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    • #53193
      ConnorSlate
      Participant

      Dear Forum,

      My journey is not as bad as it could have been, but I’ve hit another low in my gambling and feel like I needed to finally get an account here and
      hope the support of this community can keep my on the path I’d like to be on. I need to quit gambling. I’ve read incredible stories from fellow CGs and got a lot of hope
      out of them. I hope to follow in all the footsteps of posters before me that learned to control their urges and step away from the toxicity of gambling.

      I started gambling on a national holiday, a few euros I won selling toys that day. I wasn’t allowed by my parents so did it behind their backs and illegally.
      The 8 euro won me around 90 euro. I was over the moon. I was about 9 at the time, it was like winning the lottery. I told my parents, they laughed
      and I never had a feeling gambling was bad. I’d lose 10 euro here or there until I started online gambling at 24. Betting on sports first, losing mostly
      with a few wins in between. Overall, small losses relatively but 200-300 a month. And at the time, they hurt.

      I started playing slots a few months later, initially having the well-known starter luck and winning quite a bit for me at the time. Around 110 euros
      would make my day. A whole days work and more in 10min of fun; it was of course too good to be true. I lost about 2k that year. It was this year things
      quickly escalated. I was down about 3k this year in july; I went on vacation to Vietnam and won 1300 on my phone. It was basically my entire holiday.
      It felt amazing. I continued all vacation and ended up about 1800 up. Back at home, I started betting bigger and kept winning. About 2k every month.
      Two weeks ago I lost 7000 of it all in one sitting, almost losing the entire 12k I’d banked up with gambling winnings. I felt weak, sick, ashamed and disgusted by myself and my actions.
      By some stroke of luck, a 500x roulette win on big stakes for me got me 8300 back. I went from being sick to my stomach to ecstatic.
      I was thinking, during the losing streak, “I’m done now, I will never again gamble”. When I won it all back and then some, I decided to throw that out the window and keep going.
      There’s just been too many close calls to losing it all, and barely managing to recoup losses.

      I gambled todayand lost 2500 in less than an 30 minutes. It’s now I want to quit before I can’t stop myself in a losing streak like before. It’s not a bad story, but this 2500 today
      and knowing this would normally lead to another binge of trying to chase the loss. I need to stop now and for good. I can’t afford to lose this money. Mentally and financially.

      I don’t know if this forum is the right place for me to post. I feel like a brat whining over a 2500 euro loss when I’m still ahead. It just hurt to lose such a substantial amount to me.
      I felt like I need the forum to air my frustration of today, to find support in others who’ve found it near impossible to stop and did anyway and to have a place to
      fall back on when I get the urge to gamble again. My life is on track and if I can actually, finally, after saying it at least 50 times, stop gambling now I can be at peace.
      My mind for the past months has been nothing but gambling thoughts and it’s time to move forward to productive things and thoughts.

      I’m sorry for the rant, I feel a mix of things and just really want to stop gambling now before it’s too late. Thank you for reading, I hope to see you here from time to time and I can
      eventually say this was the actual day I did my last gambling. It was a wild ride and a life experience. I hope you are all great and December treats you kindly.

      Sincerest regards

    • #53194
      ConnorSlate
      Participant

      I’m sorry the outlay of the text isn’t great, the sentences skip down a lot for no reason.

    • #53195
      Ryan123678
      Participant

      Hi mate. I’m 2 weeks gamble free myself lost all my savings.
      Wish I quit while I still had some left.
      A lot of people on here have gone into debt and lost family’s and jobs because of gambling. Quit while you still can and stay strong.

    • #53196
      ConnorSlate
      Participant

      Thanks for the support Ryan!

      Day 1 and I already have an intense urge to gamble, to just win a little back so I can feel better. Trying to fight the feeling and not give in.

      Hope you’re well and life only goes up from here; all the best!

    • #53197
      vera
      Participant

      Connor, the ONLY way you can prevent the remainder of your money going in the same direction as the previous lot, is to make it impossible for you to gain access to it. I would suggest that you clear out that bank account completely and put into the Post office (or some safe place where you can’t deposit from). Another option would be to transfer it to your spouse/friend/parent/sibling’s account for safe account.

      Otherwise you will be looking at a 000000 balance.

      I have learned this cruel fact from long experience. Bottom line, CGs can NEVER win. Once we gamble , we lose control .

      Don’t rely on the notion that “things will be better next time”.

      It ALWAYS ends in tears.

      I write these words, hoping you will take action.

      Words mean nothing to a CG.

      Action speaks louder than words.

    • #53198
      Ryan123678
      Participant

      I’m a couple of weeks in and it has got easier already I was physically sick for a few days. Now I’m just getting the odd thoughts of what I could of done with the money but it’s gone now and I just try to do something to take my mind off it. Have you blocked gambling sites yet?

    • #53199
      Dunc
      Keymaster

      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #53200
      ConnorSlate
      Participant

      Thank you for the comments; unfortunately I did gamble again today and lost another 1500. The RTP was honestly disgusting; 28% after 800 spins on Book of Dead. How is it even possible or legal… 2 bonuses, 9x and 22x. Somehow I still told myself the next deposit would be “the one”, upping my stakes every time. How can you be this stupid.

    • #53201
      ConnorSlate
      Participant

      Make that 2000 down. Does anyone have a good self exclusion program? Gamban requires a creditcard which I dont have and I need to stop asap. Thank you GT!

    • #53202
      Ryan123678
      Participant

      I lost all mine on slots aswell it goes so fast and it’s like I wasn’t myself when doing it. I excluded from each site I used individually.

    • #53203
      i-did-it
      Participant

      Conor if you are in the U.K. you could join Gamstop. Gamban do a free trial so that might be worth trying . Also you could go to the GT live support and they will advise you further.

      I reported my bank card lost and got a new one which I got someone else to open and scratch the last three numbers off and this has helped me as i cannot gamble online now .

      Hope this helps .

    • #53204
      ConnorSlate
      Participant

      Thanks for the tips! For a while recently I felt like I couldn’t lose, win after win. Lately it’s like I can’t win, at all. I see 1000s disappearing from my bank like it wasn’t even there. It hurts a lot, imaging where it could’ve gone. Vacations throw away in mere minutes. With your help I found a way to block gambling sites. I lost my last 1000 today. I am committed now to stopping. I hope to be back in a week and be a week free of gambling. Thank you again, hope you’re all well.

    • #53205
      Sauchgirl
      Participant

      Conor I’m sorry to hear you gambled again. Please know you are not alone in this. As addictive gamblers we struggle to end on a high. Please delete your accounts or ban/block yourself now. If you can’t block yourself then put a depot restriction on. Trust me, I almost relapsed yesterday but couldn’t as I had banned myself from my usual sites and didn’t have my bank cards handy to deposit cash (I’ve put them in my husbands wallet). It was like I was a robot, in that moment gambling felt as normal as making a cup of tea and it enormousy of what I was doing didn’t hit me until I couldn’t do it.

      Just keep asking yourself, “what would happen if you lost”. View gambling as never winning but only ever losing, we all know that after that initial perhaps innocent bet will lead to us spiralling out of control.

      Please stay positive, keep coming back and reminding yourself why you need to stop. There is so much support on here. You can do this and today is a new day. Take care.

    • #53206
      Sauchgirl
      Participant

      Conor I’m sorry to hear you gambled again. Please know you are not alone in this. As addictive gamblers we struggle to end on a high. Please delete your accounts or ban/block yourself now. If you can’t block yourself then put a depot restriction on. Trust me, I almost relapsed yesterday but couldn’t as I had banned myself from my usual sites and didn’t have my bank cards handy to deposit cash (I’ve put them in my husbands wallet). It was like I was a robot, in that moment gambling felt as normal as making a cup of tea and it enormousy of what I was doing didn’t hit me until I couldn’t do it.

      Just keep asking yourself, “what would happen if you lost”. View gambling as never winning but only ever losing, we all know that after that initial perhaps innocent bet will lead to us spiralling out of control.

      Please stay positive, keep coming back and reminding yourself why you need to stop. There is so much support on here. You can do this and today is a new day. Take care.

    • #53207
      Sauchgirl
      Participant

      Sorry I didn’t see your last post before posting! Sounds like you got this & glad to see your blocked. Stay strong!

    • #53208
      ConnorSlate
      Participant

      You’re absolutely right; the losses I have now a surmountable, perhaps thats why gambling again feels so tempting. I can afford to lose “a little bit more”, but as you said, it doesn’t stay with a little bit more. Unfortunately I don’t have anyone to hand my cards to, I deposit using my phone and it’s too easy. The gambling blocker will hopefully help. The losses will come back in time, work a little extra and try to stay positive. I’d just like to mention i’m really proud you managed to not gamble; what a good idea to not have cards at hand! We can both stop, I know it. The start is the hardest, recent losses hurt and the idea we might win them back is so tempting. It’s all losses though, as you said. Time to start enjoying life again. Gambling is no longer fun or exciting, just agony. Hope to speak soon and with positive vibes 

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