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Hi Kathryn,
Glad you and hubby had a wonderful trip together. Those things are important.
Kathryn, this situation isn’t fair. But, you’re dealing with the facts very rationally. It’s only normal you are not going to feel exactly cheerful. The important thing is that you’re working with what you’ve got. No one can ask for more than that.
I think you once wrote that the definition of insanity is to continue to do the same thing over and over and expect a different outcome. Well, as Harry pointed out, "you’re learning to deal with issues in a different way…" Hey, I think you may be sane afterall!
Really though, you absolutely amaze me. Watching you, is like watching a flower grow…just getting more beautiful everyday.
Take care of you.
God bless. ***************************************************************************Aint nuthin’ gonna break my stride; aint nuthin’ gonna slow me down; oh no,oh no; I got to keep on goin’…Hi Kathryn, That was an interesting exchange with Brea. I’ve never raised kids so I am clueless. I think you were right to tell her how you feel about her boyfriend, though. I also think it’s not asking too much for someone to be friendly or at least respectful toward you in your own home! Surely Brea can understand your side.
I’m sure Brea feels caught in the middle, not wanting to alienate either of you. But, to me, it seems you are the one caught in the middle, not wanting to alienate Brea, but at the same time, expecting her guest to behave appropriately toward you in your home. Maybe you could talk to Cameron and tell him how you expect him to act toward you and the rest of the family when he visits. Could be he’s just a little socially inept if he hasn’t had much training. I dunno. But, I think you did good to let Brea know you weren’t buying her spiel about moving out because of you!
I envy you going to Sydney. I wish I could go to anywhere in Australia! Maybe someday. I could have taken a couple of high class cruises around the world already on what I’ve gambled over the years. So far the closest I can get to getting out of the country is to drive a few miles to the Canadian border. LOL. Oh well. Someday I may be able to get to travel if I save those pennies.
Have a great trip and don’t worry about Brea. You have something Cameron can’t replace or compete with: a history with your daughter.
God Bless.
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Aint nuthin’ gonna break my stride; aint nuthin’ gonna slow me down; oh no,oh no; I got to keep on goin’…– 7/29/2009 1:42:42 AM: post edited by compulsiveme.Kathryn,
Thank you for your encouraging post on my thread. Honestly, I would never have made it as long as I did, had it not been for your encouragement.
I am so glad you were able to get past that severe urge. It’s really hard when you have the money, the time and the opportunity. It’s a good thing you self excluded and resisted flying to another state. You took the time to think about it realistically. I really think slips are more likely to happen if we start daydreaming about it. It seems to cause the urge to grow. Kudos for resisting!
God bless.***************************************************************************Aint nuthin’ gonna break my stride; aint nuthin’ gonna slow me down; oh no,oh no; I got to keep on goin’…Kathryn, try applying a warm, wet cloth to his eye. It could help. You can warm a cloth in the microwave, but be careful cuz it gets very hot, very fast.
Congratulations on 40 days. I know it’s been tough, some days worse than others, but you made it through 40 days even in the face of extreme adversity. If I had to be in a foxhole fighting in war, I’d want someone strong like you there with me. You are a real inspiration to me.
God bless.
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Aint nuthin’ gonna break my stride; aint nuthin’ gonna slow me down; oh no,oh no; I got to keep on goin’…– 7/21/2009 11:22:20 PM: post edited by compulsiveme.Kathryn, I agree with Vera. I think your husband needs to pick up the ball from here. You’re in this thing together, but at the same time he has to do his part. You ordered the test now he can take care of getting the samples and sending them in. You’ve been stressed enough over this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
God bless.***************************************************************************Aint nuthin’ gonna break my stride; aint nuthin’ gonna slow me down; oh no,oh no; I got to keep on goin’…Fantastic, Kathryn! Have a great day at work. ***************************************************************************Aint nuthin’ gonna break my stride; aint nuthin’ gonna slow me down; oh no,oh no; I got to keep on goin’…
Gee, Kathryn, Sasha is very much your business. This whole situation is very much your business. You are not on the outside looking in, you are right in it. Your life is being affected right along with everyone else’s and you have a right to be completely involved. You are not an intruder, this is your family. No one would expect anything less than your complete involvement. Perhaps you should rethink your decision not to go with your kids to meet Sasha. This is a huge thing for your family and you should be part of this meeting unless you really think it will be too emotionally rough. In any case, stay strong. This will all work out eventually.
God bless.***************************************************************************Aint nuthin’ gonna break my stride; aint nuthin’ gonna slow me down; oh no,oh no; I got to keep on goin’…Hello Kathryn,
I’m glad things are looking brighter. I wish you all the best.
ChrisKeep on keepin’ on…and keep the pledge.Okay, good. You’re starting to come out of the fog and think how to deal with this situation logically and reasonably. Once the initial trauma wears off, you will quit crying, and still be standing. Tomorrow will be a better day.
Shalom. (It means "nothing lost; nothing broken.")Keep on keepin’ on…and keep the pledge.I’ve always thought betrayal was an intentional act. Did he intentionally knock up this woman just to vex you? Did you feel that when you were split up from your husband you were betraying him by seeing someone else (if you did)? What if you had been the one who got pregnant by a man other than your husband during that split up? Imagine how you would feel if he reacted as you are if the roles were reversed.
Yes, you have a right to be upset by the sudden shock of it all, but the anger is not helpful to you and may be creating a lot of unnecessary tension in your home.
Check your emotions at the door for a sec and be realistic. There’s a kid who says your husband is her father. So what if it turns out he is? Then what? Tear up the whole family with divorce because you are angry? I really don’t think you would do that. So, what’s the alternative? Crumble? I really don’t think you will do that either. Last option: Take a lesson from Brea. Take it in your stride and make the best of the situation as it unfolds. You can do it.
I hope you’re not mad at me. I am very supportive of you through this tough time. My heart goes out to you. It’s another obstacle, but life does this to us sometimes. We just gotta get through it, that’s all.
Peace, and blessings.Keep on keepin’ on…and keep the pledge.Kathryn, I know how frightening this thing must be. It is a shocking event, and I can’t imagine how I would respond if it happened to me. But, even if she turns out to be your husbands daughter, I doubt she would be any kind of threat to your family. Your family will stay together. I think if you don’t freak out, your kids won’t freak out either. They seem to follow the parents lead. There may be an adjustment period for everyone to get to know the child and reconcile with her place in your family, but I know you are a caring, compassionte woman and will not reject this girl. Has she grown up with no father at all?
Please don’t forget that every time you try to make a positive change in your life, obstacles seem to appear to try to trip you up. Don’t fall for it. You can rise above this and not let it throw you off balance. You are doing wonderful in recovery. You have demonstrated amazing inner strength. I just know you will be fine.
I am praying for you and your family.
God bless you.Keep on keepin’ on…and keep the pledge.I’m glad to see you had a great time at the football game. Thanks for the info, but I still don’t get football.
You’re a real team star, doing all the right things to win this game. And, you are very supportive of your teammates. (That would be us!)
God bless you. Keep on keepin’ on…and keep the pledge.Way to go, Kathryn! 25 days! That’s wonderful. I’m glad you have been helped by so many people here. I want to thank you for paying it forward and helping me and so many other people. You are very much appreciated and needed on this forum. Your advise is full of wisdom, insight and is spot on.
Blessings.
Keep on keepin’ on…and keep the pledge.Vera, I hope that voucher was computer generated or it would look like that is a little insensitive to tempt you that way. Gee…Glad you didn’t fall for it!
Originally posted by veraSame thing happened me, Al. Was at the beach , walking a couple of weeks ago and met a manager from the "sister" company.
He said " haven’t seen you etc etc ". I told him I self-excluded. almost seven months ago…He said "congrats, keep it up, I often noticed how much you lost and how little you ever won!" I felt like shrinking and crawling under a stone….
Later I was thinking " How come he doesn’t know, I’m banned??…" Maybe be just didn’t want to embarrass me by saying he did know. A few days later, I got a voucher for € 15 to go and play in " his" casino!!!
The plot thickens!
all the sevens
Keep on keepin’ on…and keep the pledge.– 7/5/2009 10:07:43 PM: post edited by compulsiveme.Very funny, Vera! That’s quite a scenario. Hmmm…come to think of it, I think I’ve seen that before. LOL.Keep on keepin’ on…and keep the pledge.