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    • #26402

      Well hello to everyone again. Must be ten years since I starting coming here. My story is no different from all of you. I gamble I have done all of my life. I have won very big….. once and I have given it back 20 fold. I now find myself working away from home, no bookies in sight and yet still manage to find online gambling sites. Most of the time I think I’m doing ok but so far this year I’ve recorded the same thing 5 times. Find a new site that isn’t linked to any I’m excluded from. Join up, go steady for a few weeks. Cool I am in control like a normal person then BAM I sart losing and I go on and on until im down thousands in one night.
      I always leave plenty of money in the account so my wife doesn’t find out but that not the point I KNOW

      I have tried all of the other help groups and the long and tall of it is I’m going to need to come clean ( again ) and tell my wife. Tell her about the secret credit cards and the addiction that she thinks is ‘cured’
      I haven’t the heart to tell her there is no cure, only abstaining from gambling. you don’t just turn things off. If you don’t do something you become less dependent but as soon as you fall off the wagon you are right back where you left off.

      Anyway, Ive had enough, I’m ashamed of myself and more importantly I’ve let my family down again. My wife gets worried if she spend 50 on a pair of shoes for a 2 year old and I just want to shout FFS I’ve just blown 3000 on feck all and have nothing to show for it, go and by them everything and have a holiday

      As I said in my title I am a fecking selfish clown who needs to buck his ideas up before I really feck my life up and my wife and kids

      I need to sort it once and for all this time
      We all say it
      We all mean it
      Bu we all fail at somepoint. I’m just so annoyed to go 5 years and then this year has been a disaster now im gambling again

      I wont get addicted to this site like last time as I ended up on here for hours every night to keep me occupied

    • #26403

      Hi Donutd, Welcome. I don’t really know what to say. What can you do differently to stop gambling than you did the last time you were here? Have you tried GA, banning, blocking the oneline gambling sites, and giving financial control over to your wife? Keep posting your thoughts and reading other’s threads. That’s what helped me decide to get serious about not gambling. Take care.

    • #26404

      Hi donut d.. Why not get addicted to this site for a wee while? .. I certainly am. For example right now I am in the bath writing to u on my phone.. But I’m not blowing 3000!!! If this site is the crutch you need right now use it.. I also use the helpline And chat groups.. We have to be As selfish about our recovery as we are about gambling..I often feel selfish for hogging the helpline with stupid anxieties I get but you know it has been a
      lifeline for me, because my old escape from my anxieties was gambling!!…gradually I am finding I am enjoying other things.. My social life which was completely non existent has burst back into life.. Because I can now afford twenty quid to go out for a pizza or whatever!! It’s amazing how far money stretches when we are not gambling.. So Donut, for now post a hundred times a day if you need to.. Be completely selfish in your pursuit of recovery!!! You will do it!!

    • #26405

      Hi Donut, welcome back.

      I see you are already getting some good advice. When you do come clean with your wife (again) it’ll help if as well as presenting the problem you can show her what you are going to do about it this time. As others have suggested a blocker on your lap top would be a good idea, financial accountability.

      Why not tell her there is no cure? Tell her that and she will know that it’s important that you keep using support, keep you accountable for finances etc.

      Maybe you need to tell it to yourself as well though….

      “I need to sort it once and for all this time”

      There is no once and for all, if you are a Compulsive Gambler then you will remain a compulsive gambler. That doesn’t mean you need place another bet though, as long as you use support.

      I’d also ask you to relook at something else ….

      “We all say it

      We all mean it

      But we all fail at somepoint.”

      Be careful you aren’t setting yourself up for your next bet because no, we aren’t all destined to fail.

      This site helped you last time, it will help again, of course. This time though remember that as well as needing help to stop it is also important to use support to maintain recovery. Keep posting and maybe think about the other support that is out there, maybe GA meetings. That way you can be stronger still.

      Again welcome back and I look forward to hearing the positive steps you are taking.

    • #26406

      I can go years without gambling and then one day, I have a feeling on a game, deposit money onto the account, and begin the long month spiral. One undeniable fact that has helped me is the realization that I CANNOT WIN.

      Like you said, even when I win, I will give it back 20 fold, not to mention the lost time spent on gambling. This is a progressive disease that will only get worse. Now, it seems like you have your family in tact and money in the bank. You need to block everything. One other thing that I found to be extremely helpful is therapy. Either on here or in real life. I discovered that gambling is a by-product of other personality disorders. See you on here soon.

      Jack Wilson

    • #26407


      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
      privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #26408

      Hi Donutd
      When I didn’t ‘know’ anything about gambling addiction I had no idea what it was that was affecting my life so I couldn’t help myself or support my CG, as a result I spent 25 years doing all the wrong things for all the right reasons.
      Once of the hardest things I had to accept, along with every CG and F&F member on this site, is that there is no cure for what is hurting my loved one. What helped me to accept was a person in Gamanon whose husband was a CG who had changed his life when they had both hit a terrible rock bottom.
      I think that just like CGs who learn so much from each other, those who love CGs find the greatest support from those who understand what it is like to live with an addiction that they do not own and over which they have no control.
      I cannot tell you what to do but I don’t think that hearing that there is no cure for the addiction is the first thing your wife should hear.
      Here on the site we have a Friend and Family forum and an F&F group whose discussions do not appear on the forum. Your wife would be welcome on the forum and in the groups where she could learn, without any judgement and at a pace that is right for her, about your addiction.
      I believe it would help her to talk to those who understand that you cannot just turn things off but also to tell her that there are ways to cope and that there is always hope. I wouldn’t be writing to you now if I didn’t know that the addiction to gamble can be controlled and that a wonderful life is possible even though there is no cure.
      I love a CG Donutd, I accept he cannot be cured, I accept that I can never save him but I know how to live without fear. I know that in the end, through understanding, I have given the right support for the right reasons and I believe that my understanding support has helped him.
      I wish you well in whatever you decide to do

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