[dairyklimy]

there are no gam -abon meetings in my area so i join the codependents anonymous mtgs. there are some people in my coda meetings where addicts attend too. so we have common friends. it kinda makes me feel uncomfortable. and hard to open up. i feel like he is able to tell stories to other people. while i dont know about those. its wierd and sad. sometimes i dont feel like opening up. people arnd us are able to see the full picture.

[dairyklimy]

re doing great being supportive of his programme but the best support you can give him is to fill your life with good things that please you, things that maybe the addiction stopped you doing. — iv seen this in many readings.. why is taking care of me thebest way to help him?

if its not shutting out .. what is it? i feel so left out all alone. why cant ge even say hi or ask how i am..whats one text message ?

[dairyklimy]

of course i remember you vera. how have u been? hope well! take care!

[dairyklimy]

thanks Jenny.
it is really diffuicult to be with a CG.

[dairyklimy]

“…for me, taking care of myself means changing the things I can by protecting our joint finances and limiting his access to money (among other things). “– he has completely shut me out. he manages his money. he has completely detached from me. not even a word. for 1 week now. not even a compromise or a deal with me. i understand that he has to take care of himself.. but i wonder where he placed the relationship now. there is no relationship at all. he is just working on himself. i cannot accept that forever. you know i can understand and accept his meetings. but i cannot accept being shut out. of course i am not yet fully abke to understand what is going on. thats because he has not given me information.what is there even to understand?

“it has taken me a very long time to realize that my husband’s recovery is completely separate from mine and we must each be totally selfish doing what we need to do in the process.”– does that mean shutting out your partner completely? will that ever be an acceptable reason to shut out someone in your life esp your partner and blame the pressures all on her???? i cannot understand and accept that.

[dairyklimy]

i read this thread and it talks about the gamblrr when he engages in gambling the partner should disengage and shut him out. in my case its the reverse. my gambler is shutting me out. im not sure if he is still playing because he does it secretly and we do not live togther. but he tells me that he feels pressured and stressed in my presence or just even beginning to talk to me. and we have not even started a topic yet. i feel like he has a lot on his head. he has not been contacting me. thats why im confused. he is the one shutting me out. iv tried all ways yo compromise with him just so we could work out a relationshp. but all he tells me is how he wants space.. anf i guess that means having zero contact. i guess thats his way of working on his recovery. which i really dont get. abd cant get. whats making sure we talk even for just once a day…. i feel so left out and alone.

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