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  • in reply to: Happy Christmas! #74858
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Hope you had a lovely Christmas Steev. It’s nice to hear from you. I visit much less often now as the site is more difficult to use on a mobile phone so I’m glad I saw your message.
    Wishing you a great 2021.

    in reply to: To live, that would be a great adventure #69225
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Hi Kathryn
    nI’m so happy to read that things have improved so much with your husband. It sounds like he really understands that he has a special lady in you !
    nI have stopped gambling for over a year now – life is improving in all aspects – although like you described in your posts – I still feel I need to check in with someone now and again.
    nKin has already said he hopes many of the old members will return and that would be nice.
    nI felt that bringing in the “new members group” devalued the members who had come to use this as a regular support, and in the end many left.
    n Rather than a new members’ group, I think a group for those who are in recovery for a while or trying to get there for a long time is more important as there is less support available for these – especially for those who don’t find GA helpful.
    nPerhaps we could meet in a group soon!

    in reply to: I’m not giving up! #69224
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Hi Lizbeth,
    nHope all is going well with you.
    nX

    in reply to: My journey. #68993
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Great point Steev!

    To play conjures images of innocent happy fun suitable for children.

    To bet is an adult activity and immediately brings to mind people gambling their homes or businesses  in a game  of cards.

    All self-talk is important but our use of specific language can definitely influence our perception.

    in reply to: Going to try one more time AGAIN #68992
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Hi Berta
    nThings can become very bad quite quickly with gambling addiction. What surprised me is how quickly they can improve once we stop.
    n
    nI think for many of us women the why is low self esteem or a relationship which has chipped away at our confidence. Whatever the reason, I found it helpful to make it impossible to gamble. In the early days when gambling was an automatic process for me, I had layers of barriers so that I had thinking time.
    n
    nKeep your eye on the prize Bertha – the prize is a happier life for you. It is worth more than any jackpot we could ever win.
    n
    nAccept that you will never win- your brain is forever changed by addiction and even the biggest win will just keep you in action longer. Eventually the balance will hit zero and you will spend days berating yourself hat you didn’t cash out… the brainwashing of addiction is the same for us all- endless cycles of highs and lows until we crash.
    n
    nKeep strong Bertha – attend support groups online or in person and really accept that you deserve a life free from this horrible addiction.
    n
    n

    in reply to: Cynthia #68940
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Well done on your three days Cynthia.
    nAdd as many barriers as you can.
    nAdd free gambling blocks to your internet devices .
    nOnce I even had to “drown” my iPad.
    nDo everything possible to stop.
    nA supplement which helped me a little was NAC.
    nGoogle it and see what you think.
    n
    nYou deserve to be spending all that money on you .
    nYou can stop – remember that.

    in reply to: Cynthia #68932
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Hi Cynthia

    Perhaps you could make some meetings.

    There are groups on here some nights and also local and online GA meetings I was where you were a year ago and I managed to stop with the right support – you can too.

    Keep strong.

    Put barriers in place so you can’t  gamble . My bank card for example is a new one with the back numbers scratched off so I can’t deposit online. You will get lots more ideas on here –

    Just keep in mind that you can stop – people stop every day ! Keep posting .

    in reply to: starting my recovery! #68684
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Hi Alex,
    nWell done on all the action your have taken so far – you are really determined to beat this thing.
    n
    nAlso well done on having a debt recovery plan.
    n
    nMy experience of debt repayment was a little different so I’m just going to throw this out there for you to consider.
    n
    nOne of the biggest benefits and motivators for me has been buying nice stuff for myself (and others)- I especially love sparkly things and have a beautiful room to sit in now with sparkly wallpaper, curtains etc. I also like buying clothes and am about to go to town soon to do so! I also like to see a healthy balance in my bank account and know that no emergency will make me desperate for money – desperate enough to gamble .
    n
    nSo for me I slowed down the debt payment thing so I could enjoy life during the process- if we don’t have money left over for fun stuff we might well be tempted to seek our escape/ fun in the wrong place.(gambling)
    n
    nMy circumstances have changed during this time (pay rise etc) and I find that I am paying back quicker that I expected but also Living a life I enjoy.
    nPerhaps for now it might be helpful for you to enjoy the benefits of non gambling and get used to spending your money on you again while still making a smaller dent in your debts. You deserve to have nice things no matter what mistakes you have made .
    n

    in reply to: Gave up new years eve #68683
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Beem you are the bravest person. You tried controlled gambling, decided it wasn’t working for you and have come back with honesty to admit this and already look at the progress you are making.
    nI am filled with admiration and look forward to reading more about your gamble free life .

    in reply to: Reboot my Recovery in Yr 2020 #68566
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Hi kin,
    nThank you for sharing.
    nReading your post I realise that when I stay up late the addiction also stirs within me. It is like a beast waiting for the cover of night and for the weakness of tiredness.
    n
    nYou have shown great discipline in doing to right things at the right time. You show great self awareness and I find your posts very helpful – I read almost every day even though I post a lot leas than I used to.
    nKeep strong Kin.

    in reply to: My journey. #68530
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Hi steev
    nGreat post! I looked up the people you mentioned. Most interesting .
    nIt’s a horrible time right now and lockdown has affected us all in one way or another. Having a bad tummy can’t help. Hope you are feeling better.
    nThank God we don’t have to add gambling and being skint to the list of depressing stuff right now.
    nTake care – talk soon!
    n

    in reply to: I’m not giving up! #68503
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Hi Lizbeth
    nOverwhelm is a huge trigger for many of us- what can you cut out or postpone? Can u order food in instead of cooking? How can you be kind to yourself and lighten your load.
    n
    nYou have come so far, practice some mindfulness today and ride out the urges – remember gambling won’t help – it will just put off the feeling of overwhelm for a few hours and then it will return accompanied by a plethora of other negative feelings such as shame, guilt, regret…
    n
    nYou can do this – stay strong. Feelings pass but money takes a long time to recoup. Replay the tape of your last loss in your head. You’ve got this Lizbeth.

    i-did-it
    Participant

    Ed I think that’s a really good question – I think what you are asking is are there others who have sank as far as you feel you have or are you completely out of control and beyond hope?
    n
    nI often had big wins – most of us have- and one day I realised that I would never ‘win’ again because I had lost the ability to withdraw no matter how much I won. I would stay playing for hours and hours until the balance eventually reached zero.
    nI would promise myself when I reached a certain amount I would withdraw only to ignore my promise once I reached that amount.
    n
    nI also realised quite quickly that by not gambling those amounts built up in my bank anyway … ok a lot slower than with a win but the money is in my bank rather than in my dreams!
    n
    nI needed a lot of support to stop gambling but I have been stopped for almost a year – it sometimes is a battle still and I guess I will have that temptation for a long time.
    n
    nI would suggest you talk to your doctor or an organisation which offers support such as counselling. GA is a good start but many of us need more than that. I could have gambled for 24 hours until my money ran out but I managed to stop with the right support.
    n
    nSo in answer to your question the answer is yes , there are people similar to you who could not withdraw no matter how big the win, who felt they could never stop but who are now living happy gamble free lives. You can do it too and you deserve to be free from this as much as anyone else.
    n
    n
    n

    in reply to: Day one…again… #55067
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Hi James
    I’m so sorry to read about your recent relapse .
    When I hear gambling disorder and OCD in the same sentence I immediately wonder if the supplement NAC might help?
    It might be worth your while googling it and checking with your doctor if you could take it.

    It’s hard to admit to a relapse but you should feel proud of yourself for your honesty both on here and to your wife. Also well done for reaching out for support.

    in reply to: In memory of Bettie #55057
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Aw so sad. RIP dear Bettie x

    …and thank you Kathryn for letting us know.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 2,308 total)