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  • in reply to: stay focus on today #190704
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Hi Kin
    Hope you are doing ok buddy?
    I think we have to see any relapse as part of the “journey”.
    We have to try and learn from it, dust ourselves off and keep trying to quit.
    I do believe that if we really want it enough that we can stop.
    Best wishes, keep going, one day at a time.

    in reply to: Struggle to let go #190703
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Hi Kin and Don
    Many thanks for your well wishes. Best wishes coming back to you both.
    I feel after 1 year that I am coming out “into the light”. Out of a black hole of thoughts dominated by gambling.
    My life is no bed of roses, there are lots of things to sort out. But my mind is clearer to deal with life and what it can throw at you.
    Gambling is just another problem we inflict on ourselves methinks.
    Why would I now re-enter the black hole????
    Best wishes to all.

    in reply to: Struggle to let go #190384
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Hi Kin
    Many thanks for your encouragement!!
    Yes, March 27th. One year gamble free for me.
    Things have got better since I quit gambling that is FOR SURE.
    I would like to encourage anybody else who may read this post it can be done. If I can do it from the point I was at then ANYONE can.
    I also know my work is far from complete and infact it won’t ever be complete. I still will need to keep my guard up and continue to work on myself and my behaviours.
    As compulsive gamblers I have come to the conclusion that we must eventually face the facts.
    We cannot control our gambling so we must STOP.
    NEVER place the first bet.
    There is NO such thing as a fun bet for us.
    Further gambling will only make things WORSE.
    On the plus side. There is so much more time to focus on positive things and our relationships with others. To get back to enjoying life without being distracted.
    It is SO much better.
    Best wishes.

    in reply to: Embrace the Struggle #190151
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Hi CraigMac
    There is a better life waiting for you without gambling.
    Gambling weighs us down.
    Stay strong, learn from mistakes, move forwards. You can do it buddy.
    Start afresh, small steps you will get your better life and be the best version of you.
    Take care and best wishes.

    in reply to: Struggle to let go #190150
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Hi Don, CraigMac, Patrick, Kin
    Thanks for your posts.

    I like your line on keeping 100% of the money you do not gamble with Don.
    For me I try and concentrate so much on avoiding any opportunity to place the dreaded first bet. Win or lose it doesn’t end well. Just keep what we have, sounds so simple really !!!!

    Hey CraigMac, good to see you posting again. Keep fighting this addiction, there can be a way out, stay positive.

    Patrick, we do get drawn into this horrible addiction. There are things we can all do to stop. Using blockers such as gamban, self excluding, blocking bank cards, handing over finances for starters. Then look at what triggers the gambling and try and avoid those situations. Do positive things with your time, seek counselling, join a Gamblers Anonymous. There are many things but I have found being 100% committed to stopping, staying positive, strong and taking things one day at a time have helped me immensely.
    Reading other posts on here is also really helpful. I would recommend that you start your own “thread” on here. That way more people may correspond with you.

    Hey Kin, hope all is good with you. Keep fighting the good fight. One day at a time.

    So another week goes by. Really proud of myself that despite temptation I DID NOT gamble at the Cheltenham Festival.
    March 27th is 1 year gamble free for me. I am nearly there. Eat, sleep, do positive things, repeat.
    Best wishes all.

    in reply to: Struggle to let go #189625
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Hi Don
    Yes, we have to avoid that first bet. We are compulsives and unfortunately we have to accept that if we place a bet we cannot control the consequences.
    I have done a lot of thinking about my own gambling.
    Fundamentally I was not happy or content. My self esteem was low, I was often looking at what others had or what they were doing,
    Also I have a poor relationship with money. I can be scrooge like one minute then reckless the next??? I had thoughts money would make me happy. I had wins but it didn’t make me happy.
    Look at some lottery winners, they have relationship problems, drug/alcohol issues and are sometimes back to square one soon enough.
    Money helps in life for sure. Paying the bills and buying nice things. But it does not guarantee happiness.
    I gambled out of boredom, to seek some excitement too. I need to get my “kicks” elsewhere.
    So now I am on a quest to find true happiness and contentment.
    There are many good things in my life, I need to be grateful for those. I need to be grateful for the simple things in life.
    Looking more closely at betting being a situation that we are sucked into and can be tormented. Sometimes if I won I still was not happy because I would think I should have put more money on that or got better odds!! If I lost I would chase, chase, chase to get it back.
    Winning made me greedy, seeking another high sometimes too. Chasing losses made me totally obsessed.
    If I am even thinking about placing a bet now I come on here and post myself, read what I have written previously or look at other posts.
    Best wishes.

    in reply to: Struggle to let go #189552
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Another week or so goes by.
    Getting more organised with moving forwards.
    Better with managing my time again. Not being so distracted by thoughts of gambling and the damage it has done.
    I will admit that some thoughts about gambling have popped up this last week. Here in the UK we have the Cheltenham horse racing festival next week. This is an event that has always previously dominated my thoughts. I have taken time off from work to watch it before, made time when at work to watch races before etc….
    This year I intend things to be different.
    1. I have identified it as a major trigger and distract myself when thoughts do creep in
    2. I am avoiding sports websites, newspapers etc
    3. A plan is in place to keep myself busy next week
    One bet, if successful would lead to another, then another ….
    One bet, if it is a loser would lead to another then another
    Avoid, avoid, avoid. I am a better man without gambling.
    One day at a time, best wishes.

    in reply to: stay focus on today #189551
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Hi Kin
    I really like your post on overthinking. I am definitely an overthinker!!
    I need to bear those points in mind in order to cope more effectively with what life throws at you.
    Learn my lessons and don’t keep making the same mistakes for sure !!
    Many thanks for posting. Onwards and upwards, one day at a time. Best wishes.

    in reply to: Today I hope is the day #189271
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Hi Gustav
    Been reading your posts, well done on your 2 weeks. Keep going, you are doing the right things.
    I too am a compulsive gambler. Stay strong and take each day in turn.

    in reply to: stay focus on today #189270
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Hi Kin
    You mentioned being work in progress and under construction.
    Yes, I am too.
    We can use the experiences of being involved in gambling to fully experience living and developing ourselves.
    When we gamble we are consumed!
    Imagine being free???
    Best wishes

    in reply to: Struggle to let go #189268
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Hi Don and Maverick
    Thanks for your posts and hope you are both keeping well.
    Don, we have to let go. It is very difficult, I know that for sure. I still and always will have regrets.
    However I am trying to turn the negative into a positive by becoming a better person.
    Now I want to make the most of everyday, have better relationships, look after myself more amongst many others.
    I still have urges and thoughts but barriers are in place and I come on here and add to my journal or read other posts.
    If I can ultimately live my life in a better way then I will try and look at the losses as the price I paid to do it.
    Maverick, stay out of the “prison”. Gambling enslaves us, We know we are better off without it but it does have a magnetic draw on us. We have to recognise our triggers, stay strong, get through each day in turn.
    11 months gamble free now. Some of the pain of the losses have gone now, I don’t think about it so much.
    As mentioned I now want to use the losses as a spur to live the rest of my life in a good way.
    Best wishes to all.

    in reply to: Struggle to let go #188951
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Another week passes by. Time goes so quickly.
    Time is so precious. I DO NOT want to waste any more time gambling or doing anything else related to gambling.
    We cannot buy time, we have to let go of money and time wasted in gambling activity.
    If we move on, make the most of everything we do have then there is a future.
    Gambling was kind of like being in a prison. Now I am feeling free.
    Make the most of everyday. One day at a time.

    in reply to: stay focus on today #188947
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Hi Kin
    Keep up the great work in your recovery.
    I really appreciated your post about the Jaywalker story. Thanks for posting that, I can relate to it unfortunately !!
    But I am not going to jaywalk/gamble again.

    That would be crazy wouldn’t it ???

    Best wishes

    in reply to: stay focus on today #188413
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Hi Kin
    I echo what Cruising247 said. My thoughts are with you too.
    Stay strong at this time. Gambling does not respect us when we are going through a tough time, it seeks to exploit us.
    Take care, best wishes.

    in reply to: Struggle to let go #188412
    marcusmaximus
    Participant

    Hi Jayleenmoody
    Thank you for your kind words and advice. I am going along ok at the moment but am aware where I can get further help if needed.
    Looking more forwards than backwards now which is good. The wasted time and money is in the past.
    I can change things in my future but I cannot alter the past!
    The best thing I can do to have a better future is not to self destruct.
    The biggest factor in how I have previously self destructed is gambling.
    So today I will not gamble. Tomorrow I do the same. One day at a time.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 90 total)