[aching heart]

Heard a lovely quote today……….
The 3 c’s of life…. Choices, chances, changes
You must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change.******
I like this n makes a lot of sense to me n trying to live by this motto… Madge it’s so hard living like this to feel used abused rejected by someone u love… With the help from everyone else here we will get through this eventually let’s hope it doesn’t take too long …
Velvet / monique u will b glad to
Know I took ur advice taken a bit of me time b4 I go to work today I went to get my hair done n I’m looking into getting myself a new little car it’s about time I focus on me ***

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Thanks v I’m off to get sleep now refuelling talk soon x

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Hi madge spoke to u earlier… I can most certainly identify with everything ur saying as I am in d middle of it… Like I said John is out of the house since last wk I’m using this time to rebuild myself which is hard in itself … I use this site to vent as ur d only ppl that truly no wats going on … I no John will be crawling begging in next couple of wks this is where I need help to plan how to stay strong as my normal cycle is to take him back unfortunately I’m in a position that both of us own the house n John manipulates by saying ” he not staying away as its is house too” I dunno where I stand with regards to this any advice anyone…. I too am torn by my heart as I had a dream family n still want it n so hard to let go of this but I no at this point that I’m so weak n exhausted to get my family bk I need to b strong for every1 involved .., I dunno wat d outcome of my actions will be I’m hoping to return to a family with John it n terrified it won’t happen but it’s a chance I have to take… At the minute I have very little contact with John which is killing me as I’m usually stalking him as we doi know if I ring him r talk to him for while I will slip bk into my nagging etc I work overnights n John minds my boys in d family home dunno no if this right r not but he has no where else to take them n I think it’s best for d boys to b in their home d last few days my 3 yr old is asking lots of innocent questions is daddy coming home where’s daddy can we collect daddy from work etc etc this is upsetting me he’s 3 n shouldn’t b feeling this…. Rant over xx

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Once again thanks for ur many words of wisdom it’s so crazy how u describe everything it’s exactly how I feel act etc u have great understanding wen I read ur post. Feel my chest tighten finally somebody realises exactly wats going on…olodaat is definitely something I will b doing… So far I’m havin ok day bit emotional as my 3 yr old has been constantly asking where is daddy is daddy minding me etc he is a baby but he so in tune his dad is taken them the zoo tomoro .. crazy but this is something he always does after a gambling binge usually I have a go at him ” u only buying ur kids love cos ur feeling **** etc etc” today I did not react wen he told me his plan just went with it I’m working all day tomoro so John do wat he likes ***

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I am new to this n have been reading a lot I can so identify with this cycle and need to break it I currently have separated from my cg partner u talk about breaking the cycle how can u so this before it reaches seperation

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Thanks velvet and again I’m so happy I have found yous and ur right I have been so demoralised to the point of absolute exhaustion but its time for the real me to come bk thanks again no doubt I b bk on later thanks ****

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Thanks Harry and velvet ur support means a lot to me… I’m taken it all aboard.. Today was another emotional horrible day but on d plus side I went to my first gamanon meeting which I found very supportive needless to say I will b going back every Monday … Here’s to becoming a stronger better person ??

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Thanks Harry I try go bk on now

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Hi Angela…
I totally understand how u feel as right now I’m going through the very same situation… I’m at the point now where I realise I’m enabling his behaviours and I know I need to stop as I exhausted drained n feels like my life is on hold can I get to work/ gym/ friends today will he b home from bookies in time to mind my lil boys… I’m new on d site I’m desperate and looking for guideance to get thru this… My mi d and heart are battling with one another tell him to the home but want him there as I love him and d boys adore him. Angela hopefully we can get through this and share what’s working what’s not xHope

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