[Hawkman]

Thank you for the support. I feel I will be here often trying to get this under control.

[Hawkman]

I am going to take steps this week to get my finances under control — debt consolidation — and then no more slots. It has taken years but I admit I am an addict. Something in my brain does not know how to say “stop chasing losses” or “you won; walk away.” Due to not being able to stop I can never win. When I win, I just lose it all back that day or the next. So why go? I can never win. I am an addict. I need to write that again to get it in my head. I cannot start because I cannot stop.

[Hawkman]

The best slot experience now is going to be NO slot experience.

[Hawkman]

Thanks for the replies. I screwed up and wasted money on slots this weekend. I know better. I want to stop but wasted a huge part of Saturday off and on at the slots. Lost more money that could have gone to debt. I am back on the wagon. Today is day one. I am ready again. I am going to tell myself daily, “I can’t start because I can’t stop.”

[Hawkman]

Thanks all. I feel good because today I did not stop at the casino on the way home and did not play. I did yard work and played with my kiddo, normal life. I am determined this time I am done. I never really had a big problem and went to the boats off and on for fun. It was last fall that really started the problem/ Something snapped and I just didn’t stop this time like I used to do. I think I stopped for most of January but then started up. I am done though. I like what someone said on here, “I may not be able to stop but I can NOT start.” I am making that my mental message.

[Hawkman]

Why do I never learn……….. this is the question I ask myself time and time again………in fact I have asked it all my life…………

I can relate to this message. I feel like I take one step forward and two back some years. I beat drinking and can stop slots, though. I drank heavily for 10 years and it took another 10 of stopping and starting to really stop. I just finally realized it was never going to be enjoyable again or something I can do. I feel like it is finally sinking in with slots. It was fun at first but after so many negative gambling experiences and years of “should I/shouldn’t I do it” and kicking myself…I have no control when it comes to slots. It is best not to start again. It is not a way to make money and not much fun anymore either…just stressful and easy to lose control over. If I didn’t have a problem I would not think about it so much or analyze my behavior so much.

[Hawkman]

welcome to the forum…this is third day of not going to the casino for me. I am determined to not go back this time. It is not the way to make money and only causes me more stress.

[Hawkman]

I can relate to many posts. I had stopped going to casinos in June and then went this past week and lost a couple hundred that I don’t have. I have debt I need to pay off but keep going to the slots. It’s insane. No, it is an addiction. I admit that now. I did before but don’t think I really felt it. I struggle to stop when I start pushing the slot machin buttons. I blow it all and then leave and get more money and go back. 

On a good day I hit a $100 jackpot and tell myself I am quitting. But, then a few weeks or month later I am back. Then I start chasing my losses. 

I have to accept I struggle so much to stop when I start gambling that I cannot start. Thanks all for reading.

I am only 1 day clean but plan to stay this way for good. I have to before I lose it all and get even further in debt to the point I can’t get out ever.

[Hawkman]

I can relate to the thought you want to sabotage yourself. I think subconsciously I do that too. I vowed in the spring to stop going to the boat and play the slots. Logically, I realize it is a constant roller coaster of win/loss/win/loss that does not stop. Then I went a few weeks ago and won. I vowed I would stop after hitting a good win. Of course, winning never was going to stop me. That encouraged me to go back and try again. I went less than a week ago and lost $100 and went back to the casino 3 times in the same day. Even if I am not addicted it is definitely becoming an addiction. I went back and forth to the boat 3 times in one day. What was I thinking!? I am determined to stop sabotaging my process and end slot play for good this time. I appreciate you all being here.

[Hawkman]

The idea of hitting that big win to win back losses is a big driver for me and I just have to accept some money is gone until I work to get it back. I agree there likely is a link with OCD and most addictions. I am very OCD even if people around me don’t realize it.

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