12 September 2022 at 6:55 pm #163301jack001Participant
Let me just start by saying, I wasn’t always a gambler but I have always struggled with money. Growing up poor for most of my life I never learned what it was like to have lots of money, I learned to live off of less and got by with what I could when I had it. But one day I decided to go to college, (without graduating highschool) and got myself a very comfortable job that pays a very comfortable amount of money. Something I never thought possible. For all that I am extremely grateful. Growing up I never really struggled with any addictions, doing some heavy drugs and drink often, but able to stop at any given time. Only once I started smoking cigarettes did I truly feel what addiction felt like. An addiction that followed me around for 15 years and still, kind of does. I managed to quit cigarettes in favor of vaping and did that for 5 years before finally putting it down as well. I had been nicotine clean for 3 years until I picked it back up again, slowly and very rarely. But still, I partake in the occasional cigar or cigarillo every now and again. So I understand the struggles it is to beat and continue carrying forward.
This year, I stumbled upon online gambling. Black Jack specifically, and I fell in love with the game, the rush, the thrill of winning big and doubling, tripling my money. An easy way to make cash I told myself, a “side hustle” like no other. Now 5 months later, I am 15,000$ in debt and struggling daily to stop myself from spending more. I cannot believe what I have become, what it did to me and what I allowed it to do to me. The stress was so real I started smoking even more often. I took out a loan with a ridiculous interest rate, my credit rating tanked as I did many inquiries within a very short span. It has ruined what was, a relatively peaceful life. I was finally on the up, making good money and making a home for myself and my partner. Now I feel like I’ve ruined it all… But I know that isn’t true and that this hole I am in, is only temporary, my anxiety speaks powerfully and I have to sustain the will to push it away. A steady payment plan to get back out of debt and the ability to conquer my addiction(s), I know I cant do it alone and that is why I am here, not necessarily seeking advice but to express myself and share what I am going through with others and hear/read what you all are going through as well. This is my journal and you are welcome to share your experiences here with me. I know many others are struggling as well and together, we can make it through this.
I may be in debt, I may be in a rough place right now, you may be in a rough place and struggling with finical matters brought on by addiction. But we can get through this.
We can get through this.
12 September 2022 at 6:56 pm #163330charlesModerator
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums. By posting to the forums you’re allowing the diverse and caring Gambling Therapy community to help support you through the difficulties you’re facing.
This may well be a tough time for you – particularly if you’re new to recovery, so we encourage you to post here as often as you need to, as well as making use of the online groups and the live advice helpline if you’d like some one-to-one support. We’re all in this together! If you’re a new member, you are warmly invited to join Charles in one of the New Members Practical Advice groups (Mondays at 21:00 UK Time and Thursdays at 19:00 UK Time).
The forum is a great place to share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. By writing it all down you can start to build a record of your progress that you can look back on – particularly useful if you’re ever feeling stuck. Share as much or as little as you like – but you’re encouraged to stick to keeping to just one thread in this forum – so people know where to find you to check in on your progress or to share something with you.
The Gambling Therapy staff team don’t generally post to the forums as it is a peer support area of the site – so we’ll hand you over to the community from here.
The Gambling Therapy Team
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