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  • in reply to: BELIEVE (new thread) #21871
    daisy56
    Participant

    Hi Kathryn,
    It is scary now that we are asking ourselves to face things that come along and not using avoidance and zoning out with gambling as a way to manage. You have certainly had mega big ‘things’ to face lately and you should be very proud with how you have coped. It is great that as you think about stuff you can see the positives in amongst the craziness.
    Thanks for your good advice to me too.
    Alison

    in reply to: BELIEVE (new thread) #21861
    daisy56
    Participant

    Well done on your happy weekend in Sydney and enjoying everything without gambling. What a great feeling! Sydney is so good as a holiday place.
    I wish I could say my weekend was good too, as it should have been and as I had planned, but I gambled and I’m ashamed and disgusted with the stupid decision I made. But when I get such great encouragement from people like you, I knew I had to come back on and do everything and more that had been working and get it right. 
    Thanks for your support and for your descriptions of how full and good life is when you fill it with family and trips and work.
    Alison 

    in reply to: BELIEVE (new thread) #21844
    daisy56
    Participant

    Enjoy Sydney, Kathryn, great place to spend a weekend! (I grew up in Sydney.) So many beautiful sights to see and shopping to spend your money on! Put your thoughts into those things, not thinking about other places you could go where you’d waste your time.
    Thanks for writing Tim’s advice about active recovery – that makes a lot of sense to me right now. I am getting exhausted with how active I have to be with this recovery, but we just have to keep on keeping on!
    Look forward to hearing how your weekend goes.
    Alison

    in reply to: BELIEVE (new thread) #21821
    daisy56
    Participant

    I’m guessing Kathryn that you are beating yourself up about not helping your friend much more than she is thinking you weren’t there. I’m sure you both helped each other out lots of times so it evens out. You don’t count the times when you are good friends.
    It’s great how you describe your days and how busy they are – reminding all of us that busyiness is good in our lives and we don’t need to have that fake rush and zoning out that we used to look for. It never really brought any pleasure, whereas living in the moment, even when it is tiring and we complain about working too hard, is good.
    Hope you can keep the walking going. I’m going to do better with it – I actually enjoy walking around my neighbourhood and checking out people’s gardens!
    Alison

    in reply to: BELIEVE (new thread) #21815
    daisy56
    Participant

    Good to chat with you tonight Kathryn. Thanks for the encouragement! How good that is that you and your husband are connecting so well (in every way, thanks for that!) Sometimes we all need a shock to make us appreciate what we have, unfortunately.
    I think I have done the same with really thinking about what my gambling has done, reading people’s stories about how they have lost the good parts of their lives and hoping that I have stopped in time before I risked affecting my relationship. How could we ever have thought feeding money into a machine was better than sharing a life with another person?
    I know I feel ok with signing my posts with my own name, but then there aren’t many of us aussies so it does feel easier. I know that I am a bit nervous about starting counselling in a nearby suburb and wondering if the people will know me or about me. I teach high school so I know lots of people and even more know me by sight. Well too bad – I’m not doing anything wrong – for once! better than seeing me at the pokies!
    Keep on with the walking – it gets easier really!
    Alison

    in reply to: BELIEVE (new thread) #21800
    daisy56
    Participant

    Hi Kathryn,
    It is good seeing you write down how things are going as you work through everything that is happening. It can help you see what is important to focus on amidst the hurt; being able to talk to your daughter and your sister and your husband and taking the time to come on here and try to explain it all. Some of the anger will go with each time you describe how you feel.
    Keep on being kind to yourself as much as you can and remembering all the good stuff you do and how well you are doing. As you said you will be alright.
    Thanks for your comments to me about self excluding. I went along this morning, talked about it and signed the papers! It went really well and I signed for the maximum time of 2 years. As I said when he asked how long – I’m not going anymore so give me the most time I can. I felt strong and certain that it was the right choice. He also gave me a contact for counselling so I will ring to organise that. I am going to do everything that is offered to make sure I do this properly. I did feel a little sad or some sort of feeling as I was driving home that it was all over, but I have felt so much more alive and happy this week. On to new ways to fill our lives. Thank you so much for encouraging me and being generous with your advice.
    Take care and thinking of you tomorrow.
    Alison

    in reply to: BELIEVE (new thread) #21794
    daisy56
    Participant

    Hi Kathryn,
    Just wanted to say hope you are being kind to yourself and taking little steps to help get through the thousand thoughts going through your mind. You know how much you have put in over the years to build a life for yourself and your family and that is still there. I won’t say more as I don’t want to presume anything, but I do know how much you give to people here so give to yourself too.
    I also will let you know I have an appointment tomorrow to organise self exclusion and counselling as well if I want. I’m actually looking forward to it. Thanks for your support.
    Take care
    Alison

    in reply to: BELIEVE (new thread) #21786
    daisy56
    Participant

    Good on you for saying you need to talk and keep talking and being able to come on to the site and start trying to make some sense of everything that has been happening, Kathryn. You must be going through so many different feelings about this information and what you are meant to do about it.
    I am sure your daughter is glad you didn’t leave her out of it all. She would have felt so confused about people being upset and angry and she can show you you’re her mum and a special person.
    Take care of yourself as best you can, one day or hour at a time and so good for not adding gambling pain to it all.
    Alison — 9/07/2009 2:25:33 AM: post edited by daisy56.

    in reply to: BELIEVE (new thread) #21777
    daisy56
    Participant

    hi Kathryn,
    I have worked out the threads and posted mine today. I just decided I would read your thread from the beginning and it has been so good to read. You are willing to give so much and show the ups and downs as each day goes, which helps all of us. I am not surprised you have such a good friend and lovely kids. It reflects the sort of person you are.
    My mum is in a retirement village and I so much admire the people who work with the aged. They are very special people, always happy and so patient, so good on you. Don’t feel bad when you have a ‘mental health’ day – you have earnt it!
    You live in a lovely area. I have always loved the beach, must be because I am a pisces! I have started walking again, now that I have so much extra time and nothing beats being able to walk along the beach and breathe in the fresh air.
    Take care and the kids’ holidays will soon be over! I know – I’m on school holidays, handing the kids over to their parents for the two weeks and giving myself a break!
    5 days and feeling good!
    Alison

    in reply to: BELIEVE (new thread) #21771
    daisy56
    Participant

    Hi Kathryn,
    I haven’t started a thread – I just jumped on a thread and wrote something and I think yours was the first I read. I haven’t really worked out how everything is set up. Give some advice about how the threads work if you like.
    My three daughters support the Saints, with their dad, who has supported them all his life, so I suppose that can be my team too – especially since they are doing so well this year!
    I live in Melbourne and love it. Grew up in Sydney and born in Adelaide! where are you, if you want to say?
    I like the idea of wrinkle cream – something to aim for!!
    I was interested in listening in on the women’s group session on Wednesday. Is it 10pm our time and do I just click on the connect sign. I got on to the live advice lifeline today to try it, which was good.
    Thanks for replying,
    Alison  (Daisy is my sign in so I have probably confused things!)

    in reply to: BELIEVE (new thread) #21769
    daisy56
    Participant

    Hi Kathryn,
    Well done describing our game of footy! I’m not an avid fan and don’t particularly support a team, but I do think it is a great team game to watch. It is skilful, fast and has plenty of chances to score, so it keeps it exciting.
    Thanks for the time you take to write about your day and help us all remember there is plenty of good living to do every day.
    I am on day 4 of joining this forum and choosing to be gamble free. It is good to be amongst friends. I feel like I am coasting at the moment because I have no money to gamble, pay day is a while off, so it almost feels like cheating to say I am gamble free. But I know that everything I read and plan before the dreaded pay day can ensure that my first gamble free pay day will be just another day. My partner supports me, she will take my ATM cards for me and I will plan my day to be very busy. And I will keep reading all the great ideas everyone so generously offers.
    Thanks. Here’s to good choices
    Alison

    in reply to: BELIEVE (new thread) #21755
    daisy56
    Participant

    There is so much said here that I connect with and that gives me the feeling that I can start adding up the gamble free days and really do it. I am going to talk to my partner tonight, who likes gambling too and introduced me to it, and tell her what I have done today. Then I will work out how excluding myself is the way to go. At least I know she will be supportive. Thanks 

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