Each time I walk into the Casino I say I will not spend all of my money and that I will not use any charge cards or my bank debit card. Most times I leave them home, but they are not my only source of getting money to gamble with. There is also the checks that I have written to supply my habit of gambling. Living 10 minutes away from the casino does not help either. The thing is, I hardly ever win and when I doI only in the end put it all back. Most time I walk out of the casino broke, busted and feeling very disgusted with my self.
I have taken out loans to pay my bills. I have used credit cards to the max. I have borrowed money from my family. My poor mate does not know to what extent I have used his money. I am tired!!!! I want to have my life back!!! I used to be so responsible with my money. Always paying my bills on time. Going on vacations, going out to eat dinner and most of all going to the mall shopping. I have not been able to even buy the pair of new sneakers that I have been longing to buy because I choose to gamble. I am always broke and a lot of times I don’t even have gas money to take me back and forths to work. Thank God my mate buys my food because otherwise I would be starving.
This gambling thing has a hold on me and I want this elephant off of my back. I feel so depressed most times and wonder how and if I could ever stop the madness that I feel inside of my head. Sometimes I feel as if I have lost my mind and I am only going to get sicker if I do not get a grip on my situation. I pray for God to help me and I know he hears my cries, but not even he (God) who has all powers in his hands can deliver you from an addiction until you have surrendered your life to him and really stop gambling.
I am crying out now for help and if there is anyone there that can give a word of advice please meet me in the chat room I need HELP!!!!