there are always so money outgoings, I guess when I pay off my loan, hopefully at the end of year I will see things differently – I’m going to pay down my loan aggressively I’ve decided – so sick of debt !
I hoping to be able to squeeze at night out with hubby in this week’s budget as need to get out of the house on the weekends – cabin fever !
So let’s see, 11 days of not gambling , I get scared ******** the days as it kind of feels like a countdown to a bust – a weird logic I know : )
Alos, I went for a half an hour power walk with my daughter today as tring to lose weight – aiming for 8 kilo
— 5/02/2013 11:42:29 AM: post edited by inner child.5 February 2013 at 12:43 pm #11593paul315Participant
Originally posted by inner child
… an investment in my daughter …
Good morning IC,
In reading your post I see your not gambling and facing responsibilities as more than just an investment in you daughter, it is an investment in you, your life and everything that is good, important, and worthwhile. I have mentioned the GA 20 Questions a few time in other post and will mention another one here, my answer to question 13 -"Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family?" is the one that haunts me the most and makes me realize how much I took form my loved ones, and myself; and my undeniable answer of ‘yes’ is the one that guides me in making the amends that I have been able to made and work at, and consequently also lessened or removed uncalled for guilt and helped put needless regrets to rest.
You are right, how cheep is $40 when compared to the hundreds and hundreds that we have gambled away. And no matter how cheep reasonable such amount is in providing for the welfare of your family, or to allow yourself some quality time, the results are priceless; it is not just buying a few days of enjoyment and a learning experience for your daughter, or a night out for you and your husband, it is being able to again enjoy what gambling took your you.
God’s speed. Stay strong. Live and enjoy the more normal way of thinking and experiencing the adventures of life.LarryThanks to my Higher Power, My 3G's – God, GA, and GT, "Day Two Is Another Day Behind" and with the help from all I hope to continue to remain gambling free.
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