- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 7 months ago by pilotdad1980.
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30 March 2021 at 3:05 pm #76555dan204Participant
I once heard it said in the recovery world that the only miracle is the “miracle of willingness”. That “miracle’ would of course always be two-fold. First, there would be the willingness to give-up Gambling once and for all. Secondly, there would be the willingness to do what needs to be done to get clean and stay clean.
To be totally honest, I myself have gone round and round with willingness. I have had times where I have wanted to quit, usually out of necessity. I have summoned enough willingness to get started and because I have nearly 30 years away from alcohol in 12 step recovery, I have a good idea what needs to be done. I also have an understanding of the results of doing what needs to be done.
The issue I seem to have is that I Love gambling. I love having it as an escape and a means of recreation. I should by now hate this addiction for all the humiliation and trouble it has caused me, but like a bad relationship, I don’t seem to want leave forever. I often wonder what it is going to take for me to walk away forever.
I get that we do this one day at a time and that we live just for today, but I seem to always find my way back to gamble. somewhere along the line, I convince myself that it is alright to try it one more time. and swoosh, I ma off and running.
I am just going to leave this up here and contemplate why even when I want to quit I do so with reservation. Is there anyway I can find myself in a position of complete willingness without having to go through the wringer? Hmmmm
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30 March 2021 at 3:07 pm #76561DuncKeymaster
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works! -
31 March 2021 at 1:28 am #76566pilotdad1980Participant
I know what you mean, the thought of not having this “old friend” anymore is scary sometimes. I try to think of all the crippling depression that comes after a gambling bender. Even the times I have won at gambling I still felt lousy afterwards. I really think it is bad for our brain and soul. I’m trying.
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