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  • gvralls
    Participant

    Hi Patient Man. I read everything you wrote. Unfortunately I can’t give you a lot of advice, but perhaps by sharing stories we can engage in some therapy of our own.

    I can relate to the way you brought her over from another country. My first wife (mother of my kids) I married overseas as a student in her country. Perhaps 5 times in 20 years we celebrated a family birthday at a local casino because of their wonderful buffet, and I’d step out alone with a $20 bill for the slots. That was it.

    Almost exactly three years ago I met Nguyen (Vietnamese, I’m guessing your wife is not Vietnamese by the way, based on a few things you mentioned).

    Nguyen can spend 12 or 18 hours in a casino no problem, exactly like your wife. 3 or 4 days a week? Yes she’d love that too. She’s a raging gambling addict, and she plays cards. She literally never wins because if she gets ahead she just keeps playing until her money is all gone.

    Like you, I enabled her to gamble because I’d go there too. Just like you describe, I’d sit there and get really bored.

    Something you described is what I’ve predicted could happen to me. With regard to your Parkinsons (which I know people can live good lives with Parkinsons for years and years, and I’m optimistic for you too), what you describe is very cruel. In the moment of your deepest need, she throws things and walks away as you clean it up. She’s walking all over you. Her number one love is gambling and she will not likely quit.

    The only thing that helped Nguyen is that casinos allow people to voluntarily ban themselves. You can likely get her to do that for one year. Nguyen did it. They know exactly who your wife is and won’t let her in, provided she signs a paper and agrees to it. The risk is that she will find another casino, but maybe not.

    I would like to know why your wife hates your family so much. I am guessing they didn’t do much of anything wrong. Nguyen is just like that. It took me awhile to recognize it. Anytime I talk to my mom or deal with my lovely daughter, Nguyen changes tone and has to hold herself back. I can see she despises the fact that I have family that cares about me, because they can get in the way of her access to what I own, and she feels my time belongs to her.

    Nguyen is a really good cook, among other things that I like about her. We constantly fight though, it’s always things she says. Nguyen doesn’t ‘Rage’ however. Can you tell me why you use the term ‘Rage’ and what sets your wife off? Nguyen was born at the height of the Vietnam war, and she grew up listening to guns all night. Lost family members in the war. I believe she suffers from mental trauma of that tragedy in her life, and that is a big reason why she is drawn to casinos.

    I hope this helps in some way. Thank you for posting here. It means a lot to me to hear what you’re going through.

    in reply to: 6 Day Binge #6915
    gvralls
    Participant

    Thanks for your message. Nguyen only works a few hours a week and all of that money is spent on the basic necessities. Fortunately she setup an Airbnb in their home so that helps too. When we are together I buy whatever she needs but usually she just wants money to gamble, not anything else aside from food. I’ve asked to take her shopping but that seems to just spark her mood swing into ‘I just need two hundred dollars’. I give her money to take home. She is very creative and helps in my business dealings at work and I give her generously for extra profit that I can connect to her assistance. Without going into further detail she and I seem to do well as a pair but it pains me to see her dump everything into casinos.

    As a side note, her friend owns a popular restaurant and has basically nothing to her name even though she is bringing in $4000 cash sales a day. She gambles around $2000 a day and apparently loses it all and keeps going back. That’s been going on over 10 years. Being part of Nguyen’s life, I hear a lot of stories along this line.

    I’ve spoken with her at length about counseling. She knows that she is addicted, of course. She knows that there are people ‘who talk’ and they meet all the time. She’s Vietnamese and closely connected to that community. She says, perhaps she may be wrong, but she says ‘English people do that. None of my people do that. We sign paper to ban ourselves.’

    This is where it gets complicated a bit because a boundary line separates us even though we both live close to it, and where she is from there’s only one casino and she’s banned herself. But where I live there are probably 15 choices within 1 hour drive and I don’t think they take the bans seriously, though she said she’s willing to ban herself at all of them. What do you think? Take her to all the casinos and have her get banned? Three of these in particular have generous rewards cards point schemes and I’d love to see her cut those up. Those casinos say that if you ban yourself you’re not supposed to enter, and you will definitely not be issued a loyalty card.

    It could be the road to recovery; however she is REALLY anxious about going to Las Vegas so if she bans herself here it might create more anxiety about somehow getting to Vegas.

    Nguyen fell off the deep end about 8 weeks ago, into a dark area of extreme gambling. Since then, my resolve to help her has grown stronger and I acknowledge I probably could have handled it differently before. Thanks.

    in reply to: Does he really get GA this time? #6880
    gvralls
    Participant

    Hi. I enjoy your posts here, in particular about the changes in personality. I see that with my girlfriend. When she is determined to gamble she will do anything to get away from me and get into a casino. I guess the normal way is she just starts a fight over the most trivial issue then that gives her the right, so-to-speak, to walk out the door.

    Also interested to know what you mean about residual chemicals in the brain. Is there some type of evidence if a person has gambled day after day, they get a build up in their brain that remains, for how long? One week, one month?

    Another question is: when one attends these meetings, are there success stories held up as role models? Are there significant percentages of CG, who attend GA, and quit forever?

    My girlfriend is a raging CG but she says a few things about it.

    1. She is only CG because nobody else has ‘lifted her up’ and given her enough money and security to let her feel she doesn’t need casinos to make money. Of course this is absurd because she ALWAYS loses.

    2. She has ‘quit before for two years’. Apparently there was a period around 2012-2014 when she totally quit going to casinos. I’m not sure of this but it only lasted two years, after all.

    I’m thinking that CG, for the vast majority, is a habit that simply never gets kicked. A type of terminal illness. I could be wrong but discussions with my girlfriend of others she knows, and from what I’ve read, once an addicted gambler: always an addicted gambler.

    To that end, I tried to tolerate her gambling by saying she can go to casino if she only goes inside with $60 or $80. With that amount she still feels ok because it is, after all, playing cards. I described that here last year and was told I’m just part of the problem, an enabler.

    So what’s happening now is that she has been drawn into a really deep addiction. Much more than before, when she could go several days or a week without gambling. Now she’s running on a different level; living in a state of complete focus on gambling no matter what the consequences. I can’t imagine what it’s like for her. I also can’t imagine her ever quitting.

    Well, sorry to inject that into your discussion but your comments brought up some things I’d like to share and ask.

    in reply to: What To Do? #6668
    gvralls
    Participant

    Yes Nguyen says the same thing. I’m going to die. She also said that for years she has thought about killing her self. I suppose it might be a manipulation tactic.

    I can see your point about your daughter. I can relate. My dad is a really nice guy but he has some skeletons in the closet that just came out and I’ll be darned it’s the same type of thing I’ve done too. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Your daughter has the scheming mom and dirt bag biological father. How will she emerge as an adult ?

    Interesting comments regarding your first wife. I guess you can try to see the humor in it. She was really loose. Look how far you came from all that. Well done.

    You might consider Mexico specifically Lake Chappala or other such locale. Excellent weather and fine social scene. Very inexpensive. You owe it to yourself. You may not agree with my advice but I’d consider going your own way but remain married on paper. Put as much funds into your control by any means. Legal divorce at ideal time for you.

    Nguyen is still absolutely drop dead gorgeous and the best cook I’ve ever imagined. I can’t seem to move on but now I’m planning a trip overseas with my son. Maybe I’ll get my head on straight. My first wife was super honest and gave me three very good kids but she was clueless on how to accomplish anything. Like I had to babysit her. Zero affection. Worst cook too. Obscenely bad in the kitchen. Then she got fat and wanted to live out her life like an 80 year old. From that background I found Nguyen and I’m weak. Everywhere I go I’m with the prettiest girl on my arm. It’s hard not to live for the day.

    Keep posting updates.

    in reply to: What To Do? #6666
    gvralls
    Participant

    HI Diego.

    Thanks for your messages. I didn’t have time to respond and wanted to think about it. For the most part I think just sharing with you some of my own experiences can help us both in dealing with this poisonous addiction.

    As far as your situation is concerned, I would suggest same as Velvet and think about your daughter as your own (as she is). She may act differently to you but you’re the one she loves and she loves everything about YOU. Millions of couples (I think millions!!) would love to have a child but don’t get that chance. Just saying what I think.

    As far as Nguyen goes, she is the most severe addict in every sense. I have been observing her more closely. I even think I have some mental issues of my own, for carrying on with her, but I do. I explain it away as a physical attraction (there is nobody in the world that sets my heart beating than when I simply look at her she is absolutely the most gorgeous woman on earth to me) and her cooking of course. We get along so well together too. But she goes into raging moods of terrible ranting and raving at no provocation, and cuts into me with insults, it’s really bizarre how I can keep taking it. Then she’s back to normal. Last week we had a particular episode.

    She got caught by me wasting tons of time and thousands of dollars at a casino near her home, and admitted that her self-ban had lapsed so she could go anytime. So November through March she was a raging player again and lost all the money I had helped her with to stay afloat.

    One thing I noticed is that I had given her about $1000 to pay bills and she disappeared for 5 hours then called me and went into a raging assault of what a jerk I am. Now I know the cycle. She loses in casinos then takes it out on me. Rotten!

    The next thing she did was last week, she is a really hard worker and very sharp in every sense, and we were rebuilding some things at a rental property I own. She was such a pleasure to work with, always cooking and really helping a lot. Well I had given her $400 to pay for groceries or whatever, so that was a lot of cash burning in her wallet. Out of nowhere she started talking bad things and really ticked me off. We engaged in a fight there because I was just sick of her rotten words. You know the rest of the story right? She walked out the door and said she will go see her brother, who lives not far, and she’d be back in two hours. 6 hours later she was back and the wallet was empty. So what I am dealing with is someone who simply can NOT hold any money otherwise she barks like a dog until someone kicks her and she runs off to the casino. I can’t think of a worse level of that addiction. She’s feeling really down about what she did and I’m thinking of ways to keep her on solid ground without ever letting her hold money. She did self-ban again in her home town but I’m in a different region.

    Well anything you want to share is appreciated too. Take care.

    in reply to: What To Do? #6661
    gvralls
    Participant

    Thanks — I was hoping you’d reply.  I hope others chime in with other advice rather than just my perspective.

    I can understand the frustration of going to social events and being surrounded by the VN language & left out; however, as a counter to that, my first wife of 23 years (from a different Asian country) was totally anti-social and we had a life of ZERO friends, family, social gatherings. Ever.  Just the two of us.  Frankly I’d rather be in your situation.

    Regarding cooking and cleaning, again that’s a nice component of any relationship. My first wife was the worst cook, could spend all day reading and measuring only to come up with a barely-edible pile of luke warm food. Year after year never improved. I had to cook myself. On cleaning the house, she was worse than her cooking skills. Hard to believe how filthy and cluttered our house was, it was horrendous! I had to do it all.

    My girlfriend Nguyen cooks the most delicious food and keeps the tidiest house. 

    My suggestions are:
    Consider keeping her as your wife, take the good with the bad

    Forgive her for getting pregnant with the other guy. She brought the gift of that daughter you raised and all the joy that comes with it, for you and the daughter. It sounds like for years she didn’t conceive a child with you. Perhaps you may never have had a child unless this occured. I see it as a blessing.

    Is it possible to disallow credit be granted to a given person?  LIke an opt-out system. That would really control the amount of money she can squander.

    I’ve spent a lot of time perusing stories online about gambling addiction. This forum is a good one for sure. Most people tell a different version of the same story. A common thread is that when a person decides to leave a relationship with a gambling addict, that person sees a big improvement in their life, not having to deal with the mental tortue that comes with it.  Another common thread is that the gambler never stops.  They may for a year or so, but gambling addiction is super strong and seems to stay with every person until they die.  A few lucky people can go to special therapy meetings but that seems to be a western ideology that isn’t congruent with Asian culture. So most likely your wife will never stop, only you can find a way to limit her access to funds.

    If you do proceed with a divorce, I still think you can play the same game to your wife that she’s played to you.  Everyone says that gamblers lie about money! So think creatively about how you can concoct a way to extract $300,000 from your assets so that she can’t touch them. I could give you ideas but you know the drill. Brainstorm as if you were addicted to gambling, and come up with something. Then divorce in two years and walk away 50/50 what’s left.

    And by the way your family seems a lot more sophisticated than Nguyen’s. They’re all “Nail Store” owners, dope growers, and there’s an odd real estate agent in the mix.  That’s about it.  

    Good Luck! Keep posting updates.

    in reply to: What To Do? #6659
    gvralls
    Participant

    Hi SISD,

    Enjoyed your post. I can offer some advice and perhaps share what happened to me as a type of therapeutic response.

    I guess you know a lot about your wife’s culture, having been involved so many years. What I have found from being involved with a Vietnamese woman for the last 3 years has been highly intriguing, to put it nicely. My girlfriend ‘Nguyen’ (now 54) was an enterprising business owner and physically: extremely attractive. All of her money was lost in casinos, every bit of it. She also had longterm boyfriends who were casino addicts. They struggled constantly because thousands were squandered playing cards. She could play for hours and hours, always playing until her money was gone.

    She points to the large group of family and friends (tight knit) who own lots of homes and have successful businesses and gamble every day. So she’s just been unlucky, look at all these other winners!

    Nguyen has a type of bi-polar disorder, wherein she could be very pleasant and understanding one day, then fly into extreme verbal abuse on no provocation. She was also a liar, would lie about anything, and lie all the time. This did cause me some breathing problems also. It seems she just could not get through a given 3 day period without engaging in a brutal argument then calming down. I was a punching bag for a long time. I believe the gambling addiction is related to some other neurological issues. Her style of communication is really abrasive even when not flipping out for no reason.

    One thing I really enjoyed with her was just talking for hours about what goes on among her tight-knit VN community. The amount of extramarital affairs is really mind-boggling, at least among her group. She knows 0 people who haven’t been divorced. Men would move in on married women constantly, and there’s no shame in being promiscuous. Women take whatever they like, it seems. What happened to you is just par for the course. Prior to dating Nguyen I had no idea.

    I have assets as well, similar to what you’ve built up. I’d suggest getting as much funds into cash over the next two years, convert to gold and hide it. Highly unlikely you’ll lose purchasing power with gold bullion, and it’s totally anonymous. Make sure you get at least the amount she lost in casinos, add 50%, and target that for your take. Totally do-able. Look at all the cash she dumped. You can rightfully claim similar losses, should it ever come to that. You should be able to figure out how to get there.

    Don’t give up on sex. Such is the spice of life. Find someone. Distance yourself from her but stay married. Who cares about the paper agreement. Take a page out of the book I’ve come to learn. Almost every VN person in my girl’s community does not get paper marriage because they can get money ($30,000 is going rate I’ve been told) by marrying a person in Vietnam (fake marriage), bring them to US then divorce two years later. So you have couples who live together as husband and wife, both getting paid to bring legal spouses over. Perhaps your wife’s family and friends are not doing this.

    You can work it out somehow. Look at it this way, the more she gets in the eventual divorce, the more she will lose gambling.

    in reply to: New girlfriend – and she’s a gambler #5620
    gvralls
    Participant

    Coming back to apologize for not understanding my situation two years ago and hopefully help others who may be in a similar ordeal.

    When I first started this thread I was so new to being in a relationship with a GC. I’ve learned a lot. Now two years of constant ups and downs with Nguyen but the last few weeks might finally see us go separate ways.

    One thing I didn’t mention before is I feel I should help those who have suffered before, my personality. I was nearly killed several times (almost drowned, two times within milliseconds of severe accident, and not too long ago beat a deadly cancer via lucky early detection). I almost killed a family member by accident too. I tend to have the attitude that I should be dead by now anyway, why not help others. Nguyen grew up in a war zone. I had two different fortune tellers tell me that she and I were lovers in a past life. Right or wrong, I feel an extreme connection to her and likewise I believe she’s sincere in loving me. We’ve never lost our affection for each other. I am always very kind to her, at least I mean it that way.

    Nguyen shows a bi-polar tendency (maybe related to gambling). One day she’s really pleasant and the best person I could ever hope for. The next she’s verbally abusive no matter what I do, on and on with her mean comments. I’ve really taken a beating from her but she always calms down and we go back to lovey dovey.

    When she is down and out she says really cruel things to me and about me. A constant uncertainty of never knowing when she will get depressed and attack me. I have pleaded with her to see a doctor, and she has once but the outcome didn’t change anything.

    At work in her nail salon they play cards when waiting for customers. Card playing is just what they do, the game is called 13.

    When I’m with her I get really productive with my work, in the creative department. I own a company and creative work always leads to greater sales. Without Nguyen I tend to not create anything but give me 5-6 days with her and I really crank out some great things.

    I am guilty of saying ok Nguyen I know you love to play cards I’ll take you to the casino and give you $80 to play. Not $200 or $300 but $80. And sometimes she can stretch that out to 8 hours of playing time! But she has NEVER EVER won. Not one dollar. She plays until it’s gone.

    I sold one of my properties last year probably at the peak of the market and invested in a different thing that has turned out to be better than expected. I paid off her car loan (and on that day she was in one of her bi-polar meltdown modes for no reason, you’d think she’d be happy to kiss the car loan good bye) and I’ve been helping her with whatever she needs along the way. It’s just the constant fights over nothing that causes me to not commit to a more permanent relationship, we maintain separate homes.

    I kept telling her to not start a fight for just a few days (!) and she can’t do that. I am a glutton for punishment. Nguyen and I have always dreamed of starting a small business and I sincerely believe in her, she’s really sharp at business and ran a few before.

    Well a few weeks ago I gave her $80 and said I’ll be back in half hour because I had to do something across town. I was just a little bit late, so what! Had she won with that $80 she would have kept playing and everything fine — but she lost before I got back to pick her up. She started sending me horrific text messages about what a terrible man I am, and she wants me to take her to her cousin’s house, etc etc. She gets really mean. I realized that every time she’s super angry to me, it has nothing to do with what I did! It’s her blaming other things on me. I had never seen this in her but it explains a lot. She gave me a half-baked apology and if I bring that up she changes the subject quickly.

    I was with her for all of last week and everything was great. No gambling just enjoying life and she was more pleasant than ever. Her nephew is getting married overseas soon and we are planning to go for a one month trip. She’s moving into a new apartment soon, with roommates. The new setup will help her spend a lot less on rent and hopefully more time with me.

    I know moving is stressful and she needs some help so I gave her $1100 sealed in an envelope and said absolutely DO NOT stop at the casino on the way home. She needs that money to move into the new place. I felt stupid I had to even deal with sealing that envelope and I asked her to take a picture of the money and send it to me as soon as she got home. Well what she did was disappear for 7 hours, tell me her phone wasn’t working, and I got a picture of the money on her car seat at 8:00 PM but it was clearly taken in the daylight. So she opened the envelope, took the picture mid-day, and went inside to lose all the money. But she had the picture to send me later. I didn’t buy any of it. She was home late and wouldn’t send me a picture of the money and I just feel like the last few weeks I have pulled my head out of my bum and said ENOUGH. No more of this. And by the way she pulled the same missing money trick once before.

    Well I am sorry for al the rambling but if this is typical or rings a bell with others please let me know. Thank you!

    in reply to: How to leave my gambling boyfriend #6045
    gvralls
    Participant

    I can tell you what happened to me, with a CG girlfriend.

    Prior to her I might go into a casino once a year for a seafood buffet then chance $20 on a slot machine. That’s it!

    Girlfriend is a severe addict who spent years losing money but never short of cash due to running a restaurant. Eventually racked up $50k in credit card debt and declared bankruptcy. I met her a couple years after that.

    I was foolish and accompanied her into casinos where she’d play a couple hundred then I’d say time to go. I should have never condoned this because it just allowed her to gamble.

    Here’s what she does to emotionally manipulate me. It sounds familiar. She gets really nasty with her words and makes me feel rotten, as she has a way of interrogating me and putting me on the defense. She just opens conversations by suggesting I’ve done something wrong or have been bad in some way or another. Obviously I don’t respond very well to this and an argument erupts.

    Every single time, she retreats by calling herself names. She says she’s not good. She has no money so I don’t love her. She isn’t good for whatever reason. She sulks back seeking sympathy. Every time ! Sounds a bit like your Prince Charming. I’ve had it. Suggest you move on to a more loving relationship.

    in reply to: New girlfriend – and she’s a gambler #5619
    gvralls
    Participant

    She has a boring job and her boss lets her take time off. Her bills are about $2000 per month. Rent, car, etc. in all honesty, when I take her away from the boring job, we eat well and get long nights of sletp, take walks during the day, cuddle and watch movies at night, it’s a pretty good life. We’ve been doing this about 50% of the time. On a given month we spend 15 days together. If I fight help her pay the bills, it won’t happen. I’ve met all of her family, and we are a couple.

    I don’t deny her the odd one hour stop at a casino from time to time. Because of that , I’m a bad influence according to you who posted above. The way I see it, she plays very little and I’m always with her. I read stories here that describe long disappearances and endless deceit. Nguyen hasn’t shown me that she’s reckless. Perhaps that day comes later. It’s her mood swings and sudden nastiness that gets me.

    Well, sorry if this is upsetting. I’ll post less if it’s somehow antagonizing to share this experience .

    in reply to: New girlfriend – and she’s a gambler #5616
    gvralls
    Participant

    Nguyen doesn’t participate in any online forums.

    Aside from her gambling , she has an unstable personality. I showered her with kindness and she was always deeply affectionate. I needed that.

    It was hard for her to enjoy the best of times. For example the six day trip we just finished. No work. Just sleeping in and eating well at my apartment in another state we’d run off to together.

    She’d always come up with some type of conspiracy theory that I no longer loved her. Or I’d changed my determination to be with her forever. Out of the blue she opens her mouth and started arguments. I could treat her like royalty yet she’d start to sulk and whine about one thing or another. Here I was giving her all I could. Frankly better than I ever imagined taking care of another person. All I could do was fight back and get angry at her for dreaming up these reasons to attack me. It went on and on.

    Despite the long distance between us, I made sure we were together at least every week and often for 5 days at a time. I gave her money to pay her bills because she missed work being with me. Not a lot. $600 or so every time she was away. Not a lot to me.

    In terms of gambling. That’s an interesting story. Nguyen spent years running a business that fetched cash income. She’s a very hard worker. All of her cash went into casinos. Eventually she hooked up with a guy that had a more mainstream job, Nguyen racked up massive credit card debt and went bankrupt. So there were no funds to be a high roller. In fact now she has less than $2000 to her name.

    With so little funds, not a lot of income (she works when not with me) she plays cards conservatively. She might lose $80 or $125 then exit. Go back another time and win $40 and leave. Go back and win $200 then lose half of that and call it a day with a small gain. She may be hoping I’ll tie the knot with her then she can up the stakes and get back into VIP.

    We left each other today on a really sour note. I need to move on because of her uncalled for verbal attacks. They really eat me. She just called and apologized and said she will stop it. Perhaps the same character trait that led her to financial ruin at the blackjack table is also revealed in the way she runs her mouth uncontrollably, directed at the person who loves her.

    I hope this ends well for both of us. She may become a headache for me, if she insists on staying together. I know she can’t change this running of her mouth. And she probably doesn’t like the idea of losing my kindness and financial support.

    in reply to: New girlfriend – and she’s a gambler #5613
    gvralls
    Participant

    Friends. I can answer the questions. Thank you for the dialogue.

    We live several hours away from each other.

    She wanted us to meet at a place where a casino is nearby. It’s where there is also a ferry that goes from her home to my location.

    My plan was to meet there and go camping. She said ok. As it turns out I got stuck, was late to the ferry terminal. Like an hour late. I used Uber to get her a ride from the ferry to the casino, where she’d be ok until I got there.

    I’m pretty sure she lost $200. She’s a good player and was at a blackjack table with $5 chips. She still had over $100 but after I got there it went pretty quick and we left.

    Nguyen has very little money. She’s moving into a new place soon and needs to save for those expenses.

    So. We just had a weekend together. August 7 was the one year anniversary of our meeting. We met online. It wasn’t until November that we met face to face.

    August 7 was a full moon. We took my RV to a secluded forest on a beautiful island. As always, Nguyen cooked the finest meals I’ve ever eaten. Over and over she cooks. Her skill with a knife, taste, ingredients. You simply can not believe how good she cooks!! Like a five star meal even with a handful of things.

    Nguyen is gorgeous and sexy, as I’ve said. You can imagine just how good I feel, as a healthy fully-functioning man, to be with her for a few days like that.

    There is still my gut instinct. This life of deception. I believe all the years in casinos, and perhaps growing up in a war then all she endured as a refugee, I just sense that she’s playing me. Manipulating. It’s her nature. And at it’s core is a compulsive gambler. I think she’s always got a backup plan and looks at me as easily directed. Just talk sweet and get near a kitchen. She can get anything she wants. Through it all, I sense a staged, empty love. It’s so sad. I’ve never felt so determined to step back and get out.

    in reply to: New girlfriend – and she’s a gambler #5609
    gvralls
    Participant

    Real person for sure here.

    We went to casino. Or I should we meet there. She lost $200 in about 45 minutes and left. Seemed to bring back bad memories, she said she regretted going there.

    in reply to: New girlfriend – and she’s a gambler #5606
    gvralls
    Participant

    Hi. I’ve been spending more time with Nguyen . I bought a small apartment building in a city that incredibly has NO casinos within a 3 hour drive. Didn’t think such place existed. Nguyen has been helping me fix up the place. From what I can tell she doesn’t care much for gambling.

    I’ve decided I hate gambling. Initially I thought it was ok and kinda cute in a way. I had zero experience with casinos.

    Nguyen started pushing really hard for a one day trip to a place with casino. Do gamblers keep it pent up, and if they don’t wager money over course of a month it two, go into withdrawals or what?

    in reply to: New girlfriend – and she’s a gambler #5603
    gvralls
    Participant

    Hi. Thanks for your continued interest. She is playing me but insists it’s true love blah blah. I just spent a weekend with her. It’s so hard to shake her, the love is like a drug. As time goes on I know my gut is right and she’s not good for me. But how to stop it, takes strength. She does have a type of multiple personality issue, where she flips and says terrible things then apologizes later. I think frankly that despite my kind demeanor and determination to be good to her, she’s losing patience and will start trolling for a new benefactor using her gorgeous looks and ability to strike up a conversation. I wish I had better guidance on how to ‘say goodbye’ because I don’t think this is a good long-term deal.

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