What am I suppose to do?

[kristy mott]

Hi, I am Kristy Mott from Seattle and I am new here. he is a chain smoker and he addicted to alcohol. He found it good and safe more with friends . Gambling and alcohol became part of his life. He stopped bothering family things and it became part of his daily routine. But I can’t leave him like that. I am pregnant and delivery is expected to be by October. I am excited very much about the delivery but it’s his addiction that is disturbing now. I am planning to take him for an addiction treatment ( http://edgewoodhealthnetwork.com/i-need-help/#!treatment-plan ) at Edgewood Health Network which is near to our place. As my delivery is on October doc has asked to take complete rest, but he won’t go unless and I make an initiate in regards to that. I need him back as before. Is the addiction treatment common for kind of addiction? Or should I make him undergo some other treatments in addition to that? Will this treatment help my boy come out of his gambling addiction too? He really made efforts to come out of all this,but he is not able to. What could be the best thing to suggest for me? Is there any other alternatives to suggest in this regard?

[velvet]

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Hello Kristy

Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.

Feel free to use the friends and family group, you’ll find the times for these if you click on the “Group times” box on our Home page. Now that you have introduced yourself you’ll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and they’ll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂

If you’re the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isn’t connected with GMA, please don’t identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.

You’ll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which you’ll follow, some you won’t…but that’s ok because only you fully understand your
situation and what’s best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you don’t because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂

We look forward to hearing all about you!

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our

privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[velvet]

Hi Kristy
Well done starting your thread.
I have read the information from the link you have put in your post and it seems to me that Edgewood are offering a good service but is your husband/partner going because he wants to control his addiction or because you are insisting he goes? GGs (compulsive gamblers) have to want to change their lives if treatment is to be successful.
You can’t make him stop gambling Kristy, only he can do that but if he willingly embraces the treatment hopefully he will be the man that he wants to be.
Keep posting
Velvet

[nomore 56]

Hi Kristy, I live in the greater Seattle area and am quite familiar with the treatment and help options in WA State. First let me say that my heart goes out to you because my hb’s gambling was an issue when I was pregnant many years ago. The stress had a great impact on my pregnancy and consequently on my daughter. I firmly believe that.
I don’t know anything about the treatment facility you mentioned but the fact that it is close to your home should not be a factor if and when your hb is ready to work on his recovery. Every cg is different and what works for one might not work for another. My hb completed 2 inpatient programs, each lasted 30 days. After the first one he stopped gambling for many years but was in relapse mode instead of being in recovery. The second was a waste of time. Today he says that he firmly believes addiction needs a kind of holistic approach, meaning looking at every aspect of the person’s life, past and present. He attended GA meetings and really didn’t get much out of them. But that is a personal thing, some cgs need the meetings and stay in recovery with the help of fellow addicts.
The most important thing for you right now is to create a safe and halfway peaceful place for yourself and your child. You cannot make your hb do anything and going into treatment because he feels obligated will most likely not get the results you want for him and your family. If you are able to, try to find a GamAnon meeting in your area. Do you have support from family and/or friends? The burden gets a little lighter when you can share it I think.
You can find the Evergreen State Council on Problem Gambling on the internet. The have a lot of resources you could tap into. There is also a list of qualified, certified gambling counselors on their site. To find the right therapist or treatment program is very important because your hb seems to also have a problem with alcohol. Counseling is also available for family members and I believe they still charge on a sliding scale depending on your income.
If you have any questions I can answer, please let me know. I will write more later re. taking steps to protect your finances for the time being.
Take good care of yourself!!
Birgit

[nomore 56]

I forgot to say that my hb completed a third inpatient program. Out of state and lasting 120 days. He has been in recovery ever since.

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